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Originally Posted By: Livin4ME
That's one of the reasons I say I'm so much better without him. He has made me an option, so why should I make him a priority.


Livin4ME,

I REALLY like that!!

RMG


"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"

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chicki Offline OP
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Journaling,

Why does X feel the need to BUY our kids love??

What make people do these things?

One time I did ask him if he was buying their love & @ first he didnt admit it but then he laughing did admit.

I emailed him we needed to switch schedules by the first weekend of January so that he doesnt get them again for the big holidays.
He didnt want to change until the summer saying he will not be in town the first in January.

Mind you last year when he lied to me about having to change the schedule b/c his buisiness trips ( really went on several honeymoons w/ OW to the islands), I changed it.

I emailed him that I want to take the girls to the circus & his response is- its good yr trying to me a mom and take them places. UGH!

I explained to him what a mom reallly is:

She stays up all nite making sure her sick child fever doesnt spike up.
She cancels her plans when she has a sick child (unlike him doesnt gets in the wy of his fun, fun fun.)
She tries to the best role model and instill good morals and be thier rock.
She tries to keep a stability in thier lives. Be there when they need to talk.
A good parent puts the kids needs first.

Is it b/c he knows no other way to parent?

I told him unlike other moms, I never had the money means to take them everywhere, but I dont need to do that to show them my love.

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chicki Offline OP
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OH....I also let him have it about this past weekedn.

Remember, I stated how him & OW were returning ( I thought to pick the kids up before the game was over)??
NOPE! Yes OW daughter fell & received 6 stiches, to which X and OW went to meet the sitter @ the hospital but then they left my kids and her daughter to spend the night @ the sitters!!! They told my girls they didnt return home until midnite.

Fun, fun, fun, to mister father of the year!!!

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Originally Posted By: chicki
Why does X feel the need to BUY our kids love??

What make people do these things?

One time I did ask him if he was buying their love & @ first he didnt admit it but then he laughing did admit.


chicki,

From my perspective, I think he is overcompensating. He violated his M vows. He left their mother. He left them. He chose to run off and have "fun" with OW INSTEAD of being a H and a father. I think he realizes just how badly he screwed up in several areas. His way of attempting to "make things right" is by buying them things.

I know this is not a revelation to most. But, I had to share my personal thoughts.

Take Care,

RMG


"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"

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chicki Offline OP
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So, D11 has a parent dinner @ her school tonight and since its X visiting nite, I told her she can go w/ her dad. Nope she wants us both there...UGH!

Hopefully he will be late and I won't have to be around him much.

How is everyone today in Db world?

I'm feeling postively good today and I wont let X get to me , I will enjoy our time together no matter what.

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Quote:
Nope she wants us both there...UGH!


That will be my situation most of the time too.

You are putting your D11 first, and that's fabulous. Go, smile, enjoy your time with D11. You can do it, you will be great!

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Well, we went to the dinner and both X and I were running late so we were able to eat at the same time. D7 sat in the middle of us two and we barely said a word to each other. I'm not purposely trying to be mean but I feel we dont have much to say anymore unless it has to do w/ the kids...how sad...

Then it happened..dejavou?
He told me he ran into an old freind (mostly his) but I met her @ our wedding. He updated me about her, but what was coincedental was that the other day I dreamt that he ran into her and she was able to (once again) hook him up w/ a place of his own. He did talk about getting his own place, so will see...

I'm tired my arthritis is acting up this morning.

I hope all you Dbrs had a great weekend!

Tomorrow is my birthday and for the first time I work for a place that we get this holiday off!!!

Awesome! The girls r out of school & I plan to take them to the Veterans Day parade.

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chicki Offline OP
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X had no problem sending the kids off to the sitters last time all day and overnite, but now that I want to take the oldest w/ me out of town for a family event, he wont let me since its his weekend w/ them.

UGH....venting....
I asked him nicely via email too , asked him as my bday wish(sigh)....

It sucks how now thanks to his choices I can no longer be a fulltime mother nor can I enjoy them on the holidays...

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chicki, is there any way he would go for switching weekends with you? That way he is still able to have his weekend with them, just next week instead?


Me- 29
X - 30
M - 7.5 years
Final April 2009
S - 2005
D - 2007


Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.

A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
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chicki Offline OP
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Its just that I'm driving my mom, my sis and my grandad so only one of my girls can fit (barely) and plus the other two are younger & its not as important for them to see their twin cousins that they hadnt seen since they were born.

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