Here shared custody works if you live close to XS and can split the parenting duties 50/50. We could spell out things like childcare and medical cost and all that in the agreement. I think W and I could be friendly enough to pull this off and C says this is almost always the best option for kids. My hope is that kids will prefer my stability to W and OM in the house and stay with me.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
That probably depends on which state you are in. I am in Iowa and joint custody means you figure the support as if the W was the primary custodian, and then figure it as if the H was the primary custodian. Then you net the two numbers and the higher one pays the support.
For me (and this all depends on how you figure the net income - who gets tax deductions, credits, etc)... I figured I'd pay at least $750/month to my W if she had primary and she'd pay me somethign like $125. So I will have to pay at least $625. How the hell is that fair?
Me-39 STBXW-42 together 20yrs M-17 Kids-2 D-18 S-16 Bomb-96 Bomb-2005 bomb- 3/2008 for a year Separated 5/08 Filing in July Today.... Slowly learning a new life!
There is joint custody here, and there is shared custody. There is a difference in KS. Joint means there is a custodial parent and other spouse does pay CS. Shared means no CS and children spilt time equally between both parents, so no need for CS$. My kids need new clothes and W is spending money on Pedicure/Manicure, haircut and color and a bunch of other BS. I indulged on a refurbed MP3 player for S and one for me. I dropped $56 on the two of us for that. The first real thing I've bought for myself since split. I'm scraping to buy gas, and she is living life where she comes first.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Hey LE. good golly I am freezing! I am not ready for this ks cold weather at all. its so chilly and just icky outside, so much for a good monday. yes ks has some wierd things dont we? I have shared of my younger 2 children. I hate the family courts here, they really dont think in the best interest of the child. also here, if you cant agree, you have to be prepared for paying for a mediator. you each pay half of the meeting upfront each meeting. ugh its insane!! how are you doing today? I have no idea how I am. lol, do you know? hehehehe big hugs bud
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
I hope you realize LE, I was mostly joking about the EA (I tend to do that a lot). In all honesty I understand how that "sort-of-EA" could very easily occur after the first affair. I've been there, done that. Although I didn't have an EA or PA, the opportunities were there and I entirely understand the feelings behind it and the desire to have someone to confide in who can understand.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I know the feeling, after bills, groceries, lunches for kids, pitching practice, gas for d18 and myself. I have about 80 bucks or less for 2 weeks. W had 400 saved to fix her teeth, must be so freaking nice. No i have to get a part-time job and be away from the kids who I support take care of daily, make sure there homework is done and supper on the table while i think her comments were, she had a busy schedule this week. Daughter birthday tomorrow, daughter asked for a special home cooked meal, then daughters game wed, then friday she is going with her sisters to get tatoos, but wasnt getting one because she couldnt afford it, i bet she comes back with one, on the back her neck. Cant beleive she would do that. Then sat night shes going OUT with her sisters. This doesnt include the days that she will go to happy hour after work. MUST BE NICE.
Lets see i just realized why i am having trouble GAL. I work 24hrs one day, she stays with them at my house during that time. then the next day im doing the normal dad thing, laundry etc, cooking supper so for everyone so W can come visit kids and eat supper with them for a couple of hours. She leaves, i clean then, make sure homework is done, then its times for bed. The next day it is my full day with them so i finish laundry and the rest of the chores then its time for the kids to come home, then its time to start supper, home work etc then bed time to be able to get up at 4am. Lets see she has most of 1 night and all the next day and night to GAL with OM. Not complaing by any means, i wouldnt change it for nothing. Just realised why i couldnt GAL. Now i know why. WHAT a realization, Ive had alot of them lately.
Last edited by jame38; 10/14/0801:52 AM.
Me-39 STBXW-42 together 20yrs M-17 Kids-2 D-18 S-16 Bomb-96 Bomb-2005 bomb- 3/2008 for a year Separated 5/08 Filing in July Today.... Slowly learning a new life!
