Hey Brandnewday, that wasnt me! But thanks for saying a prayer for me. Mishka is right though. Im in NC. Im doing pretty good today. I went to the fair last night with the kids and My H. We had a nice time. My H even paid for everything! I was surprised by that. I was pretty comfortable with him. He didnt seem bothered to be out in public with me and the kids. We even texted a little back in forth while walking around. Just stupid stuff though.
I told that guy I went on the date with that I just wasnt ready for a second date yet. It just didnt feel right yet. So he said that was cool, and that we could just talk and be friends. That if I ever needed a friend, to call him. So, I feel better about it. Well, in a way, cuz it sure would have been nice to take him out and show him off cuz he was sooo cute!! lol!!
Well, Ive got to go to work!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I dont know if this is a good thing or not, but I have to report it. The OW that has been in and out of my H's life for over the past 2 years, well...she is engaged to her new boyfriend of I guess just a couple of months. Im hoping she will will marry him and move far far away!
Anyway, enough wasted space about her....my H came to tkd last night. Im not sure what he is doing, but he had to mention to me a conversation that he and his sister had. Im sure just to get my response. They were talking about people that are bad off financially. He mentioned that he was glad there were people worse off than him...his sister said "well if you would go back to your wife, you would have a house and money and all that". It bothered him....but its the truth.
I said nothing, I actually just changed the subject and asked how his sister was doing.
Im not sure how to handle this now. How do you know when someone is ready to come back?
Lin, I know you keep saying your H came back too soon, how would you have known when the right time was?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Kissak, Please try to stop focusing on the OW. Her marrying her current doesn't change the fact that your H will use anything and everything to try to suck you back in. He wants your sympathy for a situation that he is responsible for creating.
As far as the conversation about finances. You don't want him to move back in because his finances are messed up. You want him to move back in because he believes in your marriage, he loves you and he wants to see his family restored. Anything less than that and you are just asking for him to move back out again.
He needs to prove to you that he is not who he has been for the past 2 years. He needs to continue with his counseling. He needs to win you back not guilt you into taking him back. Please guard yourself from his pity party tales he so enjoys putting on you. He is nowhere near ready to move back in.
You say you aren't sure how to handle this. Honestly there isn't anything to handle from your end. This has to be all him. It just does. You just continue to live your life and do no harm.
So whatcha got planned for the weekend? Anything fun?
*hugs* ~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
Kissak, Hey, I am glad to pop in and see how well you seem to be doing lately.
I am glad that you tried to date, and realize it may be too soon yet. This is good to see you moving forward despite your Sitch. I can understand that your not ready yet.
You handeled the conversation with your H well. There is no more to handle in regards to it. You know he was looking to see your reaction and you no longer will give him one. This drives them nuts I am sure, but it works wonders for our self composure and with the DBing strategies.
Well, I know you shouldnt dwell on the OW, but it is nice to see that she is out of your sitch.- at least it appears that way. This has to be a relief for you. She will end up getting what she deserves - I am sure karma will sneek up on her.
Well take care and keep up the positive thoughts, TIPPER
Actually I am not dwelling on the OW. I havent for sometime. I just thought I would mention it. After all, she was a big part of our issues over the last 2 years. I dont know if my H knows it or not. Im sure not gonna tell him. Let her do that. But I am not dwelling on it. Simply stating that its funny to see how in love with our H's these OW can be, to just turn around and be so into someone else. I dont know, just thought I would report it.
And I am not giving into my H and his whinning. I have already stated to him that if he wanted me to consider anything, he would have to work his a$$ off for me to even consider it. I havent seen him do anything yet. He is still in counseling. Im not falling for it, simply stating the things he is saying. Even his counselor has told him he needs to come back because he wants to for Us, not money or stuff like that. I think there is still a long road to go. But I like where he is and where I am right now.
I am taking my kids to a fall festival tonight at school. And tomorrow i have a TW party. So, I have a busy weekend scheduled!!
Looking forward to the weekend!!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Hey Kissak! We're going to a Fall party tonight too! Then to 2 of them tomorrow....first one at the movie theatre where they're showing "Horton Hears a Who" for free and then trick-or-treating in town to the businesses. Then off to the night one in a park for pumpkin patch, games, bonfire, and fun. I love it that we're going to be busy finally!
I had a good time with the kids at the fall festival tonight!
I love this time of year!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
They realize things slowly. Maybe the money thing, and that he mentioned it to you, is a small sign that he is waking up a little and seeing the mess he has created.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
