Hi lodo, Good Luck with the ...show? Good Luck whatever it is.
I am the bitch now too (you are not the bitch but you know what I mean). Being cruel and keeping contact to the minimum. Why cant I be more... gracefull (sp?)? I wonder.
Dont worry my friend. You emailed her your thoughts and hopefully turned a page. All involved (two) parties know exactly what has happened. The rest is just for show and poor attempts to beautify the picture, ease the guilt and blame someone else (you).
[quote=lodo]My cats brought in an ivy rat last night and I stepped on its headless corpse this morning. Thanks guys! Disgusting ...
Isn't that sweet??? They really, really wuv you!!! My cat brings me her little toy mice sometimes and drops them in my lap and I'm so grateful they aren't real!!!
OK, I've said it before and I'll say it again--you are way too nice!!! I think you should try to stop communications, emails, etc. I know it goes against your nice nature, but I think you need to do that for you. She wants to be friends, and have everying be "nice" for her, but she doesn't deserve that!!! Karen
Oh, yeah, the cats will just love that!!! Actually, my cat gave my dog a horrible scratch on the nose around their first meeting, and they get along a lot better now since Sundance knows who's the boss! They like to nap together on the same couch now, so cute!!! Karen
Hi lodo just checking in to see how goes the battles at work & on the school front??
I agree with the one "K" (kathy?) poster (you have so many!) ... get a dog!
Headed to a professional conference tomorrow through Thursday, will probably take a break from the boards for a few days.
Hope you can find some things to do to relax & let yourself off the hook. Just remember you are awesome for the "lodo" you are now and the "lodo" you are to become.
Peace & hugs Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
I'd love to get a dog, but I'm not around enough to do it justice. Someday.
This AM I did Bikram Yoga. They heat the room up to 105 degrees and then you go through a set of poses. I sweat like a pig, but it was great! Muscles all relaxed and toxins sweated out. I'm going to start going regularly. I left feeling so energized and focused, like the world was bright with possibilities again.
AG - I'm afraid my sitch made me into a morning person. I usually get up at 5:30 and work for a couple hours before heading in. It's actually the most productive period of the day. I'd love to sleep longer, but now the cats expect me to get up and when I don't, they do their best to wake me.
Kat - I'm trying to get back on top. My sitch caused a lot of stuff to slide and now it's all weighing on me. I HAVE to get it done and off my plate. As that happens, I'll be more and more free.
Went to a fun post-Burning Man party last night. Pretty mellow, but met some new folks and possibly a ski buddy.
Hi Kalni! Thanks for stopping by. I've been bad and haven't been over with some wine and olives for awhile. Thanks for the support - part of me felt like I was holding on to past wrongs, but what the he11. If someone wants to be my friend, they need to show friendship.
thanks Karen - yes, I've stopped being nice. Funny, I never thought about it before, but in the past brief A she had, and the ones she was in before I met her, she always said she wanted to be friends with them but bemoaned the fact that they didn't seem to want that. She chalked it up as their problem. Red flags.
She keeps telling our friends that she did a lot of soul-searching and had to do what was right for her. I'm sure she really, truly believes that, because she wouldn't let reality intrude. She needed to shape reality into her decision. I tried really hard to listen attentively, I let her have space, I avoided R talks, I showed support, and when she brought up R, I asked her to tell me what she wanted and to give me the chance to provide it. She said she couldn't return to the R with conditions. Now, all of the reasons she gave for leaving in the first place have become subservient to the fact that she "can't deny her feelings, even though she doesn't understand them" and that she "has to do what's right for her." Sure, there are two sides. I'm sure she feels totally justified. But she never even gave things a single chance, and I find it hard ending a marriage that way. Her sister told me that she doesn't know how to prioritize a relationship and that I did everything I could.
So, it's a new reality, but one that doesn't include me and I'm okay with that because, as Mike said, I AM moving on. It'll take longer for me than her, but I think I'll be more complete in the end.
But enough of her. I've been cleaning all day - blech. Apparently the spiders have moved inside, because suddenly there are a ton of cobwebs. At least the cats have stopped shedding.
Tonight I'm eating the last of the coho salmon - how sad! Summer is so nice - the fava beans, the crab, the salmon, the tomatoes, the chilies, the chard, the peppers, the peas. I got my second round of squash in my veggie box yesterday, along with some potatoes & onions and the first of the small turnips. Uggh - winter is coming.
I have made banana pancakes simply by adding banana extract and some diced up bananas to the mix. It is also fun to use food color with the mix and with scrambled eggs. If you use red, you can make the scrambled eggs look like salmon.
I want to tell everyone how much I appreciate their advice over this past year. It really helped me to vent my hurt on these boards. It also helped for people to offer advice from a perspective I didn't have. Thank you for that gift.
I'm far from healed, but am much better. Perhaps someday I'll even be able to be friends with XW, though I think I need a long period of no contact to make sure I'm completely over our M.
I'm finding this place to be more distracting than helpful, though, so I think it's time to take a break. I'll continue to drop by every now and then, I'm sure.
I am so sorry. I am afraid my very presence on the BB is generating these distrations...
I will stop posting and all this will disappear. I am at a point where I will be fine.
Unfortunately there is this no contact policy on the BB so I cannot post my contact information. If you are able to research your way into finding me - I would love to discuss wine and walking cats with you.
It isn't you and your thread that's distracting. It's me spending time reading threads rather than concentrating on making my life better. I need to not be so absorbed in advice and get on with living.
