Well sgctx, let me share with you what I've learned in my brief time in power, I've learned that...um... I've had a very brief time in power. I hope that helps in some small way. Btw, if your computer is smokin' all I can say is SAVE THE KEYBOARD, you can kiss it later!
Btw, I haven't recieved one application for the Queen position yet, what gives? I'm just a sweet little meglomaniac who can cook Chinese. I'll treat you like a real Queen, take you to websites you've always longed to see, I'll email you sweet nothings (and I do mean nothings) each and every night, I'll even upgrade my cable connection so we can do it faster! What's not to love ladies? Post your applications NOW while there is still some life left in the old...typing finger.
Now here's something really funny! Tonight I drove my D over to her mom's because she forgot something. When we arrive all the lights in the house are out, the outside lights are all on and the porch door is locked. Now, when W locks the porch door as well as the front door that always means she's got her little friend in there with her. So, D concludes W is not home. Tonight when D talks to mom on the phone mom informs her that she certainly was at home. What a friggin laugh, she goes through all these precautions every time she has her OW in her home. What a way to live your life, better her than me! It's nice to know that I can live my life without feeling shame and fear at being "found out". She got the life she wanted...lucky her! I almost forgot this one, youngest D says, after getting off the phone with mom, "maybe she was just taking a shower, Daddy" Yup, I'm sure she was, kid!
Wii, thanks for allowing me to vent last night (about x2) on your thread. On the surviving side, I spent about an hour and half on several different phones calls today with x1 as we coordinated getting our darling daughter home for Thanksgiving and lining up her travel plans. Smooth as usual, I'll give x1 credit for trying in the travel planner department, but she does check in with the expert (that would be frequent flyer me) to be sure it makes sense. X1 even thanked me for figuring out x1's last flights and expressed her gratitude on how well it worked out. The point I failed to make (or was distracted from making) last night, when dealing with a WAW or MLCer, they may eventually come around after dealing with their demons. (Not that I figure there is any hope at all for x2). Your quote from STBX is something you should hold on to. Those are very powerful words spoken by her. Very significant as to her mindset - not about you as far as the exit, it was about her if you haven't figured that out. So there are great signs that you will not be/ or are not dealing with a complete nut case. Be grateful. Your dealings with her will smooth out very soon as long as you keep up a positive attitude. Along the lines of your plant lady, I asked a nice looking young lady out a few times over the last year, last minute phone calls from her- "sorry can't make it". I had an extra ticket to a show the other night, figured, oh , why not, so asked her again (remember now this is after four -last minute - can't make it calls). She actually showed up and has thanked me every day since for a great time. So you never know when things change in someone else's life. ( And yes I did have an enjoyable time with her , but my attitude was it was not a date - just a spare theater ticket). So go figure that one. Stuck myself out there ready to get shot down again , only I didn't get shot down. Maybe because of my zero expectations. That little snippet of my life is not to say things are at all rocky with Ms 3M. On the contrary, Ms 3 just happened to be out of the country so I had the spare ticket. Ms 3 and me have got our plans through 2010./ Ms 3M is a great lady I've known for decades and as the roll of the dice would have it,we have a great time together. So, that maybe where you will be a few years down the road - life much better. Just a matter of getting there Wii, and for that matter anybody else reading this. Time and patience. Send me an invite when you become King of the country up north. (I'll bring my own food to the coronation ceremony.) Maybe Atty Tom is just saving up (?), or he's been without power since the big windstorm through Ohio two weeks ago? With the politics and news US media focus on the hurricane through Texas, very few in the country even knew we had a CAT #1 hurricane through Kentucky and Ohio. (Let's see - when did that happen last - NEVER!) We're still cleaning up. Take care Wii, you are getting there. Time for me to travel again.
You are so right GB, a good life is largely a matter of looking at the world as one of possibility rather than one of limitation. We can sometimes get bogged down in our losses and disappointments and stop seeing possibility. Who knows what lies down the road but it usually turns out in whatever way we frame it. Enjoy whatever travel adventure you're off to now GB.
Btw, just to add: Romans 12:12 reads "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" Wise words to all!
Well, my one year anniversary is fast approaching. I'll have been separated for a year, it seems like yesterday that I left...but it isn't. I find myself having some deep and mixed feelings as this date approaches. I realize that I have so much to be thankful for and have had, what can be termed, a successful transition but still, the hurt lingers. After one year the fight to keep my head above water is pretty much done and I stop and think "this is it, this is now my life". In a way this separation feels like a lingering death, there is no tearful farewells, last goodbye's but a R that just lingers on endlessly as we have children to raise together. The other night after trying to take my D to pick something up at her mom's I had a flood of feelings and thoughts as I tried to get to sleep. It's hard to pull into what was MY driveway, find what was MY house locked up like a fortress and know that MY wife is inside being intimate with someone else. Then I drive home to noone who will wrap their arms around me, hold me and let me cry. I'm alone while the W that I loved for 17 years is using OUR home to be with someone else. Hey, it's her place, her right and I know it but emotionally it's difficult even a year later. When does this sh!t end? I know not in one year. I remembered all those years where I sucked up the hurt when my W would go out evenings to be with someone else while I kept desperately trying to save what was left, rebuild it and win her back. I failed. Now, for the past year I have been fighting the good fight, being the good son caring for my father while he battles cancer, being the good Dad, being the good employee, being the responsible, co-operative ex-spouse. I know it's all good but somehow at times still feels so bad. Let year two be one of healing. Later Dbers.
You have been trying so hard to be "the good boy" for everyone else; the next stage is for you to find what you need for you. You have been working on that...and that focus will save you, keep you sane.
I do get the lingering death analogy, though. x didn't like it when I told him that this was worse than if he had died - he didn't get it, and thought that I was wishing that (well, I guess sometimes I did). Anyway, there isn't an ritual in our society to mark this passing. It surprised me, since so many seem to go through it, and it is so painful...
I've been thinking about that, myself. I have read where people have burned or buried a picture (like a funeral), others have written that last letter that never gets sent.... I think I am going to take my rings and make a new piece of jewelry with it. My D's birthstone is diamond (lucky girl), so I'll add a ruby for my S, and maybe some amethyst for me, and make a pendent. I'm hoping that I can get one in the shape of a butterfly, for my "transformation."
What plans and goals do you have for your transformation into the healing?
