Tim - Not sure how it plays out over there, but believe me, if your not trying to bed someone inside a couple of dates (especially if you've been in their bed twice), they will go off you pretty fast or think your weird. Most people generally sleep with people the first night these days, I did well to wait 2 days I thought !!!
Really!?? Wow, Damn I'm old or I have been out of the game way too long. Have no idea how it works over here or where you are at but it seems to me that it would be much nicer to get to know them and then move on to sex then to jump in bed first and then see if you compatable.
Sorry, showing my age here. If that is how it works then you will have to figure out but I still do not think you should limit yourself to ane women till you find the one you are compatable with.
Mike - How long is the playing sensible going to last with you is what I want to know ??? If you got invited back, would you just say no and go home ?
No..I'm not saying that..I'm saying that if I got invited back then I would take it for what it's worth..It was SEX. I think you thought it may be leading elsewhere without discussing this with her..I mean it had all the makings of a one night stand.. I'm not the morality police brother..I say to each his own..You just need to have your head on straight..that's all I'm saying..
A, I'm not judging you or anyone else that is going out and getting some. All I am saying is I feel, and this is MHO, is that sex changes a relationship and moves it to a different level along with a deeper connection. If your in it to just get laid and thats all that both people want then it is fine. But when one is thinking its more and the other thinks its not that is when someone gets hurt. Again JMHO.
Thanks Mike, for seeing my point of view. I wanted a F*ck buddy! Maybe he thought I wanted more. Although he had acted like he wanted more. It's over now, and I am not hurt, but even though I was disapointed, it may sound funny, but it was nice to be disapointed by someone else other than H. Does that make sense at all???????
It's all fun and games till somebody gets an eye poked out..LOL
I can see why you felt that way..I'd like to have a f**Kbuddy myself..like I said as long as you have two consulting adults who know what's up then I say have at it.. I would
I've definitely been blown out and no, wouldn't of hurt my feelings GM. You say what you see and your right, I probably blew it myself a bit by coming on a bit strong. Hey, I enjoyed her company and thought it was likewise but not hurt by it. Gave me a big boost of the old confidence, got me some (andd it was 2nd date Mike, not a ONS !!!) and I'll be back out sharking this weekend !!! lol
Tim - Im same as you mate, I can't believe it myself, though I guess when you've not really been in the game throughout your dating year (mid 20s onwards) you know no different. I mean, when you 17-21, you normally don't pull to many or you have nowhere to go with them or you end up in a R as you live at home. Now your a bit older, the ladies are older and know the score and it's a different game. Should be fun really, just blooming expensive all this going out !!! LOL
Arthur, you might want to check out "Mars and Venus on a Date". It has some pretty good things in it that might be quite helpful for you know to keep in mind as you get back into dating.
As much as I would enjoy rounding the bases right now, I know that it is going to be so much better for both myself and a nice lady to work our way slowly through relationship stages over weeks or months to the point of having a deep and lasting intimacy. For me, I am still legally married and the current gal I am dating is prim and proper and is willing to wait.
I think that I parked my yacht in hair harbor with the STBXW way too early and I want to try something totally different this next time so as to not let passion control my decisions.
I've been away for a long weekend and I'm just catching up on your sitch. Wow, a lot has happened in such a short time. In light of these changes I think I can speak freely now. I did think of you while I was away (not sure why) anyway I had this new R of yours down as very short lived (well at least you got to purge your lines) also I had STBX as softening, even turning. I think I'm right on the first part, what say you about the second ?
Lan - Bang on the first part and I'll never figure it out. She did honestly seem real keen but hey, it was good to have some time with someone albeit short lived.
2nd part - I've no real idea TBH. She seemed to be softening slightly, but then not really any major dealings with her. Some on Saturday where she was asking a lot, 'telling' me a lot about solicitor, divorce stuff and just trying to bait me but I kept it to the point calmly and left. Also, I couldn't go back now anyway, my head still says it would be right for the boys, but my heart says no. I do not like her, I probably haven't for longer than I realised but stayed for the wrong reasons.
All I want right now is my own place and car, but she is currently not helping me to do the first part. I think this could all start to get messy after mediation on 20th if I'm honest.
She doesn't want me to live with her, she basically wants everything and all her own way. She has this idea in her head that just because my parents have a large enough house, I should move in there permenantly and also have the kids stay over there.
I'm being stubborn re having the boys over as it was something she suggested from day 1 as a permenant solution and it is not. Not for me, my parents or the boys so I will not do it. Yes, I'm missing over nights with my boys, but it is a sacrafice for us for the long term benefit. Others may not get that but I guess that's just a tweak of difference to my sitch.
Oh, I didn't realise I only had 14 days to dispute the divorce petition and that has passed. looks like all that has been thrown will stick, but I'm told that it's just more to have a reason and nothing ever gets filed once it's agreed with who ever. I really don't care anymore, just getting annoyed now that so much stuff, paperwork etc to do for all this and I'm rubbish at all that.
