T2L, girl you know we are here for you. Remember keep your eye of the target and you have stayed focus. Give it some time for Plan B to sink in with your H. we are with you.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Ok ya'll I'm back sorry for the delay. I didn't get much sleep last night and had to get up for church and gather myself as I had to lead worship in the morning. I left church grabbed a burger and ran straight home for a nice 2 hour nap. So far today no tears. Feeling okay for what it is.
I am proud of myself. I implemented a strong Plan A. I'm a poster child from what I understand. I post on the SAA forum for this plan under the same name Trying2Live. The vets have mentored me through a lot of it. Same type of thing here. But its not a place you would go unless your serious in implementing this plan.
My plan B will be strong as my Plan A. I will NOT come out of Plan B for any reason. Some of the people who post on my plan now say don't come out. There are several people who say they did a lousy half Plan B and I ended up divorced. They say both Plans A and B must be exact.
We did not have a bad visit, It just hit me and the timing was right. He kinda knew it when i handed him the card with the letter inside. He said do I have to go away, and tears fall down my face and I say just read the letter and know that I love you. We hugged and he left. 2 hours later he texted me
I did not respond as then he would not take me serious and think of me as a liar. You can't do this as a half way thing, its all or nothing. Half a plan wont work. At least from hearing those who broke the plan b regretted it.
So tonight I am ok. Judging by the he sent last night its working.
Ok more to come tomorrow...... Thanks for the support guys. Feel free to ask away if I forgot something.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Sorry for not posting in a while. I'm just trying to get out of my funk that I'm in....I'm missing H very much right now and I can't get him out of my head. Every morning when I wake up to when I fall asleep at night I pray for him to come home. I pray for God to place someone else in OW path and to release her from this relationship.
The odd part is when I meditate and focus in on my marriage things happen between them. It's almost like my thoughts and prayers impact their relationship. I've noticed when I don't pray then all I see are ILY's and "your the best" bla bla bla.. but when I pray and focus on what I want I see comments like OW says "if you want someone polite then you should find someone else or go back to the polite people you once had". It's really weird....
H sent D16 a text asking her what she wanted for xmas and to send him a list to his email. She tells me why should I send him anything he's not going to buy me anything he doesn't have any money. She said she doesn't want anything from him anyway. I think that is what is hurting me the most. The relationship between him and her that no longer exists.
One day at a time....
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
{{{marisol}}}} Glad you are back. I know what you are feeling also. I am physically detaching from H, but in my head and heart all day are different scenarios and thinking about him. It is especially tough on the weekends but I am keeping busy but I miss H. does your H send the "ILY's and you are the best" and also the OW -- where was the comment about polite people.
Like you my D15 has no R with her father right now. She has not spoken to him for almost a month. Oldest D is flying in Saturday and being here for Thanksgiving and as of now I think it will be me and my 2 daughters while H is spending it with OW. Very sad especially since H will not see his daughter at X-mas as all. When I was at church yesterday a couple of rows up was a Dad holding his 3 or 4 year old D. She was giggling and kissing him and hugging him and my eyes filled up with tears. How did they go from that to this -- NC with their own kids. But like you I pray for H and I also pray for OW to leave H. I know God is listening to good prayers and hates divorce. Our H's just have to listen and open their hearts again.
But I am working on GAL and really trying to practice DB without my emotions getting involved.
{{{{T2L}}}}}}} {{{{{hugs}}}}}, we are standing with you. You did a wonderful Plan A and now into Plan B it is tough to wait it out while you have been soooo assertive in Plan A. Now go buy paint and do that bedroom you talked about painting. Move move, breathe breathe. I always find painting relaxing and good for the soul. If you want to share -- let us know what your letter said. Hopefully we will be able to use it for future reference. take care. hugs.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
The ILY's are from him to OW and sometimes (not all the time) she will reply with ILY. OW sent the polite comment to him in an email. Looks like they had an argument the night before that spewed into the next day. So in other words she was telling him that she knows when she is rude so if he didn't like it then find someone else or go back to me (since I'm polite). She is just a B#$%H!!!! Sorry for getting angry but it makes my blood boil to try and understand why he would want someone like that??!! This young, ignorant, snotty woman who will never be a mother to his children much less a wife.
I'm going to look for a C in my area. I have to start sorting out my feelings and focus on who I am.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
Hey Marisol! I was wondering about you. reach me at(no spaces): its trying 2 live at g mail dot com - had to write it like that i think were not allowed to share that info.
Anyone else can too.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
T2L, how are you today??? We are for you and with you... what is that scripture "If God is for us, who could be against us"...guess reading the Bible at night is helping and things are starting to stick in my brain.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Yes if God be for us who can be against us, you are correct!
Doing ok today. Made it through yesterday with no crying. Miss him today, but overall feeling pretty good.
Gonna do a bunch of organizing today, vacuum the pool, clean the garage stuff like that to stay busy.
The only benefit of Plan B is I don't have to be perfect and working the plan A all the time, i can breathe for a minute. LOL
It's like when you are trying to plan the visits so you can plan A you want them to come over and its a let down if they cant. so now I don't feel like is he coming is he coming????? Ya know what I mean. I don't expect him so I guess it almost feels better.
Thanks for the support ya'll you guys are awesome.
Marisol did you read my last post before this one(anyone else can too).
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
