and so......I told him I was sorry if I came across @$*@$^@ - but that things don't change with him and I expect nothing now. And he said he's changed, but does the same stuff.
He said - he's trying, he's human but overlooks things.
like picking your daughter up on Wednesdays (thankfully I have never told her the "plan" so if he DOES show, she's happy, and not disappointed if he doesn't.
like dropping the check off for day care.
or like dropping the check off for his fund raiser stuff
or.........
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
WE have to get all these babies to meet up one day. To see their pictures, and to see their beautiful innocent faces, I just don't know how they do it.
Blech.
Thank God she has you.
THe post it notes are on those NEON PINK post its in the lunch boxes. MMHMMMM.
Last edited by Lissie; 09/09/0802:11 PM.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
I grew up with the thought that if a woman is stupid enough to put herself in a man's position (such as in his face bitching, screaming and hitting him) she damn well better be prepared to take a man's ass whippin.
This is precisely what my wife would do to me. She would stand in my face scraming and hitting me. 99.99999% I would not react to it and just take it. Other times I reacted, and I told you what those reactions were.
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Over all, I stand by that today.
Yes, me too, talk like a man, act like a man, hit like a man. Get treated like a man.
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A LOT of women are fricken nuts and precious little will make them stand down. Those kinds of women are PUT down. The theory that all men can just walk away is not accurate and my mother is living proof of that.
Your right, I have tried a thousand times to walk away from it. Only to her to get in my face even more. I have countless times when I would sit in my truck trying to leave and she would stand in front of it. She did this at a family picnic, too.
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Anyway, Mrs. LostPhil is only one half of a nutty BUNCH.
No she is completely nuts.
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I get the feeling he ruled with an iron fist and she rebelled with smartass comments and basic passive-resistent behavior.[/qutoe]
Wrong, I gave her full control. I gave her the checkbook. She did the bills. I bought her a house and made it beautiful at every single one of her requests. Remolded every single room. Put on a large addition. Worked my a$$ off. She is the one that ruled with an iron fist. If I went out I had to be home at 10. I was not aloud to watch certain things on TV.
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Then she got the balls to walk out.
Because she is doing what she wants and justifying her actions.
[qutoe]And he can't handle it because he's a control freak.
No I am not a control freak. She is. I can't handle it because she left, she is doing what she wants and she is still treating me horrible. She is a sick woman.
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And severely dysfunctional on all fronts.
Show me a family that isn't dysfuntional.
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It won't be long until that sitch blows sky high.
This is what I'm trying to avoid. I'm trying to keep her calm.
I am really having a hard time understanding how this is being pushed on me. My wife is nuts. All my friends beyond this board know it.
I just find it really sad that I came here for support and it gets turned around that I'm the bad guy.
She was the abuser and still is.
Even this morning she called me up at quarter to nine. She was all frantic. She said I need you to come down here right now and help me get the kids ready for school. My alarm did not go off and now your daughter is going to be late. I told her I would be right there.
I left the house. She passed me on the main road. I threw up my hands. So did she, she was screaming about something, but I couldn't read her lips.
I turned around and followed her to the school. She almost wrecked into someone pulling off the main road. Then she entered the school and parked in the handicap spot.
I got out and said what is wrong with you. She said I wasn't quick enough and she doesn't need me anymore. She said say good bye to your kids. She walked them to the school. She said the alarm didn't go off, I should have never of called you. I told daughter I should have not have called you. The alarm didn't go off, and it has happened before. So I said why didn't you call me back and tell me not to worry about it. You ask me to rescue you and then you renig. I said why didn't you call me when you were driving here. She said I didn't bring the phone.
I said you are in a handicap spot. She said, yeah so what I do it all the time.
I waited for her. I tried to talk to her. She said don't touch me in front of the school. I tried to put my arm around her to console her, because I feel sorry for her.
She is absolutely nuts. I'm trying to project that, and get help. You people just bash me down and turn the story completely around.
Sorry for hijacking this thread. But I don't even feel comfortable posting here anymore. I think I'm doing more harm then good and I'm endangering my family.
She is having fun doing what she wants. She still treats me like crap. She threw away her love for me. Then I have to deal with her anger. She is a mean person.
Phil, First of all if you react to what people in this forum tell you the same as your react in the MLC forum, you'll get the same treatment.
Now, I know that others have probably said this to you in the past.
1. Set up a schedule when you see your kids and stick to it. No deviations unless they are sick or hurt. Period. None.
2. Stop reacting to your W's behavior. You keep saying that she's crazy, yet, you continue to engage her when she acts crazy and it makes you look crazy too. When she starts her BS, hang up, don't return texts, walk away if she's physically there. Just remove yourself from the situation. It may take a few dozen times of you doing this but eventually, she'll get it. Stop allowing her craziness to make you act/look just as crazy.
3. Don't contact her or touch her. She hates you right now and I personally know that if I hated someone I'd go ballistic if they tried to touch me. Let her initiate any contact and if she can't keep it pleasant, do number 2 above.
Phil - no one is saying she was right for her actions.
But until you can admit that your reactions to hers are or were abusive....you won't get past it.
Grapefruit, pizza, language, putting the children in the middle of the fights, not putting their interests first - until you are ready to change those things Phil, nothing will change.
I am a bit surprised to see you here but you are welcome to post as long as you are respectful.
No more "you people, etc." And if you hear the same advice repeatedly, it might be helpful to take a pause and consider that maybe, maybe you don't have all the answers, and maybe you SHOULD try something different.
Work on Phil.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
