It's gonna be a girl!!

[fig]

My uncle is a recovering alcoholic

his wife...not so much

he says he is a grown up
and
he loves going to bars and listening to local bands
he is a drummer and plays in quite a few

i don't drink very much either (for real)

and there are many times that i am the designated driver for my friends because of that

don't feel bad if you want a beer
he doesn't feel bad that he wants a soda

have fun with him

i would say that he seems like a really nice guy and why not keep having fun with him?

if he starts preaching to you about how you shouldn't drink then i would worry

but would you not date him if he didn't like spaghetti and you did?

or if he was allergic to penicillian and you weren't

[Briget]

The issue isn't that he is recovered.But that he drank friday.That was the first time.

I'm just afraid that being around me will make him drink.I make him nervous.Shoot I'm 4 foot 11.How scary could I be.


By the way.I was eating spaghetti when I read your post.LOL

[fig]

hee hee

maybe he was trying it out

he decided he didn't want to

now he won't

you can't be a bad influence without his permission

so...i don't have a gallbladder so i can't really process greasy food...when i go out with my friends i have the choice to eat those onion rings and suffer later or pass

sometimes i eat them
sometimes i pass
sometimes i eat them when they aren't around

i used to smoke
i don't anymore
i have friends that still do
i have a choice to do it or not

i used to do drugs (way before kids back in the college days)...i decided that they didn't help my super depressed state
i stopped
did NA and all that
i went back and hung out with old friends

the desire was strong but i didn't do it
13 years later and i am still good wuithout them

he didn't drink Sunday
so it sounds like he is OK with his decision

by the way
my uncle occasionally has a beer
one
and then he stops

he says it is a test for him

sounds risky but it is what works for him

[Briget]

I sure hope your right.I like what I have seen so far with this guy.Of course I'm overthinking it.We have only been on two dates.LOL

I guess I'm just scared.

[fig]

for sure

we all feel that

its hard because what we thought we knew about stuff was turned upside down and 7 ways from Sunday when our exs bailed and tried to rewrite history

cautious is ok
in fact cautious is healthy

and
enjoy it
and
make him pick up the tab sometimes!!!

[pat44]

Hi Briget:

The issue isn't that he is recovered.But that he drank friday.That was the first time.

I'm just afraid that being around me will make him drink.

I noticed that when I read your post... It is a red flag... A flag that says proceed with caution - but not necessarily rising to the level of run away from him.

That being said - you cannot make him drink anymore than you can make him not drink. The decision to drink or not drink is his and his alone.

I guess this is that part you told me about - dating to get to know what it all means. You can circle all you want - but to get the answers - I think you are going to have to get to know him better. And the other variable is your own comfort level with this flag.

take care,
AG

[Briget]

Yeah I'm not gonna run.But I will proceed with caution.Since I'm not an alcoholic Idon't have experiance with that.I would think that if I was I wouldn't want to put myself in a sitch where I would be tempted.

I don't know.I think maybe I'm using this as an excuse.I have been hurt and don't want to be hurt again.What better way to avoid getting hurt than to just avoid having a relationship all together.

I know me well enough to know he could be flawless and I would find a reason to run.

[KarenMarieS]

Hey Briget
The shoes sound sooo cute! I bet they are fun to wear!

I went out w/ 2 guys when I was dating who didnt drink. I was surprised, not one but two! Both were recovering
alcoholics , well one was, the other said he had just had it w/ drinking got him in too much trouble in the past.

I must admit, and I am not heavy drinker myself, a wine or two at dinner, maybe a tini, ( shut up Jill lol) but both these guys were absolutley ok w/ me drinking while I was w/ them. It was odd at first, one I went out with on/off 6 months, he would have a coke and I would have wine, and after a while, it was natural.

Also one of my BF H dosnt drink and sometimes we all go out as couples and it was odd at first but my bf said nooo hes fine.

I guess it is something they have decided they are going to do and they know they can not let others influence them.
Him drinking Fri. may be something for you to keep your eye open for. It seems there are some people who cant just drink a little.

You like him in other ways? Maybe like you said proceed w/ caution.
Good Luck , let us know!

[KarenMarieS]

oh and C2 is fine. Busy Busy boy at work and w/ the kids, but fine and dandy

[BethM]

I know me well enough to know he could be flawless and I would find a reason to run.

Brig,

Please don't make this a habit. You can't close yourself off. You'll just end up bitter and unhappy, that's not who you are. You're too special for that. Besides, you'll end up wasting years if you're looking for perfect. What is that anyway? I just want to caution you about thinking that all men have uleterior motives because that's just not true.

Just go out and enjoy yourself. There are lots of nice guys out there. Maybe if you got to know this guy better he might be a really nice guy. At the least it never hurts to have another friend.

Love,
Bethie