{{Sandi}} Ok..so YOU are George Peppard from the A-team in this scenario eh..LOL..I always liked that show..it was silly and cute and funny! "Love it when a plan comes together"
Sandi..I can't say I'm so sorry you're going thru this, as per your "no more I'm sorry orders" LOL..but a wonderfully awesome giving, kind, caring woman like yourself sure doesn't need to be burdened down with this stuff that's for sure..and I'm not very happy about it (LOL..there you go..no I'm sorry in that
I haven't had the problems you have, but I agree with Kristi about herbs and stuff..I had eczema (skin rash, dry red skin)really bad starting around my 20's and really going thru my early 30's..and nothing seemed to help until a friend of mine said she knew a lady who had some stuff that could help. I had tried EVERYTHING and thought, why not, so she brings me this stuff to take internally and I'm thinking, wait, it's on the outside..LOL..but basically it was like a "detox" in a way, and it really helped..
I hope you find something that helps you so that you can kick up your heels along with us
{{{Kristi}}} Since we hijacked your thread, figured I'd at least throw a hug in there
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Good, morning, Kristi!! I must say that you are sounding better and better to me.
The poker game does sound awesome, and a massage and a little pampering for yourself will be terrific. You deserve some of that!!!!
Movie night last week got busted up...my S7 got an invite to spend the night with a friend. So, he says, "Mom, I'd really rather do that." Oh, well! S3 and I took him over there and ended up staying for 2 and 1/2 hours visiting their family. By the time we got home with our movies, S3 was too tired to watch long.
But, we did have a good weekend anyway! I still don't have my tree decorated. I'm way behind this year. But, maybe I'll make that one of our new Christmas traditions...decorating the tree at the last minute.
BTW, FB is Facebook. Don't feel silly about asking. I had to ask too. But, don't give out contact info. here, you could be banned and we'd miss you!!
Much love to you!!
Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
Ok..so YOU are George Peppard from the A-team in this scenario eh..LOL..I always liked that show..it was silly and cute and funny! "Love it when a plan comes together"
Hey, you are pretty sharp! I did not know if anyone would pick up on that or not...LOL.
Thank you all for your words of comfort and concern for me. It truly has been good medicine for my soul. It would take too much space to explain how this works on my mental/emotional state. Just know that I do appreciate your kindness and your prayers.
I am ready to take a look at whatever anyone has confidence in that works. I have had people to tell me about some things that I tried and it made no affects on me, but I keep hoping there is something out there that will make a difference. That is one thing....I have not given up hope. I may sound down some of the times and have times like Monday when I get all emotional at the doctor's office (which I hate doing), and I may have certain fears about what the future holds if I don't find something that works for me.....but I have not given up hope. I just can't b/c that is all I have right now. Okay, so now I am crying and I have to get ready for work. That shows you that my depression is still not under control.
One thing I wanted to mention.....well, maybe more than one.... Last night when I saw the home page on MSN about little Adam Walsh and watched the video and heard what his dad said, I cried my eyes out to think about what that poor family has gone through for 27 years! The dad (can't think of his name right now, but I think it is John) said that it had really been a stuggle for him and his wife and that they had been over a very rocky road......and I believe the way he said it and the way he looked at her, he was talking about thier relationship with one another. I have seen where parents lose a child in death and how it will either pull them apart or it will make them push together closer. But, one way or the other.....it will affect their M. There is a couple who have been friends for many years that lost a child and I admired them and the way they clung to each other b/c their hopes of being grandparents was all gone when that child died. They had no family after she was gone. So, all they have is each other. It breaks my heart, but yet it blesses me also to see that a couple can survive such a terrible thing. Sure puts some things in our life in perspective, doesn't it? I know that many, many of you are going through a very tough holiday season this year and my heart breaks for all of you. I know some major decisions have been made and/or will take effect as soon as Christmas is over, but I guess I just wanted to tell you that as long as you have children (and most of you do) that is so much to be thankful for. If any of us have anyone in our life that we consider a loved one, whether they are actually a family member or a friend.....we are blessed. I hope that in spite of your pain, that you all may be able to see the good things that you still have that are near and dear to you. And that goes for me too! As Tawyna said about our little "pack" not to say, "I'm sorry" (we are trying to break that habit), but I can say that I have a lot of feeling in my heart for all of you and I've never seen your sweet faces, but you are very real to me and your problems are real. I have spent many hours here on this board this past year and I do not regret one minute of it. I have been the one that learned and received so much from you all. I am talking as if I am addressing everyone on the board (here on Kristi's thread), but that is b/c I have learned that so many people will read somebody's post without ever saying a word in response. So, that is for any of you that reads this.
Kristi, I hope you don't mind me taking up this space on your thread. It doesn't bother me for people to do that b/c you can start as many as you need to.
