LE - Thanks for the advise on the last thread. Sometimes I feel like I'm self destructiing and I don't feel W is conveniently leaving some things out.
Journaling...... W stayed over last night and we talked in bed. W told me the story of OM2 and that he turned out to be a stalker sort of person. That he sought her out in the other world. I just listened and asked a few questions trying to get some detail. I don't think there OM2 is a concern. The eye in the sky tells me everything is good on that front.
W brought up us going to MC. I was shocked. W said, "do you think we need MC". I about fell off the bed. I simply said, "you bring up a good idea". We're still at the point where everything has to be her idea.
W talked about the future, which is good but we both know where we're at.
What bothers me is BFF and OM1. I KNOW FOR A FACT she is leaving stuff out. She just won't say it. I think W not willing to talk about OM1 makes
A That's good. You are making good progress. I like how you handle MC conversation...... As far as for the BFF and OM1, she will tell you when she is ready. She may not ever bring this up again. Will this be OK with you? Can you trust her completely without talking this again? I don't mean to bring out any negativity. I can see this can be in issue down the road.
Keep up the good work.
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
I don't think that W and BFF can remain friend w/ out her being honest w/ me. If she should go out w/ BFF it would be in my mind and I'm not willing to live like that.
A My sitch is far away from where yous is at now. I am not sure how to handle the 'Trust' issue also. I think she will have earn your 'Trust' back by action. Have you talk to her about this subject yet? If not, don't rush. Your time will come. I guess the key is for her to stay completely transparent to you.
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
Well...people have to build on trust...and this going to eat at you until things smooth out. A lot of hard work ahead of you but you be the better person and not like her BFF....forget them...keep that future talk down some....it make stir something up in her head where it will get her to OM3!
Hope everyone has a great thanksgiving. W stayed overnight on Tuesday and stayed at MILs on Wed night. I ate at MILs and visited FIL and my family. It was a great day. W stayed at my house last night, which let to this...
I checked her phone this morning......
Well, here we go again. OM1 WILL NOT leave W alone. He was texting her the day before Thanksgiving and it started out OK, then he started with sexual innuendos and said "you owe me one more". W said, "It aint gonna happen". There was some dirty talk and W participated then backed off". There was some 'code speak' as I call it. Going to have to dig deep to find out what is means.
OM1 said he wishes W "could help him out with his hornynes" and said he was going to "find someone tonight". W said, "wish it was me." This is when the "you owe me one comment came".
He pushes the sexual stuff and W backs off. OM1 made a comment suggested threesome may taken place. He asked her if she was going to be up. I didn't check call logs or pictures. Will need to do that as W plans on staying over tonight. Need to build a timeline to see what is going on.
W says she wants to work on marriage. She cried at FIL's when he said he was proud of W for working on marriage. W looked into my eyes with the look of wanting me and being proud. I looked at her like "I know what you did".
Found out EA was actually PA (more than 5 times in fact). I'm broken. I can't go on with the lies.
I need to detach from this BS. W said that she was going to refrain from OM1 to work on M but he pulls her right back in.
A Sorry on what you found out.... I know you are hurt. I knot this is really frustrating. I know your W lied to you, but I think this is her natural instinct because she is probably shamed and guilty about it. The positive is your W wants to work on the M. My question to you. Can you truely forgive her on all the lies, hurting things that she put you through? Your W made mistakes but that just proves she is human after all. By no mean that I am supporting her actions at all. These mistakes should not define your W. I am pretty sure she is a good person at heart. You need to dig deep and ask yourself. What do you want? What's your ultimate goal?
A. You can do this
NW626
Me:33 STBXW:38 S:3 It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you fight the fight....!!
