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#167004 08/07/03 07:06 PM
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Thanks Shiney for informing me that my thread had locked down.
I wonder what cybergod decides when it's time to cut the thread? Hmph...

Anyway, as you already know Shiney, the fast and flush before a Colonoscopy is a real joy. I've been in the read and run mode all afternoon. I'm just now able to sit long enough to post. Did you get very cold? My body and hands were shaking a lot the whole time and two of my fingertips went numb. I'm thawing now under my blankee, but boy am I hungry!

Okay, this really is not the most glamorous opening post I've ever written.

Jeannine


Jeannine
#167005 08/07/03 07:26 PM
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Here is the link to my last thread. Working With New Seeds

And for those of you who don't know me yet and have lives to live, here is my summary.

Summary:

H and I have been together for seven years. We were married on the dock of our home on Parkside Dr. and lived relatively happy, productive lives there.

We adopted all three of our children (they each have four legs, a tail and are covered in hair).

My mother and her husband lived in their own condo back then and I took care of them by running back and forth and managing their bills as well.
However, both were diagnosed with Alzheimer's and could no longer live safely on their own.
My brother (who lives in Costa Rica) and I decided upon a plan to protect Mom's assets and more importantly, them.

My mother is a retired nurse who worked in geriatrics for several years and swore she'd rather be dead than end up in a nursing home.

So we used her assets to buy a nice big home that could be converted into a two family dwelling. My H and I both agreed to live their, I would be their fulltime caregiver and H would help with the caretaking and be their to assist me in other ways. You know, the things that H's and W's usually do for each other. Emotional support, sharing responsibilies.....

Anyway, it was understood that this was going to be a two man job at the very least. I know that my brother would never have suggested this arrangement if he had known that there was even a slight chance that I would be left to do this alone. Everyone thought we had a solid M, including me.

We moved in, December of 2001.

Early in 2002, my H was made supervisor in his department of a large dental lab. His job is very demanding of his time and energy. We ourselves, had been working toward starting our own lab over the years and have put ourselves into debt collecting the equipment and supplies needed. This is still on hold.

October 2002, my H hired a woman to work in his department and this is when our relationship noticably took a turn down a dark path. He later admitted that they were doing some heavy flirting back in December of 2002.

H suddenly was coming home later and later and going out after work with others (or just one other) nearly every night. His behavior toward me was increasingly cold, distant and irritable.

In January 22, 2003, H dropped the bomb that he wanted to leave, that he had wanted to leave for a long time, he didn't think he ever was truly in love with me...blah, blah, blah.

Then a week and half later I asked H if he was having an affair and he admitted that he was but said that sex was not involved. Later that same night, after he had raced away from me in order to be with her, he came home at 2a.m. and admitted that they had just had sex that evening and that they had been having sex for some time.

Many lies and more betrayal followed over the months and he still seemed bent on leaving.

June 2003, H appears to have ended the A for real this time.

July 4, 2003, H declares his independance and tells me that all he can offer me now is to be a part-time H. He moved some things back to Parkside.

One week after our new arrangement was in gear, my doctor confirmed that my weight loss and other physical problems that had been taking control of my body over the past months, were indicitive of something serious.

I confront H about holding off with the partial seperation plan because of my present condition. H agreed after some resistance.

So there you have it, the barebones version of my history.

For you masochists out there, here are the links to my previous threads.

Working With New Seeds
A Ray of Hope - I hope
A Ray of Hope?
In Grave Despair continued
In Grave Despair
Great Sex, Still in Trouble


Jeannine
#167006 08/07/03 07:27 PM
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Jeannine --

Oh, good luck hon!

I've done the "fast and flush" and had a pretty strong physical reaction to it...I was freezing and shaky just like you said. (I also threw up a few times...hope you're past that danger point! But, if not, well, it's sort of normal.) I found that vegetable bouillion (sp?) was a good friend to me that night....

Sage -- just continuing the glamour of the thread


Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
#167007 08/07/03 07:36 PM
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Sage,

I..did..not..know.

So you were also initiated into the club of glamorous colonoscopy kids?

I'm relieved to hear that the "freezing and shaking" is par for the course.

I'm going to hunt through the pantry to see if I have any bouillion!

Jeannine


Jeannine
#167008 08/07/03 09:33 PM
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Hi Jeannine,

Here's praying that tomorrow brings you some long-awaited answers, and that they are good ones! Sorry about your current discomfort. Sounds like no fun at all.

Brian

#167009 08/09/03 10:49 AM
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Hi Jeannine,
Thanks for the summary. Thanks also for posting to my old thread a while back. I kept wanting to catch up on your sitch but the size of the thread kinda put me off, so maybe it's just as well you got locked out - LOL.

anyway you take care

Fran


if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong
#167010 08/09/03 11:33 PM
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My H got up from his nap at about 7:30pm today and was restless, as he has been most of the day.
I asked him how he was feeling and he said “I’m feeling antsy.” I asked him what he’d like to do and he said, “I want to ride my bike.” “I told him to go, ride your bike.” He went to check the weather so I knew that he intended to be gone for a long while. As he departed, I told him to enjoy himself. I really wanted to get out and do something fun away from here with him, but I knew that he needed to do something on his own.

It’s scary to let him go with no information as to how long he’ll be gone or where he is going, but I feel that the only way that I can have him, is to let him go. It’s difficult to trust in this thought, but I suppose that it is something that I must learn to accept.

Therefore, for the moment, I’m placing myself in the palm of trust.

I hope that I can be this brave in the future, as I know that it is a matter of time before I will be confronted by a larger challenge.

Jeannine


Jeannine
#167011 08/10/03 06:38 PM
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Hi Jeannine!

So exactly when is your colonoscopy? I mean it IS the weekend still, no? From what I recall it was a one night deal...the stuff they used to use I fondly nick-named "Colon-Blow" (do I need to sue the Dumb and Dumber producers?)...In some ways, the prep is worse than the test itself!

MAKE SURE that you take any sedation pain-relief they offer, ususally it's a demerol/ativan cocktail IV. NICE!

Also, good DBing on encouraging your H to take that bike ride and NOT asking for details. HARD, but GOOD.

Anxious to hear your results!!!

Shiny

#167012 08/10/03 07:05 PM
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Quoting shinybear:
Hi Jeannine!

So exactly when is your colonoscopy? I mean it IS the weekend still, no? From what I recall it was a one night deal...the stuff they used to use I fondly nick-named "Colon-Blow" (do I need to sue the Dumb and Dumber producers?)...In some ways, the prep is worse than the test itself!

MAKE SURE that you take any sedation pain-relief they offer, ususally it's a demerol/ativan cocktail IV. NICE!



The prep is MUCH worse for the colonoscopy!!! I LOVED the drugs, though. It was almost worth getting the procedure done just for them...

#167013 08/10/03 07:11 PM
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Good Luck

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jeannine}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
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