I love you girls and guys. Hope you have a safe, warm, and good day.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
{{{Sandi}}} Thank you for stopping by my thread and for posting this and YOU are right (as usual)..we need to be thankful for what we do have and focus on that instead of what we feel we are losing..and really just stay in the "present" time..not looking back and feeling badly about our past or looking ahead and feeling sad or fearful about the future..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Hey Kristi, it's almost the weekend and would love to hear from you. I know things are going to get hectic here in the next few day. Did you ever start your Christmas shopping? This is going to be one of our "lean" years due to the fact my H has not been able to work as much as he used to.
This may not apply to you or any of the girls that have been posting to you, but as I have said, we never know who may be reading and perhaps something we say will help them through a bad time. When my H and I were younger and our children were small, there were times that our finances were so bad that we wondered if there would be a gift from Santa under the tree on Christmas morning. Then one Christmas we nearly lost one of those children. In fact, there have been two Christastimes that we nearly lost her. One year during the holidays, my grandfather passed away. We are certainly not the only ones that get hit with things of this nature during this time of year. It is not God that is being mean to us......man is the one that set that date on the calendar as to be the day we celebrate Christmas. Anyway, when I nearly lost my child, that is when I learned that those material gifts did not mean a thing to me.....I only wanted her to live. Those material gifts are nice to give and to receive and I have learned to enjoy the "fat" years and when the "lean" years hit....I know that God will get us through it....He always has. It is those "gifts" that money cannot buy that I have learned to treasure. So, if there is anyone out there that is worried about not having enough money during this bad economical time in the USA, please believe that you will get pass that.....you will come through it. Try to focus on what Christmas is about.....if you are a Christian and celebrate the birth of Christ, then that is the reason for the season (as the popular saying goes).
As far the emotional pain during this time, I can partly identify with that also. Won't go into all of it, but I know how bad one can hurt at this time of year and it has nothing to do with money or even health.......it is other painful things we are going through. I know that Kristi and a lot of "my girls" will be facing this Christmastime with much difficulty. I want to just tell them that they are not alone and please do not feel that you are. We may not be there physically with you, but we are in love and spirit. Most of all, God is there and although the pain may not disappear for you right then......please try to have faith that it will get better.
I am proud of the stand that you have taken, but it is a hard time.....not that anytime is easy, but it seems to be harder for some at this time of year. Perhaps it would help to not watch the warm, fuzzy, family Christmas movies, or the sad ones, but try to find comical things to watch. Try to tune out all the commercial things you see in town and everywhere you go. Stay focused on what your goal is and take one day.....or one hour at a time and keep talking to yourself and telling yourself that you can do this......you do have the strength.....you are applying tough love and standing up for your self respect.......and just take baby steps.
Hope you get time to drop a line, so we won't be so worried. It just helps us to know you are okay. And if you are NOT okay....then we certainly want you to come to us....alrighty?
Kristi, you are loved, sweetheart. I have not known you long, but sometimes a person doesn't have to, in order to realize that you are a special lady who deserves much better than she has had.
Please take care of yourself. Be good to yourself.....and pamper yourself. If he won't treat you like a queen...then treat yourself like one!
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well here is what has been going on all week.. After I sent that email on Sunday I actually felt really good.. I felt strong and a sense of relief.. I just wish I could have bottled that feeling up and held on to it longer because today it is gone.
My H and I had exchanged several emails. Just general info. I live about 1.5 hrs from my family his mom lives 5 min minutes from my mom, so every year we travel for the holidays. As we were discussing arrangements for Christmas Eve/Day he stated he would like us all to get together as a "group" to exchange gifts with the kids (me, him, and our children) Had this exchange been happening in our home I guess I would feel more comfortable but it would be at his moms's and while I love his mom and have nothing against her I do not feel comfortable given the situation. I think I am afraid of breaking down and getting too emotional and I do not want to ruin it for the kids. Also the term "group" kind of bothered me as opposed to "family"..therefore I kindly declined the offer and said I appreciated the invite but I didn't think it was a good idea.
I think he got really flustered b/c at first he said he needed time to think about what I was saying internally..he has been saying this a lot lately..
he also said he would watch the kids this weekend if I wanted to go away. Stating no hidden agenda. Now I have plans and I didn't feel like going anyway anywhere b/c I have shopping to do, so I said thank you but no need for you to come here, I will be home with kids this weekend. I have some plans already but agian thanks. To which he replied, I can't believe you aren't going to go away...oh well I tried. I said well again, I said thank you, but by the sounds of it you seem very disappointed and it would lead me to believe there is indeed a hidden agenda. I said if you are looking to get more of your stuff just tell me, you don't have to get me out of the house to do it I would be happy to help you move out.
He is supposed to be picking things up today. But he swears he was just being nice abt the weekend. I got a bunch of his stuff together and I went to find his wedding ring to give to him and it was gone. Apparently he already took it. I had it with my jewlery in a box. So he would have had to go looking for it. I called and asked if he did take it..wanting to make sure I wasn't losing my mind and misplaced it. And he said he did take it. This kind of bothered me only because he never seemed to care about wearing it. But now all of a sudden he felt the need to search through my stuff to find it.
