Thanks to everyone for all the support you've shown me over the last several months while I awaited my day in court.
I won!!!
I got there very early as I knew I'd be a basket case and didn't want to feel rushed. Sat in my car, reviewed my notes and listened to my IPOD.
I saw X and daughter arrive (separately) and watched them walk in. Shortly afterwards I went in and as soon as my D saw me, she started crying. I went over to her (they were sitting together) and hugged her, told her not to cry, it would be OK and for her just to tell the truth. Then, I got up, turned to X and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." And......he looked it!!!
My A came in, I had already called her at 7:30AM to tell her that my D had to appear. She called D over and said, as long as you don't have paperwork in your hand, you do not have to testify. Then Doug's A walked in and handed her the paperwork. My A went to his A and they talked. D was allowed to leave without testifying or witnessing anything!!! My A is awesome!!!
So, the night before, I had gone over all X's documents (which were all chicken scratched on various pieces of paper and made a spreadsheet of what X said I'd paid and what he claimed to have paid. Then, I added things to my list that X had no knowledge of. It was all very neat and organized and legible. I had receipts and documentation to back up everything on my "paid" list. My A loved it!!! It boiled down to the fact that I'd paid $24K and X had paid $26K towards D's expenses.
But........most of X's payments were put on credit cards which have been turned over to collections. I made sure my A brought this out. Soooooooo, my $24K has been paid in case and X's has really paid very little. Plus, I'm co-signer on $26K student loans for our D.
The judge ruled in my favor and actually reprimanded X for not handling his money or his business very well.
It's over and you'll never have to face him in court again. Heck you won't have to face him unless you so choose! I bet it feels good to have this overwith but also knowing that you were in the right.
Yes, I'm glad this part of it is over. However, there's still some things to be done, unfortunately. I still have to actually "collect" the money.
He told several lies in his testimony such as he had no interest in GF's business. Luckily, I had a newspaper article showing that he was an "investor." While he was beating his chest about how he had supported our D financially, nearly single handedly, my A brought up the fact that most of the expenses he incurred to help our D were turned over to collections because he hadn't paid them. She handled this beautifully and X was completely red faced.
The judge asked me what my financial status was and I showed him cancelled checks for things I had paid for, plus doctor bills, ER visits that were paid in full. The only thing I'd put on a card was her health insurance last week because it had to be gotten that day which my D was not aware of for some reason.
During the judge's reprimand to X, he brought out the fact that due to his irresponsibility, unwillingness to get a job, that in actuality, I had paid the bulk of our D's school obligations.
During our M, my X was always totally unemotional. I was the one that would lose it. During our testimonies, I was calm, rational and, most importantly, factual. He was sarcastic, condescending, angry, obviously back pedaling, didn't have his paperwork organized (tho he brought a ton of it), etc.
I'm proud of the fact that I typed up the sheet listing everything we had both paid and according to my A, it was the main thing the judge looked at. It was a last minute thing that I did to make it all more legible. I'm also proud of the fact that it was me that told my A to make sure it was brought out that all of the expenses he had supposedly paid had been turned over to collections for non-payment.
So, YAY ME!!!!
The bad thing about all of this is the R with my D is very strained at the moment. She feels sorry for her Dad and she's always been one to fight for the underdog. I don't know what to do or say to make this better. Sooooooooo, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Jill: I don't think there is anything you can do or say at the moment since you really did nothing wrong. And in time she will realize that too. I think you should just be the same Mom you've always been - someone she can trust. Someone who loves, respects, supports and is always there for her. Time will fix this if you don't apologize for something you didn't do.
Hang in there. This too shall pass. Your D knows the truth. But sometimes the truth hurts.
The bad thing about all of this is the R with my D is very strained at the moment. She feels sorry for her Dad and she's always been one to fight for the underdog. I don't know what to do or say to make this better. Sooooooooo, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Jilly Bean first congrats! Yes you are the winner sugar.
As for your D. Well, please dont' take it personally lovey.
She knows you are the rock, the one always there. She loves her dad, ofcoruse she does. Bless her for having empathy and such a big heart.
They go thru phases our babies, and at many ages, so I have been reading. She needs this phase right now.
Be there for you as you always are, and maybe just listen really.
She knows how you feel about what he has done, and you have every right to feel that way.
She will come around, you know mothers and daughters. We can't live with them and we can't live without them.
HUGS
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
