And the fun begins....

[Livin4ME]

Thanks for the info Donna... when D1 goes down for her nap, I'm going to make some calls.
As far as the gf, I know there is nothing really I can do about it. I'm just asking him to give them time. He moved back out 2 weeks ago. He's been trying to have her around them since the weekend he left. They need time to get used to him not even being here ya know?!
And I believe she is truly a mentally unstable person. Not just because of the sitch, but because I have met her and the things she has told me about herself and the things I have witnessed myself are appalling. I mean, really who tells your bf's wife that you hit him when you get drunk and mad?! And that's just one of the things I will be bringing up to the courts when he files his motion for parenting time. I've told him time and time again, come see the kids. Alone. I will leave while he's here. We had that same exact arrangement last time and it worked very well. It's his parenting time, not her's. That's what his fight is for right now. Letting her spend time with the kids.
Thank you to everyone for your encouraging words thru all this. It really helps knowing people have gone thru this and been able to move on and lead successful lives personally and professionally.
Btw...I was served today.

[Livin4ME]

So I just finished watching the best movie! Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. If you haven't watched it, it's about a woman who lives the average life and then finds out she has 3 weeks to live. And she does just like the song says, "Lives like she is dying." It was a great movie and I feel refreshed for my life. Not so much live like I was dying. But just the possibilies that are out there even when things look their darkest.
Highly recommend he movie!!!

[whitelight]

Livin4me,

It amazes me that with what you are going through, you have the strength to come over on my thread and give me a pick me up. You are amazing.

Whitelight

[chicki]

L4M,
I agree I too liked that movie.

I too have to say thank you for helping w/ yr great advice & I've been here longer than you! LOL!

[Livin4ME]

Thanks guys. I'm gonna give you a little secret! Shhh! It actually helps ME when I'm able to help others. Does that make sense?! I know it may sound selfish too. I read other sitch's and I'm able to get other's perspectives. It's hard to describe. It gets my mind off my own sitch. And I feel that if I'm able to make one person smile or have them take a deep breath and calm down or something like that, I feel like I've accomplished something.
I've been talking to a friend on mine alot lately. We've actually been getting closer because of her sitch. (she was having an affair with her H's best friend who are both very good friends with my STBX. Yeah, who'd a thought, I'd be the person she comes to about this!) But we're able to talk about our sitch's and it's quite helpful for me. I don't know why. It just is. And I'm not even giving her advice, I don't have any to give her! I've just been very open and honest with her about the what if's. Would she feel the same if her H treated her like her OM? What happens if it doesn't work out between her and OM? What about her D? What about the families?
My STBX's high school sweet heart did the same thing. Came knocking on my door out of the blue! Hadn't talked to her in about a year. She was having an affair with a married man. She's also married. (again, why in the world did she come to me!!!) I listened to her. Was very blunt and honest with her. And after a while, she came back telling me OM had dumped her to go back to his W. And she had realized her H was doing the exact thing she WANTED him to do. He was being there for her. She realized she did still love him and wanted to be with him. She is now PG with their 3rd child!
Again, I know this probably sounds very selfish of me. But you guys are actually helping me by reading my posts. So thank you!!!

[Livin4ME]

Wish me luck everyone! I'm about to start getting ready for class tonight and it's my Final Practical Draw. No blood and I don't pass the class.
Please pray for me, I need steady hands, a clear mind and blood!!!
(it's phlebotomy class, not vampires!)

[cat03]

on the worst of my pain I starter volunteering and how it helped! yes, helping others is a healing tool that benefits all involved.

Just read your other posts on this thread, wow hon, you truly put up with lots of crap from that man, I pray that the financial aspect is figured out already. And about the scummy ow going through your stuff GRRR! put a lock with a key on that door, 20$ will buy you lots of peace hon, that is just so disrespectul.
Praying for you for great results!!!

[Livin4ME]

Here's a song that means so much to me right now! It is so true!!!

Better In Time - Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice I really didn't know
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the past
I believe it
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even tho I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

[LL44]

May you draw lots of blood!!!

[Livin4ME]

So here's the latest. I came home an hour late tonight. I went to a friend's house to hang out after class cuz I got out early. Granted, I didn't call him and let him know I was going to be late. But he text me at the time I usually get home asking when I would be home. I said I stopped at a friend's house, I'd be home in a bit.
I got home, he had packed up one my comp's. Refused to give it back. He trashed it last year with all the crap he downloaded on it and I'm the one who got it up and running again. I told him I would call the police. He said go ahead and he refused to leave until the police got there. So I called. They came. While waiting for them to get here, I saw that all the stuff that I had packed up for him, ie clothes, and asked him to take with him tonight were still sitting downstairs!!! He only took the computer! And he put it in a different vehicle, so he couldn't even give it back to me when the police asked him to.
So they asked him to leave. The computer is a civil issue, has to be settled in court. I knew that, I just wanted him to leave!!!
And you know why he refused to leave and started all this bs tonight!? Because he talked to his friend who I was with tonight! And his friend mentioned where he was going and who would be there. No, nothing is going on between me and his friend. I stopped at a girlfriend's house, she is seeing his friend. Can we say jealous!? Because his friend hangs out with me. That's why, and they've called me up several times before, even before he left this last time, asking to hang out with me and not him.
And I did awesome tonight! I was one of the first people to do their draws and I got a perfect draw! And then I hung out with some friends, including a guy I'm a little bit interested in (not the one friend, a different one), a couple beers and had a great night until I came home and had to deal with this bs!
AAAARRRGGGHHH!!! Why can't he let me be! He's moved on. I am trying to do the same. Why can't he just let me be! He even brought up our friends. I'm ok with what they're doing but not ok with what he's doing. They're the ones I talked about earlier, having an affair with the best friend of the H. That's their business, not mine. Do I agree with what they've done? No. Am I going to stop being around them because of it? No. She sought me out for advice. What kind of person would I be if I didn't give my opinion to a friend who asked for it? Other people have turned their back on her, she needs a friend right now. That's what I'm being. I've told her I don't agree with it...I told them both that tonight. I've also told them that the affair isn't the problem. It's a symptom of the problem. Would C help them? Maybe. Each sitch is different. I'm not there, I dunno. But you won't know unless you try it. But why does he have to bring them up!? They're not part of OUR sitch!!! If he's going to fight about something, fight about something he knows...not about something that has anything to with us.
Sorry guys, I just had to vent. He tried ruining my good night.