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I re-signed up with David Cunningham's e-letters to help me move forward with my life.
Quote:

Scarcity mentality is a state of seeing everything in your life as limited and scarce. It makes you hang onto a bad relationship, bad job, etc., because a bad one is better than none at all, where an abundance mentality is a state of seeing everything as a journey to better and better things, knowing that you can create your opportunities and do what is necessary to reach your goals.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,608
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Originally Posted By: faithisbelieving
I re-signed up with David Cunningham's e-letters to help me move forward with my life.
Quote:

Scarcity mentality is a state of seeing everything in your life as limited and scarce. It makes you hang onto a bad relationship, bad job, etc., because a bad one is better than none at all, where an abundance mentality is a state of seeing everything as a journey to better and better things, knowing that you can create your opportunities and do what is necessary to reach your goals.

FIB

OMG. Wow, a lot of lights just went on in my head. What an insight this is--and how I've been operating!! Thank you.


M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012
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HM..he has wonderful insights. Although many of us are way too late when we arrive here, BOTH..men and women LBS's...need to learn a lot about keeping the interest in an M. Not easy over time. The things we are trying to undo here...creep in on us insidiously. I tell others to remember your changes and put a thousand yellow Post-It notes in your brain to keep a reminder there.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,608
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Originally Posted By: faithisbelieving
HM..he has wonderful insights. Although many of us are way too late when we arrive here, BOTH..men and women LBS's...need to learn a lot about keeping the interest in an M. Not easy over time. The things we are trying to undo here...creep in on us insidiously. I tell others to remember your changes and put a thousand yellow Post-It notes in your brain to keep a reminder there.

FIB

Oh, and I'm big on yellow post-it notes!


M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,035
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There are risks with the new job opportunity. To mention a few:
  • if you leave within 4 years, there is a huge monetary sum that you could be pursued for
  • my L says I may lose time with my kids (job is in Manhattan, 1 hour by train into the city and a period of training out of state)
  • although I would lose getting called out of the house at night, have most weekends off, holidays off, bigger paycheck...I'd be up at 4:30-5am M-F and virtually never be able to do those mundane things during the day that sometimes arise and one could squeeze off

I am seeking some fresh insight with a new CPA in Manhattan on Thursday. I think...this may be a wash. Both L's (biz L's) don't want me to sign based on the monetary restrictive covenant.

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,608
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Posts: 2,608
I'm sorry it's so complicated financially, on top of everything else.


M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,035
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OP Offline
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It's the name of the game HM. Most D's involve financial washout or, at the least,loss of the house. Not all. Most. On the brighter side, most will recover down the line tho' I've heard it takes up to 5 years.

You can have your credit rating destroyed, but, they can't throw you in jail. FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,608
H
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Offline
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H
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,608
Yeah, this is my second time around. Last time I lost the house that I had owned before I got married. It's hard to start over financially after a certain age. Sounds like your situation is a little more complicated than most, tho.


M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,035
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,035
Living under the same roof is not healthy...this far out from filing. Most words that emanate from my W's mouth are negative in some way shape or form.

It was cold the other night. I tried to light a fire in the fireplace.

W: YOU KNOW...that is ONLY GOING TO WORSEN THEIR COUGHS.

It didn't. I said nothing.

I'm sticking with scarcity mentality. If filing turned my W into Megamom...and it persists...then there will be SOME positive that comes out of all this. It took the fear of losing her children.........

FIB


Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,608
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,608
Sounds as if she definitely has scarcity mentality. And a few other mentalities as well....


M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012
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