Anyway, we sent several emails back and forth yesterday about the holdiays and visiting the kids, also about him getting his stuff. When I offered to help he flat out got pissed and said to not touch his stuff and leave it alone. I tried to say I was being very nice and in no way was trying to disrespect him or his things I was just offering to help put some things together for him if he liked and he called and snapped and told me not to touch anything.
So today I am in a more emotional mood. I realized that we can't email because he takes things wrong. We can't text...because the words are only viewed the way each of us wants to take them and we certainly can not talk to each other right now.. so how do we communicate????
I have tried so hard all week to be nothing but civil and kind and yet he still thinks I am being mean and a smart. It is so frustrating because I am not being that way at all. So today I am really frustrated. I don't know how to communicate with him at all.
Maybe its just because tomorrow will be our 10 year anniversary and I really didn't want to be in this place and it is still hard to accept, yet I am learning to accept.
thanks for being here for me..
Sandi..I will get you that info. Amy...I realized after the fact with FB was and yes I do have a facebook account.
Kristi...it will be okay. The anniversary and Christmas will be tough. He's starting to realize that you won't just hang around and wait for him to get his act together, and that's scary to him.
I think you should communicate as little as possible...then, it doesn't matter how you do it or the tone. Keep emails/texts as short as possible...just the necessary info. If you look back at your emails that you discussed above, there was way more than necessary info. You probably shouldn't have sent the one about how he "sounded disappointed about not watching the kids..." See what I mean?
You'll get there. Keep you chin up...remember that you are an incredible woman and you deserve to be treated as such!
Be strong.
Love to you! Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
You are right..yet again. I know I put too much detail in my emails to him.
Like I said most of this week I was good. But then when he started to get upset and angry I automatically went into defense mode again. I was good at remaining calm, and I tried to watch what I wrote so it didn't sound negative or accusatory yet somehow it still did. When I don't answer all his questions or I shorten the answers..he responds with "you never addressed X" So then I go back and address..X even though I purposley didn't because I felt it wasn't important or that I felt he was just probing and looking for a fight.
A friend of mine said I should re-think Christmas eve and spend it with him. What do you think? It would only be to exchange gifts with the kids.
I am so confused. I am trying to let go.. I really felt like I was starting to accept what was happening. But I still really believe we could make this marriage work. Part of me is begining to think I am absolutely crazy for thinking that. But I do think that.
I have been up since 3:30 so I am really tired. My D school just called and said she was sick. The way it looks my poker night may get derailed by bad weather which we are supposed to get tomorrow and a sick child!!!
{{{Kristi}}} No happy news, I'm in a "funk" myself today..so I am only here to offer moral support and an "I understand how you feel exactly" about accepting what is happening but still thinking the marriage can work at the same time..it's a weird, crazy feeling isn't it?
I hope you get to have your poker night, but I also know you guys are suppose to be getting some crummy weather up that way!
I dunno what to tell you about the get together..I think you have to go with what you think is the right thing to do for you and your family sitch.
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Last night when I saw the home page on MSN about little Adam Walsh and watched the video and heard what his dad said, I cried my eyes out to think about what that poor family has gone through for 27 years! The dad (can't think of his name right now, but I think it is John) said that it had really been a stuggle for him and his wife and that they had been over a very rocky road......and I believe the way he said it and the way he looked at her, he was talking about thier relationship with one another. I have seen where parents lose a child in death and how it will either pull them apart or it will make them push together closer. But, one way or the other.....it will affect their M. There is a couple who have been friends for many years that lost a child and I admired them and the way they clung to each other b/c their hopes of being grandparents was all gone when that child died. They had no family after she was gone. So, all they have is each other. It breaks my heart, but yet it blesses me also to see that a couple can survive such a terrible thing. Sure puts some things in our life in perspective, doesn't it? I know that many, many of you are going through a very tough holiday season this year and my heart breaks for all of you. I know some major decisions have been made and/or will take effect as soon as Christmas is over, but I guess I just wanted to tell you that as long as you have children (and most of you do) that is so much to be thankful for. If any of us have anyone in our life that we consider a loved one, whether they are actually a family member or a friend.....we are blessed. I hope that in spite of your pain, that you all may be able to see the good things that you still have that are near and dear to you. And that goes for me too! As Tawyna said about our little "pack" not to say, "I'm sorry" (we are trying to break that habit), but I can say that I have a lot of feeling in my heart for all of you and I've never seen your sweet faces, but you are very real to me and your problems are real. I have spent many hours here on this board this past year and I do not regret one minute of it. I have been the one that learned and received so much from you all. I am talking as if I am addressing everyone on the board (here on Kristi's thread), but that is b/c I have learned that so many people will read somebody's post without ever saying a word in response. So, that is for any of you that reads this. 