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ty whatisis, hope some sense sinks in, he gave her $ a while ago, so of course she isn't going to let him off easy. Yes, this isnt' my fight, I will there as (gulp) a friend -- I never thought I"d actually feel that way, but I think he's actually sorry for what he's done altogether, he actually appologize to me again for the stuff he did, wished it 'd never had happened.
Without meaning anything else I invited him to potluck at church, he came, then to two other places.
He is lonely and hates it, I told him "it is what it is", He does need to find himself all on his own, my "helping" last time around didn't let him mature emotionally , so it's hands off this time, I pray he lets that crazy stop messing with his head.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

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cat03 Offline OP
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and no, i'm not reading ANYthing into any of this, (his talking to me, going out with kids and i today) I know he is lonely and does need to be with people, I just happen to be a listening ear and that's all. I have already found peace with the life i live, if , by the grace of GOd, he is healthy again it wont' mean he'll want back, what with all my family knowing he wanted out of the M, buying his own home and stuff I highly doubt he'd have the resolve to want back.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

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cat, just that you can talk to him and be around him speaks volumes about you. (((cat)))

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hey all, lurker here. I barely post, but I had to come and put this up, perhaps you all can help me a bit.

At this point stbx is at his lowest and horribly depressed, we are not getting back together, i'm just there for him and he is lonely. He, umm, tried to cut his wrists the other day, to cover it up he burned them and people bought his story, but I pulled the truth fromhim, i'm terribly shocked, I've known this man for 13 yrs, he would've never done this. He is beating himself up for all his done, he truly feels sorry for his past but he won't stop putting himself down and believes there is no future nor hope in any way for him, it truly is sad.

I tried to remind him to go to the dr, hope he does, the thing it is he isn't my H really anymore and I don't want to be tied to his rollercoaster again, i'm finally able to be happy, but I can't leave him for dead either.

He doesn't want to be alone and asks to come over now and then, he is still going to church but he looses hopes and thinks nothing is ever going to help. I hope his dr and therapist help him, I know he is hanging on mostly for the kids and does try his best to be a good father.
Fruitcake (aka "ow") wont' return his stuff, he is trying to get away from her but she wont' let him come get his things and won't stop txting him, she decided to go to his place while he wasn't there to drop off his stuff and ... she cleaned the place (earlier on the week she was sending him hate txts and telling him not to come to her place ever) ...she put away his laundry and rearranged the furniture...just sick sick sick.
He believes all the bad stuff she tells him about him (he's inmature a big kid a bad father, etc etc) , he calls me and asks me "am I really like that?" SIGH, why does he STILL believes her?

Sorry, this is getting too long, but I'm trying to still find the fine line between helping him and let him sort it out himself. I truly now see that he left our M thinking his misery was due to me--he has told me a few times now how he wishes this whole thing would've never happen, how he is now alone.

Hugs to all))))))))))) thanks for listening


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

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survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
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Call his doctor and report the suicide attempt to him.


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Yes, yes yes. This is serious and he needs medication and intervention pronto.

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((((((((((((Cat)))))))))

I agree please call his dr. Prayers for you guys


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ick

so sorry cat

call his dr
maybe his pastor/priest????

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cat03 Offline OP
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hey guys, thanks for dropping by. His dr told him to stop the adderall, that it might be the cause for him to be feeling that way.
He sounds better, still sorry for all he's done and wished it'd never happened. Still is'nt facing fruitcake the way he should, but told her something related to what he did in a way to make her go away and leave him alone, she's stopped calling & txting, so it might be it.

I'm still wondering what we are doing, we are planning things together but still going ahead with finalizing separation stuff (his moving his things out, final details on accts, etc)
I am happy the way I am, he has a long way to go, if and when he reaches normalcy he may/may not want me in his life, I don't want to be holding my breath for then. I"ll keep living my life they way I've been doing, I have peace.
Guess we'll know for sure come January, if he still files then I'll stop our "family" outings and keep him at a distance, if i'm to have someone else in my life I can't be seeing him/talking with him as often as now.
Boy, this sure is weird.


Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2

30something
2kids
survivor of S, MLC, A, D
I have peace in my heart, at last.
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Hey Cat,

Sending hugs your way.


Ever

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