Thank you for accepting my apology. You have no idea how much it means to me.
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In a bit I see my doc about the ADs. I admit I am not a typical down in the dumps depressive. I do feel worn out from 5 years of working VERY HARD on myself, my finances, my education and my family (not necessarily in that order) and when things converge all at the same time, it is overwhelming. It is sometimes hard to muster the energy needed to just get the basics done!
I have been feeling the exact same way lately and I can't figure it out. I have "survived" the D - and while there are normal ups and downs in my life I am okay.
BUT emotionally I am feeling irritable, cranky, reactive, and depressed - and am having a tough time doing very simple things. I feel like there is a void in my life - but I can't figure out how to fill it...
Okay - here it comes - so hard for me to admit... I think I need someone to take care of me for awhile... I just want to drop everything for a little while and let someone else carry things for awhile...
I don't know, please let me know if you figure this one out. It really has caught me off guard.
Glad you had a swell time with your girlfriend, it is good to get away, is it not?
Also glad to hear puppy was 95% good. I have a dog that is that "5%" 50% of the time, he "marks" everything he can, when ever he can. Out door dog but still a major pain in the plants.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Thanks for the concerned note. All I will say here is that in addition to the many experiences that are put in our paths, we are also given free will and a set of gifts and talents to do use or not use to help us along our way. Happy Friday Friends!
It is very interesting to me the way people react to me telling them I am trying ADs. I have only told 4 "real life" people...and the support is split down the middle. The 2 who have known me the longest, my sister and my BFF are very supportive. Sis says "good for you for taking care of yourself" and BFF says " You do not have the energy and full-of-life-ness you once had and should have. All this crap that has gone on way too long has worn you down way too much, and you need to use whatever you can find to help you. The docs just better find something useful quickly!"
My other 2 VGFs were quite the opposite. One said that if I got too hyper "she would hit me" and the other said that I have been able to dig myself out in the past and I should be able to now, as well.
It is true that depression is something I have struggled with my whole life. It runs in my family, tho with Mom there is a strong anxiety component and not sure about my sisters.
This is not something I am doing lightly. I exercise, have a great "real life" support network of friends and the BB here. I do yoga. I journal. I have been in therapy for 5 years! I feel like I have made a concerted effort to get back on track and feel better.
My doctor asked me a few questions and I filled out one of those depression questionnaires. I came out as moderately depressed. Part of the problem is that some people think that you are only depressed if you are sobbing all day long sitting among a pile of trash and dirty laundry. Well, I haven't been that bad...but I am definitely on the scale. (Related to this is a book called "Feeling Good" that has some self-tests to gauge where you might be on the scale, as well as some coping techniques)
I discussed pros and cons w/ my doc. One side effect is decreased libido, which is actually OK for me now, since I am not in a relationship! She recommended Zoloft which is for depression without anxiety. I picked up my supply and will start today. I was told not to drink while on this, so I wanted to wait until today...because drinking was on the agenda for last night due to a certain someone turning (Let's just say...) 30...again! Also recommended to take in the morning since it could interfere with my sleep. I am not so busy the next 3 weeks, so I will be able to monitor my progress.
So off to get the day going...finished my coffee and I should walk the wonder pup.
Oh, btw C2H...marking isn't being Naughty...it's being Male!
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Thanks for sharing that. I think the people that are not so positive, just don't really understand depression and the treatments. Or they also can be the type of persons that don't even believe in depression. I got that in the past. Or they are just plain scared when a friend is hurting and they don't know how to help.
Anyhow, I am glad you went to the doctor and are looking after yourself. Good for you.
I must've missed that too! WOW - you're a whole year older than my firstborn!
Happy happy birthday.
As for the ADs - this is a very personal decision. I most certainly understand depression. I have not suffered much from it but Chuck sure did. He was on ADs and did not do well on them. Someone else close to me has been on them for far far too long and I believe is afraid to try weaning herself off of them. Other friends have used them with much success. If it were me - I'd ask someone I trust who is close to me to help me keep an eye on myself if you know what I mean and trust that person if they tell you that a change is in order.
Besides all that - how is the Peach tree? I LOVE peaches. They don't grow in many places in my country but they do in Niagara! My friend and I took her dog for a walk in a peach orchard last week and managed to salvage some that had been knocked off in a storm. Perfect peaches, but they were on the ground and would have rotted. We put a stop to that.
Hope it all goes well and you can pull yourself through this depression and move forward to brighter days.
The doc was right on with taking it in the morning. Also, don't forget a dose--you will feel lightheaded and generally icky. It did not make me hyper at all. I also didn't see a decrease in libido (unfortunately for me! since I'm not in a R) It intensifies the effects of alcohol.
If it was your birthday, I hope you had a happy one
Good luck to you, SG and a very, very happy birthday!!!
Zoloft was one of the first ADs I tried and it didn't work very well for me. Don't get discouraged if you don't feel better immediately. It actually takes about 3 weeks, I think. Just keep trying them until you find one that works. I ended up on Lexapro and it was great.
My girlfriends and I had a small get-together and we went downtown and watched the Thursday night street performers do fire-dancing! http://www.fire-dancing.com/ Very cool, and it involves whips, chains, balls and hoops!
(Keep your minds out of the gutter!)
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
and the other said that I have been able to dig myself out in the past and I should be able to now, as well.
(Let's just say...) 30...again!