Hi all, Need some quick advice. My H has been looking at furnished apts and planning on moving within a month or so. We have met seperately with the MC. Originally he said he had an open mind but is in the IDNLY stage and cannot remember anything good about the marriage. We are meeting together as a couple the first time with the MC. How should I handle this if according to DB I should not beg, plead, tell him I love H etc. I know he is going to be talking about leaving. How should I express myself without going back to "same of the more". Very frustrated. Can anyone give me some suggestions. I have all types of crazy stuff going through my help. Help this newbie who is trying to keep it in control!
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I just ended the Joint MC today - wife was in IDNLY stage, and refusing to give up EA with OM. When A with OM was brought up and confirmed, C stated that joint MC was not going to work and should not proceed until W is willing to work on M instead of R with OM.
He was pretty clear that there could be room for only one R in MC.
It was then pretty easy for me. I already had my plan - (stop pursuit, GAL, wait and see), so I was calm about the whole thing. I thing they both (C and W) were expecting me to protest and try to keep the joint MC going, but I could already see that joint MC was not the answer right now - just put pressure on her.
My advice - keep your DR plan in mind - then don't talk about it. Just remain calm, listen to what H says, agree with his feelings, then move on.
When I was pressed for my feelings, I just said something about "doing a lot of soul searching lately" and "having to make my own decisions"
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
