Your asking a bunch of DAM's with marital problems for advice on women are you nuts.
If we knew anything about what they were thinking or feeling or doing we would not be here.
LOL.....Good point Tim !!!
Any opinions welcome. Ran it past 3 different women and 3 slightly different opinions so it's not just about being a DAM. 1 is like she is sending mixed signals it seems, another is it's probably fine, she's just under the weather and tired and the 3rd is, well, she had a few easy ways out of seeing me last night and didn't then offered to pick me up when I said I'd make my own way over.
Your asking a bunch of DAM's with marital problems for advice on women are you nuts.
If we knew anything about what they were thinking or feeling or doing we would not be here.
DAMN SIR..we are no longer DAMS in the DAM sense...you just don't realize it yet Tim..
we are different now..and different causes attractions that I would have never thought would happen..not in a trillion years..I know Arthur knows what I'm talking about..there is a different air, a different confidence that's given off..and it's attractive..I can see why Arthur brings it here..not only for the women but for the men to think about too..
and just on a side note Tim, when your W wakes up and gets her chitt straight. You won't have to worry about the physical part anymore..I'll wager that..
Arthur, as a XDAM, i'd say forget any mixed messages about the 3rd date, dont dwell on it too much. she wasnt feeling well, and wouldnt be herself. but she did pick you up and you got to see her when she's not at her top self. that took guts for her.
dont think too much into how soon to call, DBing, etc. Ever see the movie Singles? the whole waiting 3 days bit? go with your gut, think about how you'd like it to be, then make it that way. Dont play the games that got us here.
of course, you dont want to be like the bit in Swingers where the main character was trying to leave that message with the girl from the bar - not good.
If you're confused, be honest with her. ask her if she wouldnt mind leading for a little while until you learn her groove. Tell her you want to be a gentleman, and dont want to make the silly mistakes of over-analyzing because of self-doubt. Let her know that its ok for her to say no, its ok for her to say yes, you'll understand and will work with her.
create the habit of open communication, nows the time to form the habits of a good R - YOUR habits. If not for this woman, then for the next.
this is what i've learned for myself.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
My boundaries?? I just want to go out and have a good time. Increase my circle of friends. If something serious slowly developes then I'm all for it..
I just can't go giving all this good stuff out just to be giving it out!!! ROTFLMAO
It's easy to just go get it, just to be getting it. I'm looking for quality people first. Same values..same wants..allt he good stuff comes in time. Slow and patient..while having fun along the way.
You have any good advice on more boundaries AO?? You've been through the fire..Can you help a brother out??
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 10/03/0802:47 PM.
Cheers Ken. unfotunately not seen either film but some cracking advice there.
I'll definitely take on board the not worrying about when she calls next etc, but I'll leave the chat about where were at for a few weeks yet. It's probably just me and would you not think that sort of statement was a little bit scary if said to you ?
She's 32 and very independent and used to a lot of self time and just doing what she wants when she wants. So I guess she will also take time to settle into a R type thing where you don't just say yes to every offer as you want to see the OP.
Mike is bang on with what he's saying though. It is seriously unreal how many women I've attracted in the last 2 months and with so little effort. Once you manage to speak to someone it's easy, but I'm even finding the getting chatting to them easier every time. A smiling happy man having a good time is obviously a vert attractive proposition.
got any more advice on boundaries..something I'm missing??
Know where your limits are and try to be consistent. I'm not saying that there can't be modifications along the way, but you know what you really need and want right now. And it's not fair to tell yourself that something is OK just this once or for a little while (and I'm talking from personal experience and about me....) It's hard in the beginning when things are shiny and new not to get caught up in it.....It took me a year and a half of post D dating to decide I was taking a break for while. (and still not done breaking).
