HiAll, welcome back!!! I don't think you are nutz going to Dallas I think you have an independent spirit. Good for you doing something you want to do. How was the game. I am definitely not a Dallas fan because the OW is a huge fan. Go Giants! Glad you are keeping busy and GAL. You seem to be really detaching. Good idea with the fasting and sacraficing before the holiday. take care
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Just heard from T2L, she is having trouble with her computer and waiting to get it fixed.
She is still in Plan B and no word from her H. Our best wishes and prayers are with you!!! Hang tough
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hi everyone! Sorry for being gone so long! My family and I left for Oklahoma last Tuesday night and got back very late Sunday. I stayed home from work on Monday to help my parents clean out the RV and I was pretty busy at work yesterday and today catching up on stuff.
The trip was fantastic! We had such a great time. I am so glad that we went.
H made no contact to D16 on Thanksgiving. H's mom didn't contact her either. Like mother like son huh? I was pretty disappointed. Not sure if I told all of you that his cell phone got shut off. So even if he did at least call her from OW phone I would have accepted the call so that he could talk to her. But I guess not. Then I found out he went to Colorado with OW AGAIN! He has no money but flies to Colorado?? Unbelievable. From what I found out, OW mother bought him the ticket to go with her. Wow...pretty sad if you ask me.
I got an email Monday morning from H. He asked about D16 and told me the only way to reach him was by email since his cell got shut off, his cable and internet was shut off, and he had no car because it got repossessed. So basically he would rather live like that with OW than with his family. I just shake my head.
If I do nothing with the D, it will be dismissed on Jan 2nd. I have been thinking about this a great deal and the way I have been feeling lately I think it would be best to just let go. A man who cannot take care of himself let alone his kids is not a man at all. He has hurt me more than once. He shows no remorse. He makes no effort to reach out to his D16. He shows no signs of change. It's just not worth it to me. I have met some really great people lately that have shown me that there are good people out there. Good men out there who will treat me with respect and courtesy and dignity. My H milked me to the end and took everything away from me leaving me in one of the worst positions a person can be in.
IDK girls....just me thinking I guess.....
I see everyone is doing well and hanging in there. That is all that we can do right? Take care of ourselves and our children.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
{{{{{{marisol}}}}}}}}}}] welcome back!!! we did miss you. glad you had a good holiday. We all survived. Wow your H is going down the tubes financially. My H's bank acct is down to $9. He is talking about taking money from his savings plan which really annoys me since he is just burning up credit card bills but he has no idea how to handle money financially. I understand that you are ready to drop the rope and move on. It is your decision. My only concern is take some time before you start a new relationship. We are so vulnerable right now and it is so easy to make mistakes because we are lonely. One friend of mine whose marriage broke up a month before mine, has jumped into a R recently and now she is even more messed up. She still have unresolved feelings for H even though she practically hates him. The guy she met is D and his wife was a WAW and he is still broken over the failure of the M.
Tread lightly!
My D15 is now seeing her father. Will see how that goes.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
(((((((HOPE)))))))) Glad to hear your H is seeing your daughter. That is great.
I have been going back and forth on my decision. There is no one else in the picture. I have just met people and have been introduced but no relationships. I know I am no where near ready for that. I still have deep feelings for H. That will take time to heal and diminish so that I can let someone else in when I am ready.
It is just crazy to see how our H's have put themselves in these positions for what? For someone who they will not be able to trust because they entered a relationship with someone who was already married. It is exactly what T2L posted earlier about someone who has an affair lowers their standards and is weak.
Then I read all of these stories from other ppl and their situations and the pain is so overwhelming. Life should not be about pain and suffering and deceit or lies. Life is a blessing, it should be prosperous and fun and fulfilling! We are waiting for our H to snap out of it. Some have waited years. But it took them no time to jump into their adulterous relationships, and leave us, and not look back. Why should we wait? What exactly are we waiting for? We are all beautiful women on the inside and outside. We deserve the best and nothing less. If our H cannot see that then that is their loss. And it will be too late when the fog clears.
Sorry for venting...just a bit frustrated.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
Hey marisol, I agree with you that look at our H's jumping into relationships and some people waiting for years. We know when enough is enough. Since I am really trying to work on myself I am just taking my time and trying to discover who I am after all these years. It took me a long time to start to feel beautiful again and I know that I need to work on the inside also. If I am going to be able to have a successful R in the future I have to make changes within myself. If our H's fog clears and we have moved on it is sad for them. Some days I feel very discouraged and it is so tough just to go to work knowing that I might run into Ow. Did you see the posts for a few days ago that I received an e-mail from someone that wants to expose them. I am walking on eggshells.
You have a right to be frustrated. It is also tough with the holidays also. We pray and support each other.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
T2L, where are you? Did you computer go on the fritz again?? I hope all is well.
Yesterday was an ok day. Heard from our good friend who now works in China. He e-mailed saying how upset he was about our marriage and asking about our D15. I told our friend that I told H that our friend now knew about the A. (only did not tell him it was his coworker.). Our friend asked to stay at our house for a week or 2 during the summer with his family. I told him fine. I go to my weekly meeting and H is there. I semi-ignored him. After the meeting I usually try to walk out with him. But I just got up after the meeting and walked out without even looking at H. I am home later and my phone rings. It is H. He asks was I supposed to pick up D15 from practice. Duh it is 5:25 and she is supposed to be picked up at 5:30. So I said no she is getting ride and H says you never told me today if she needed a ride and you left the meeting quickly (180??) Then I said I got a nice email from our friend, and H says so did I. I said you did and H says well I guess he knows. I said but I did not tell him with who ...yet. H said he was going to e-mail him back..yeah right. Then we talk about finances and H says he needs to take money out of his savings plan. He is basically putting about $1000 a month on his credit card and paying minimum balance. Now he is hitting our future savings. I am pretty aggravated. This OW is a black spider and she wants to be wined and dined. But I plan on taking some from my savings plan but putting it into a CD for each of my daughters to protect some of my savings, then after the new year take another amount out and do the same thing. Trying to balance the financial playing field if H asks for D. Well one day at a time. At least H is getting a reality check on finances and living on his own. I wonder if H is going to try and move in with OW since he is having trouble making the rent on his $1200 apt.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope - I have that same feeling.....H has not paid his father rent in two months...H is living in a rental house that his father owns. I know his father is not going to put up with it much longer so he will have to move but where? The only place would be with his mom in a retirement community or with her. If he goes with her he will loose his son for sure. His son's mother will not allow that. Oh well, nothing I can do but take care of me.
I did not see the post about someone emailing you to expose them. Did you respond? Did they find out on their own? Wow...they would both be fired right?
I was looking through some old emails cleaning my folders up and came across an email my H sent to me last year on 11/21 and it said this: "You are the bomb!! You make me better!! You make me laugh,cry and horny all at the same time!!! You Rock!! I'm the luckest man in the world!! All the guys want a wife like you!! But to bad cause I got her!!! Love you!!"
I thought to myself....wow I read this and it was like I was reading an email he has sent to OW. He said those exact same words about being the luckiest man in the world to OW.
Its things like this that make me think it was all just words and there was no true meaning behind them.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
