Letting go of the fears

[frank_D]

On reflection I did this more for ME than him. I wanted him to be dependant on me. I treated him like he was unable to do anything himself..

Me too. I'm changing that. She can do things herself and is doing them.

I'm not preventing her scheduled 'visits' right now and she really doesn't come and go as she pleases.

What I AM doing is setting more boundaries for when she IS here on her 'visitations'. And I'm using the 'Separated' word more and more.

It's real. We are separated. She wants a divorce. I don't but it's not my choice. She can have her divorce if that's what she really wants.

It isn't my job to judge or punish her. Just to be real.

[AmyC]

It isn't my job to judge or punish her. Just to be real.

YAY!

[frank_D]

So, a year ago I was bottoming out, crashing slowly. Right about now W had come back from her 'retreat', where the first guy would show up who 'paid attention' to her. She called me every day to tell me she loved me and how she told everyone I was her 'rock'.

In 3 weeks my would come back from Italy and begin her secret affair, and tell me she was done, couldn't live like this any more.

I've been kind of depressed the past few weeks. Life is going to improve and it's because I accept that W does not want to come back.

This is the day it begins.