Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Thanks folks. It's a little better walking away from this knowing I have done everything conceivable in my power. I am at peace with my actions, not happy with the outcome, but I was starting to see that unless W was going to make some changes, nothing I did was going to mean a thing.
I'm not really excited about being a "time share" daddy, but I do know that the atmosphere will be better when I'm around the kids. The kids will be expecting some changes, hopefully I can implement a few positive ones. Get back to basics. Work on some of the goals in my life. Finish projects that get put off due to "other projects/demands".
((Hugs)) Phoenix. I know you did everything you could, and I hope you ARE staying positive. I like your goals--so what are some of the specific things you're wanting to work on?
Thinking of ya, Phoenix! Hope your week is going well.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Real highs and lows this week. Two birthdays, fun activities but eminent situations. Tonight the young kids "get the news". My mind is all over the board on this one. Perhaps one of the things I have dreaded the most is going to happen, but sitting around waiting for it to happen is just as bad. This weekend I move. After this weekend I become a "time share Dad". I know it sounds hallow, but I've done my best. Some day I hope the young ones realize that.
In a weird way I'm looking forward to having a little bit of peace to get my head back together and to get away. Hopefully, I will be able to take some of them with me when I travel. I hope this is all worth it for STBXW, it's not going to make too many other people happy.
Sounds like it was your birthday? I know it's redundant to say 'happy birthday' at a time like this, but I do wish it for you. Hope you have a good trip to Vegas ... I've never been there, but I've heard it's fun.
Yeah, how come you're moving ... D isn't your choice, so why doesn't your STBXW do the moving? I guess you're trying to make it as easy for the children as possible, which would be my guess (and, the only reason I would understand)?
Sending prayers your way!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Well to answer your questions, yes it was my B-day. Let me just say it would be a prime year for a MLC. W did make her best effort to make it as pleasant as possible.
On the other questions. Yes, the move is so the kids can have the best consistency as possible. In our state the H's get the scraps and of course we're a no fault state. If the W files first, your pretty much at the mercy of the judge. When I went to consult and Attorney, he looked at the papers XW presented, he said tweak this and that, "are you OK with the child support?", sign it and get it done. He pointed out that unless I was wanting to battle for custody (spending/waisting a wad of money), I should just take care of it out of court and us my money for a good down payment on a new house.
He said you are in an area and state that sides with the W and the judge who is female has a pretty slanted track record. Unless the W is unstable (drunk/drugs etc.), your pretty much toast and you would just be handing your money to me. I won't turn it down, but you would be more wise putting it into a new house to restart.
So after we told the little kids last night, I took them to the new place. The kids loved it, and were not too excited about going back over to the old place. So the move is this weekend and the kids were asking when they get to come sleep over. No doubt the kids do love there Dad. I'm sad in a way, but a load has been lifted off.
Do I regret all the effort I put into DB. Not in the least! I walk away knowing that I have done my best to make this work. Also I have left things in the best state I could think of, no bridges have been burned. If XW came to her senses, she knows that the communication is still there and that I will listen to her. What would happen from there? I have no guess, ask me in a year or two.
Hi Phoenix! I hope the move goes smoothly. Will you be living quite close to the children? In the same W?
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yes, I will be close. Same city, 5 minutes away. Got clearance to attend same W, kids were very concerned/please when they asked me about that and I told them that. S9 was very sad that he would not be able to have his bed time routine (reading, puzzles, talking) with his Dad any more. He was pleased when I showed him the area which will be for reading, puzzles and guitar playing in the new place. D6 was pretty devastated, but was relaxed and pleased when she got over to my new place and got to sit with me and her brothers in the hot tub. S12, was P****D, kind of chewed XW out, wanted Daddy and after the visit to the new place, didn't want to go back to the old place.
I think the kids don't want to be apart of XW activities. It's hard for me to just keep my mouth shut and not be negative. But so far I have held my peace. So it's pretty much all over but the move. I hope to never make this "trip" again. For the next while I would say anyone better not be in my earshot and say I think I want a D without working hard at making it work. At that point I would have to quote Mike Myers from "Cat in the Hat", "I'm going to hurt you and it's going to look like a bloody accident". To get a D, in my eyes, you have to earn it and it's not going to be easy.
