Partner left after 9 yrs - yep, still depressed

[AliSuddenly]

Thanks Mishka..I have a feeling I will still be awake!

I had a fantastic, now world renowned astrologer as my teacher years ago in 1998. He used me as an example one lesson on Synastry - with my chart combined with first the current bf I was living with at the time (a Leo) and then my now exBf who I was best friends with at the time...because on the eclipse in Leo, August 1998, my current ex blurted out that he loved me and wanted to be with me and I was torn. I was amazed, as we were just friends.

In this lesson, autumn 2008 we looked at mine and the charts of the two Leo men and this astrologer said, he could see it wouldnt last with my current bf and the synastry with the other guy was phemononal, but that if we got together, the R would only last 10 years, until the last eclipse in Leo in the series.

And its August 2008, 10 years later and the last eclipse in Leo was Friday - when my bf got told for certain he has to move back to HQ. And since then, he has gone all odd on me, being non-communicative and not bothered about meeting up and I can just tell that something has changed this weekend.

So, I guess I am freaked out that the prediction seems to be coming true. But then we are going to have to have some kind of R, as we own property together and are still friends I guess.

We had our first kiss on the solar eclipse in Aquarius, February 1999. The next eclipse, 16 August 2008 falls in exactly the same spot 9 1/2 years later, except its a Full Moon lunar eclipse and is said to be the culmination of a relationship issue. The final one in the Aquarius series is February 2009.

I guess theres DBing and then theres knowing when you're beat. Hence all the crying this week.

[Purr]

Hi Ali,

Just racing to get caught up on your thread, sorry I've been out of the loop a bit on things. This sounds like a really painful place you've been at. Mixed messages and the whole bit aren't exactly making this any easier, are they?

I want to respond more to what you've been saying, but I need to run; just didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about you. I've been thinking of you.

((((((Ali))))))

Purr

[AliSuddenly]

Thanks Purr, thats very kind of you, I've been thinking about you too but seem incapable of posting anything useful to anyone, except these long rambles. Its like I can see my life unfolding with this horrid inevitability and I'm powerless to stop it. It freaks me out just how much of our R was linked to eclipses.

The lesson I was talking about above, was August 1998 of course. I remember it so clearly as this guy was definite about the 10 year timing. My BFF remembers that for the first couple of years of my R, I was blase about getting M as I used to joke, well whats the point, its only going to last 10 years anyway...

[naej]

Wow Ali thats quite spooky.
I blamed all my "troubles on the millenium and all the hype it got, but my H changed suddenly in Aug 99.
I know alot of people who had real relationship problems about that time mostly older men like my h who had just turned 50.
I guess if you believe astrology stuff it's hard to unbelieve when the forcasts/predictions are NOT what you want to hear or know.
Lots of TLC for you and be kind to yourself.

[ba065]

Hey Ali...just catching up on your posts. Sorry things are a bit confusing right now. Just take a deep breath...you've been here before and seen positive changes....they will appear when you least expect it. Don't be so hard on yourself...you are a strong woman and you can get through this rough patch!

Thinking of you!

BA

[mishka422]

((((((Ali))))))))

I hope that you are not up now. That would mean either you never went to bed or you couldn't sleep and are back up at 5am in front of the computer. I'll hope you have finally gotten some rest.

I find it so eerie about the eclipses and your R. I have never really paid much attention to astrology because I believe that life is what we chose to make of it and that through a R with Christ we can be given direction that is pleasing to Him. I know that my beliefs are not necessarily what everyone here believes but they have brought me a lot of comfort.

What brings you comfort Ali? It can't be a R with another person, even your BFF. It needs to be something that does not rely on the responses of another person. If you rely on human beings to uplift you and help make you happy then you are already doomed for failure. Humans are horribly flawed creatures and can not be counted on. Do you meditate? You need some help finding your center Ali. That would take your focus off of your R with BF and put it squarely back on yourself where it belongs.

What about your art? Are you working on any projects right now? I loved the pics you posted of your art. It's so interesting and deep. What about a new show piece?

Your R with BF is over for now. That doesn't mean that it will always be that way but it is has come to a period. End of sentence. Time for a new paragraph. Live your life for you. Let BF live his. I know you will have to be in contact because of your property but other than that, you need to let him go now and figure out himself. The constant contact with him is only sufficing to keep you on edge. Drop the rope Ali. Drop it, fray the end, and don't look back. Let him climb that rope and re-braid the ends if he so chooses. Your work is done darling. That doesn't mean to let go of the possibility but that does mean to stop living in the past. Let it go. BF is stuck and he's making you stuck.

I know I'm rambling. That's what happens with posts after midnight. I was so tired but I just had to get my thoughts to you. I feel your pain, I understand it completely. I just want you to feel happy again and this dysfunctional R is not going to do it. It would have to be built into a whole new R and that can only happen when your BF gets his own crap together.

((((((((((((((LOVE TO YOU ALI!!!!)))))))))))))

[transformer]

Ali darling,

this is gonna be quick but I think the reason he talks to you isn't out of guilt or feeling the need to care for you. it is because you are the only person he feels comofrtalbe turning to when everything is crappy crap crap. you are more trustworthy to him than his own BMF. that is why he called you and not BMF to talk about his job sitch.

that means A LOT.

and you are NOT BORING. your voice is amazing... your energy is awesome. you are always learning and doing new projects, such a majorly juicy person!!

hang in there, please, I really don't think this is over! maybe the astrologer dind't have the "rebirth of new relationship out of the ashes of the old" category as a possibility when they read your charts, cause that's what I see....

LOVE
T

[AliSuddenly]

Thanks T, and Mishka, and Purr! Been feelign soooo low this week. Just really tearful. Called my C and wil make an appt.

So we emailed a bit today, but at my instigation..we had soem mortgage stuff to sort out. He was ok but sounds distant these days, no "are you ok?" no suggestions to meet up, no "me" on the end. I just can see that its coming to a head and not in the way I hoped. I havent seen him for the past 2 weekends and this weekend hes arranged to do soemthing agaon, so thats 3 - well thats unusual, apart from when he was skiing or France, previously there was only 1 weekend since Feb taht I didnt see him when he was in Cornwall. So, at the mo, we need to meet to sign this lease (sometime in the next week) but so far he hasnt suggested a date to do that. Feeling pretty "eclipsed" right now.

Sorry I cant post, I'm having trouble eating even !!!
Ali xxx

[Maya44]

Ali sweets, try to take it easy. Take care of yourself while going through this still. It totallys sucks, that's a given, but you need to keep yourself healthy at the same time.

[MichelleLT]

(((Ali)))

I know it sucks, but try and do something - whether its exercise, artwork, sleeping, crying it all out, whatever. And please eat. I know it's hard, but take care of yourself. I wish I lived close enough to make you soup.