In a Holding Pattern Waiting for Clearance

[Distressed67]

Just my 2 cents here, & a hijack....sorry Tim, it's late, & I'm getting goofy.

Men don't ask if they're fat because they're in denial. lol

No were not in denial, we know if we are fat, we just do not ask a question we do not want our W to answer. They just might tell us.

Society teaches that a womans value increases with her appearance. No wonder we need constant reassurance. I do have the body of a model, & still want compliments.

......, sorry just picturing a model with a plumbing snake in her hand...........ok moving on here.

Man rules are totally confusing to women. Like...why do guys laugh when another guy gets hurt ?

If we get hurt it is more than likely because we were doing something stupid. We are laughing at the stupid act and not the fact that we got hurt. Also it is our way of asking "are you ok" if the hurt person laughs we know they are fine if they don't we know they are really hurt. Its weird but it is our way of showing concern and the hurt person can get up deal with the pain without feeling self consious or show how much it hurt.

Women with healthy self-esteem want direct communication, & can say things like..."please wash my car", or "I'd like to make love". Women with esteem or self-worth issues go in circles to get to their point because they fear rejection & denial. Women with healthy assertiveness don't need to hold onto things & wait for them to fester & blow. Women with healthy assertiveness handle things quickly, without strong emotional outburst, & don't take things personally.

My W is so confident and independent but when it comes to asking for what she wants she does not. I have gotten much better at knowing the question she is really asking when she says something to me.

Men should always apologize.

I also learnd this a long time ago. Yesterday my W was getting a can out of the cabinets and dropped it on her foot. She stood up and hit me in the arm. I said " I'm sorry its my fault I was talking to you." She said "yea it is." It was a nice exchange. Plus it show she is getting more comfortable with me.

"Do you love me?" is a frightening question for a lot of people. That's why in a healthy relationship we should tell them we love them, every single day. So they don't need to wonder or ask.

It is frightning and if we ever do get our M back together I will tell her everyday and she will never have to wonder about my love for her again.

[Distressed67]

Tim,

I didn't do the letter yet. I suppose it just hits a raw spot, & I'm not ready to face it. Take care yourself, thanks for the laughs tonight. lol

Didn't mean to pry just was wondering how you were doing with reguards to this part of your life. I know it must be very difficult to deal with and wanted to make sure you were all right.

Take care

Tim

[Kenny]

[/quote]

It is frightning and if we ever do get our M back together I will tell her everyday and she will never have to wonder about my love for her again. [/quote]

Its strange in so many ways how life is different for us all. I never stopped telling my w that I loved her. It was my actions and her suspicions re my motives that built the resntment towards me.

Trying hard to match the actions to the words now so that they both convey the same feeling and ther can be no doubts.

[Bridgestone]

Hi Tim,
Just stopping by to see your thread & sitch for abit.

Hope your day has some good things in it!
Peace
Bridge

[Distressed67]

Hi Tim,
Just stopping by to see your thread & sitch for abit.

Hope your day has some good things in it!
Peace
Bridge

Thanks Bridge,

Everything seems to be going smoothly. Hows everthing with you. You have not posted much so I hope all is well with you.

Thanks for asking.

Tim

[smartcookie]

Hey Tim, don't you think Mike & AO gave us all a really great example of clear communication. It's too bad most marriages can't work things through as simply & easily.

[ernest88]

Hey Tim, don't you think Mike & AO gave us all a really great example of clear communication. It's too bad most marriages can't work things through as simply & easily.

Thanks for that. At least I have learned something over the last few months.

[whiskey.tango]

M,

You didn't make a mess of it. I'm glad you took the time to help me to understand.

You've learned a lot in the past few months - it's taken me a few years!

AO

[smartcookie]

No were not in denial, we know if we are fat, we just do not ask a question we do not want our W to answer. They just might tell us.

okay, now I'm wondering... Do men need reassurance ?

......, sorry just picturing a model with a plumbing snake in her hand...........ok moving on here.

I did a lot of work for coca-cola, I have that all american girl (now woman) look, long layered blonde hair and green eyes. I never modeled with a plumbersnake. LOL

If we get hurt it is more than likely because we were doing something stupid. We are laughing at the stupid act and not the fact that we got hurt. Also it is our way of asking "are you ok" if the hurt person laughs we know they are fine if they don't we know they are really hurt. Its weird but it is our way of showing concern and the hurt person can get up deal with the pain without feeling self consious or show how much it hurt.

you know what........that makes sense now. I get it. So, you guys laugh, at first, if the other guy doesn't then you know to call an ambulance ? lol

My W is so confident and independent but when it comes to asking for what she wants she does not. I have gotten much better at knowing the question she is really asking when she says something to me.

It's great that you've gotten better at knowing. I still wonder why she doesn't ask ?

I also learnd this a long time ago. Yesterday my W was getting a can out of the cabinets and dropped it on her foot. She stood up and hit me in the arm. I said " I'm sorry its my fault I was talking to you." She said "yea it is." It was a nice exchange. Plus it show she is getting more comfortable with me.

I never went quite that far, I guess I should. LOL Did you two used to tease & joke a lot ?

It is frightning and if we ever do get our M back together I will tell her everyday and she will never have to wonder about my love for her again.

Cool, another one comes over to the right side.

[smartcookie]

Didn't mean to pry just was wondering how you were doing with reguards to this part of your life. I know it must be very difficult to deal with and wanted to make sure you were all right.

Take care

Tim

Prying, geez Dude (I have 3 boys & all I hear all day long is Dude this, Dude that) , I throw my whole life out here on the internet for you guys to see, don't worry about prying.

I appreciate you asking.

Hugs