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quote]
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But he should know me well enough to know that I can read his behavior like a book. I still know him well enough that he can't hide anything from me. It's insulting that he even tries.
[/quote]

Have you told him?

Last edited by nothavingfun; 08/26/08 10:26 PM.
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At the beginning I told him word for word what he said but he would continue to deny or make up some silly excuse. Once I realized that it wasn't going to make a difference I stopped.


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That is a tough one.

I hate to run but the weather is so nice today and I know that wont last long before it snows so I have to take a ride on my cycle.

Hopeful- I want to be strong. Have to be strong and hope I can get longer than 2 weeks on my lrt. I hope you will be thinking of me and wishing me luck. I need a boatload.

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nothavingfun

Snow. Yes I have heard of it.

I know it gets tough. I don't think there is anything wrong with allowing yourself to be sad once in a while, very once in a while, but use it to give you resolve to keep it up.

!!!I am wishing you all the luck in the world!!!


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Role Reversal(original)
WAW now LBS part I & II
WAW now LBS part III(current)
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Hey Hopeful

Just wanted to check in on you.

Me, not having a great day. Really missing. Finding it hard to follow my own advice and what I know I need to do. Stupid heart!

Have a couple dates lined up but not really looking forward to them. Finding myself thinking about the one I really care for.

Did get a little boost yesturday. As you may remember, I am divorced but have come back because of the person I lost after. Well, the 21st would have been my ten year Anniversary. I didn't email the ex like I have in the past. I waited and did it yesturday. Just told her I thought of her. So replied right away and said she was so sad that I didn't contact her on the 21st and she was thinking about me too.

We actually had a talk this summer and I told her what I was going through with the new exgf. I asked her if she still thinks about me and she said everyday. I can only hope that my new ex is doing the same. I know I haven't given her enough time to breathe.

I am hoping though that with all the persuing I did, she will still get curious after a few of weeks of pure no contact. I sure hope the experts are right on that one.

My biggest fear-like everyone else who has pursued-is that I wonder if she is just going to be relieved or make her wonder. We have no reason to be in contact....no kids so I do fear it.



J

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Nothavingfun,

I am sorry you are not having a good day. I was wondering how you have been?

You are still in touch with your XW? And she thinks about you everyday? How do you feel about that?

In the Q&A thread Christa and I both agreed that we were initially relieved but soon discovered that we had made a mistake for different reasons but triggered by our spouses halt to pursuing. I understand your fear. H and I have no children either and little reason to be in contact. Have you tried inviting her to something non-date like; something you plan on doing regardless of if she accepts. It should also be spontaneous, fun and your tone lighthearted.


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Role Reversal(original)
WAW now LBS part I & II
WAW now LBS part III(current)
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LBS: Sep 07-pres.
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Hi friend!! Just stopping by.... \:D hope you have a great weekend!!


hugs
christa


H-32
Me-29
T-10years
M-4yr (10/04)
Me- WAW 1/07
I filed for D 2/07
D put on hold 5/07
H re-files for D 9/08
WOW! trying MC 10/08

"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
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Originally Posted By: HOPEFULinCALI
Nothavingfun,

You are still in touch with your XW? And she thinks about you everyday? How do you feel about that? .




I guess to be honest, there are some mixed emotions. I still run into her friends. Some were aquantinces of mine before we met but not the reason we met. Most of our exchanges are pretty light. The " How you doings" "How are my dogs" things like that.

I wrote her an email a while back about what I was going through with nxgf. Trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why was I always being the one left behind. What was I doing so wrong that women I loved could love me so much and then didn't want to be with me no more?

Never really got any hard answers like you are abusive or condesending, too head-strong. You know something you could wrap your head around and understand. It was, you were a wonderful man, a great husband but I needed something more or different. She also told me she thought about (after the d) if we could have made it work but her answer was no. She couldn't see the changes being made that she needed. She has also admitted I have made them. HA HA.

Anyway, there must be some truth to it because I ran into her best friend last night and she said, she hasn't seen my ex in a couple of years and that she has really changed. This has happened with a few of her friends. (I got the impression, that it wasn't for the good according to how they felt)

I would have never left my wife. Would have continued to try and be the best husband I could for her. But I did find a stronger love after. Maybe because I didn't think I would put myself in that situation again to be kicked in the ----. It took a little while for me to let my gard down too. Not that I didn't have strong feelings, just limited showing them all the time.



Originally Posted By: HOPEFULinCALI
Nothavingfun,
Have you tried inviting her to something non-date like; something you plan on doing regardless of if she accepts. It should also be spontaneous, fun and your tone lighthearted.


I've tried a few times with that. Text her and told her I was taking the cycle out for a ride up in her area and she was more than welcome to join me. Most times she didn't respond. If she did, it just usually said, "have fun". She loved the motorcycle too and hoped that would be the hook.


You know the guys on here see you and cookie, bridge, christa, as white robed wonders. I agree :).


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Not having fun~

"You know the guys on here see you and cookie, bridge, christa, as white robed wonders. I agree :)"

What a great compliment! Thank you. I do not feel like a "white robed wonder!!!"

If you would please call my H...and let him know your thoughts...that would be awesome \:D LOL!!!!!!!! hehehe

take care of yourself
christa

HIC...sorry to jump in on your thread!!


H-32
Me-29
T-10years
M-4yr (10/04)
Me- WAW 1/07
I filed for D 2/07
D put on hold 5/07
H re-files for D 9/08
WOW! trying MC 10/08

"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 44
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(((((christa)))))))))
I'll call your H any time you need.

Hopeful,
I was thinking of another way you could handle the issue of flirting your H does. You say you have talked to him but it has done nothing. OK.

Now this is just a suggestion and you have to be able to make a little change too. You could tell him, -flirt all you want but you come home to me. That way, you are mentally accepting he is going to do it no matter what. He now has permission but knows the boundry. It also shows you are not going to let it bother you. I think if he knows he has permission, the thrill maybe wont be so stong. Its just a thought.

Oh and ((((hopeful))))) hugs to you too.

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