I understand your frustrations. And as I've said, I'm a few years down the road from where you are right now. That's why I've posted some of the snippets of my life on your board, to help you understand that it does get better, life does go on. And I also understand your expression of "I failed". It will take a while yet, but you will understand, no, you did not fail. Your spouse had a different agenda, and that's all there is to it. Not that trickie, not that complex, you didn't do it , you did not fail. Just going to take sometime for you to understand it. Likely year two will be one of healing. Hope so. Hang in there but don't wait around for life to begin again - go do it.
No worries Donna, Whatis has always tried to take care of himself through this mess, it was the only way to stay sane! I'm thinking of getting some counselling to try and maybe clean out some of the poison that's still lodged in that wound. It's true, wounds need to be tended to and that's been difficult over the past year. I've been so busy trying to keep my head above water and be there for those who need me, I haven't had time to really look at my pain. It's there and little things often come from nowhere and smack me in the head. Maybe I'm strong enough now to actually take a hard look at my pain, to let myself feel it for a bit and heal from it. We'll see. Tomorrow I'm meeting with the Pastor from the new church I'm attending. It remains very difficult to meet with someone and share what happened to me, especially having to tell another male that I failed to save my M! It's all part of the process, I guess, letting others in and trusting they will be loving. It's a start! Thanks for dropping by
Our XS's fail themselves and their families especially in your sitch. YOU have not failed. Far from it.. you are a survivor and one h3ll of a good person...
Never settle again btw... Ever ! YOU are way too good for that crap !
Get to know you again.. and let him do his thingy . It will get easier as time goes along.. and then harder. then easier.. then.. well you get the picture.
Thanks AT and GB, when I take over the Surviving forum you guys are gonna be my lawyers. We'll do some kind of leveraged buy out thing...start the paperwork, would ya! It sure is a rollercoaster ride, isn't it. I'm a guy who was married for 17 years and is still learning how to NOT be married. Some weeks are so good and others kinda suck...I think that's called life, could be wrong though. Btw, today marks one year as the tenant of this apartment. I guess I'll hold a party, the hamster is a pretty cool dude and he's bringin' the munchies! (I let him bring the munchies cuz he buys really cheapo beer, usually that American stuff) Later Dbers, gotta go, I'm missing the French language debate on TV between all our would be Prime Ministers. I find I get more out of the French language debate because I only speak English..Parteeeey on, Whatis!
I have a confession to make.. I failed the Bar Exam the first time by 1/2 a point the first time. Instead of studying like I should have I learned how to play golf during the summer of 1989 ..ooops !
The English debate is on tonight AND the VP debate in the U.S. Makes for LOUSY TELEVISION!!!
Counselling is good. I really benefitted from it. If you have someone you feel comfortable talking to. I got on well with mine. C with your kids is really helpful too if you think they will open up.
Tom and WII: I thought of you both when I passed Elwood Epps today. Can't think of anything else now since you mentioned it - LOL!
And Webers was SO quiet. Paul Weber was there chatting with the 3 of us in line - LOL!
