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To me you are making sense!!


In Franks situation, I just feel that his Wife had her reasons, and if you had the opportunity to speak with her, you would hear a different side of the story....Just as if you spoke to any of our Spouses.

I have never condoned an affair, and until I came to this site and actually became friends with people who had committed adultery, I never fully understood why anyone would do it.

I still don't agree but I understand why people do the things they do.

I am not sure exactly what is different with Frank this time.

You have always had the ability to go home. You have the Ruby Slippers. Just click your heels three times and say "There's no place like home".


There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
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The men and woman who can not see that their actions helped lead to their spouse having an affair will have missed a very important leg of their journey.

While absolutely no one is ever "pushed" into an affair, myself included, the deck can certainly be being stacked against us for years before it actually happens. Then, when it does happen, we who are committing adultery spend most of our time wrongfully blaming YOU and then for those of us whom reality gets a hold of, we can then look forward to YOU then wholly blaming us. Is it ANY wonder so many WASs keep walking?

For healing to truly take place, whether the marriage is reconciled or not, there has to be a meeting in the middle. Where both parties share the blame - and then cut it loose. If that does not occur, the injured spouse misses out on God's grace and the former adulterous spouse misses out on His mercy, which she (or he) would receive abundantly through your genuine understanding and forgiveness.

That is all I have to add to this thread.



AmyC

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Originally Posted By: AmyC

The men and woman who can not see that their actions helped lead to their spouse having an affair will have missed a very important leg of their journey.

While absolutely no one is ever "pushed" into an affair, myself included, the deck can certainly be being stacked against us for years before it actually happens. Then, when it does happen, we who are committing adultery spend most of our time wrongfully blaming YOU and then for those of us whom reality gets a hold of, we can then look forward to YOU then wholly blaming us. Is it ANY wonder so many WASs keep walking?


I have always taken responsibility for my part of this, and I understand that I 'stacked' the deck against us surviving and leading to her having an affair. That's hard to accept but I do.


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Of course you do...cause you get to feel bad about it.

; )

I'm being a jerk because I want you to get mad Frank.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Originally Posted By: brandnewday

I am not sure exactly what is different with Frank this time.

You have always had the ability to go home. You have the Ruby Slippers. Just click your heels three times and say "There's no place like home".

I don't know what you mean about the Ruby slippers.

I think what's different this time is last time her affair partner was 3,000 miles away in Connecticut. Not down the street.

It was a lot easier to handle the pain. And she was in the house and I was motivated to DB through it. I wasn't under as much financial pressure at the same time like I am now.

I guess I'm just beaten down more this time. It's been a lot harder to get back up.


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Originally Posted By: frank_D
Originally Posted By: AmyC

The men and woman who can not see that their actions helped lead to their spouse having an affair will have missed a very important leg of their journey.

While absolutely no one is ever "pushed" into an affair, myself included, the deck can certainly be being stacked against us for years before it actually happens. Then, when it does happen, we who are committing adultery spend most of our time wrongfully blaming YOU and then for those of us whom reality gets a hold of, we can then look forward to YOU then wholly blaming us. Is it ANY wonder so many WASs keep walking?


I have always taken responsibility for my part of this, and I understand that I 'stacked' the deck against us surviving and leading to her having an affair. That's hard to accept but I do.


I know that.
You are one of the exceptions, Jack.

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Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Of course you do...cause you get to feel bad about it.

; )

I'm being a jerk because I want you to get mad Frank.


I am mad, but I'm done feeling 'bad' about it. She did what she did and this is who she is.


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words Frank, I've heard this song before, you know?

Amy, That wasn't me it was Frank. Although YES, Amen and Hallelujiah! I have sinned as well as my wife in the path of her MLC and lead her into temptation. ; )



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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W just showed up with groceries. Told me a couple of choices for dinner she was making tonight and asked me which one I would like.

I'm trying to avoid her.


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Why are you trying to avoid her

This is exactly what I am confused about!

Can't you be a grown up about this?


There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
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