PS I should have added that I have been wondering these things because I have never met anyone in 8 years alone who is single or not just exiting a marriage. Maybe it only applies to people in my age range and for those wondering it is the "old" range. Gosh I even filled in a questionaire that didn't have me included! maybe all my contempories died. 55yrs+ is all I am saying or admiting too! lol.
I am totally sceptical about statistics concerning D. So I take them all with a pinch of salt in truth it is impossible to collate that kind of info on the scale needed to get any accurate results.Also just how truthful would a person be when answering? So if 50% of first marriages now fail and 60% of second marriages fail and affairs burn out after 6mths. 80% of mlc ers return and it last 6mths to 2 years. Whilst walkaways rarely marry the affair partner Who is marrying who? Not trying to be cynical here just confused and also am I missing something. Not even going to throw in the God hates D and restores the marriages of those who believe and pray x,y,z, prayers into the equasion. Just for the record I am a believing christian so not knocking anyone for their beliefs.
I hear ya on the stats thing. Stats can be manipulated for sure, but I would say that the divorce rates are pretty close, simply because what I see everyday in my job. I deal with kids and parents, trust me, divorce rates are super high. Why you do see people entering and or exiting marriages is simple, your age. I'm not throwing off on you by saying that, but people over 55 are either in a relationship, widdowed, or been burned enough times to not even fool with it. Also people in that age bracket don't seem to get out a lot to meet people, for the most part. I do know some folks in that age bracket I would love to be like if I am fortunate to live that long. Also, men of that age group tend to find younger women to court. I know a lot of what I am saying is hardly scientific evidence, but I think that is the way it is.
Why you do see people entering and or exiting marriages is simple, your age. I'm not throwing off on you by saying that,
Not too sure I understand this. I didn't mean to imply that all the people I meet are exiting marriages just that given men in MLC are usually having affairs but we are told they don't last and they don't marry them but someone is marrying them for there to be a 60% failure of second marriages. Most of the men I know or have read on this site via LBS posters have m their ow. Maybe have not put my thoughts very clearly.
I smiled at you saying we over 55yrs lot don't get out much. My kids complain I am never in!. I do yoga, dance clases, craft classes and church activities(not always a laugh a minute) plus social invites. Theatre and parties, drinks etc. I just don't seem to connect although I do have fun, Maybe I am just not ready or not trusting enough. I am not unduly worried what will be will be.
I consider myself very lucky to have had 30 years of happy marriage and brought my children up to adulthood in a loving and stable enviroment. Thats a whole lot more than many people have in a lifetime. I certainly agree on the men wanting younger models! Pity they don't know what they are missing, there is alot to be said for fine wine.
Why you do see people entering and or exiting marriages is simple, your age. I'm not throwing off on you by saying that,
Not too sure I understand this. I didn't mean to imply that all the people I meet are exiting marriages just that given men in MLC are usually having affairs but we are told they don't last and they don't marry them but someone is marrying them for there to be a 60% failure of second marriages. Most of the men I know or have read on this site via LBS posters have m their ow. Maybe have not put my thoughts very clearly.
I smiled at you saying we over 55yrs lot don't get out much. My kids complain I am never in!. I do yoga, dance clases, craft classes and church activities(not always a laugh a minute) plus social invites. Theatre and parties, drinks etc. I just don't seem to connect although I do have fun, Maybe I am just not ready or not trusting enough. I am not unduly worried what will be will be.
I consider myself very lucky to have had 30 years of happy marriage and brought my children up to adulthood in a loving and stable enviroment. Thats a whole lot more than many people have in a lifetime. I certainly agree on the men wanting younger models! Pity they don't know what they are missing, there is alot to be said for fine wine.
Now I clearly said that not everyone over 55 was that way, I also said how much I admired the ones who did! Anyway, I do think that you would have to admit that many, if not most in that age category do not go out a lot. At least its the experience that I have seen. Older men do go for younger women, I think its a mortality thing, same for older women going for younger men, a growing trend I might add. As for the WAS marrying the om/ow, I am certain you are correct. I do want to point this out; How long have you been on the boards? 5,6,7 years? How long have these people been married to the OP? 3,4, maybe 5 years? The story hasn't concluded for those people yet. Give it another 2 or 3 years and look again at the survival rates of those marriages. I would wager that they will look like the stats I quoted.
Hi Well last night- H served me I asked him to many weeks ago, but thought he wouldnt do it I still believed my old H was still in there and he still loved me now I only see this shutdown man he looks as if he is ok with it why is he ok--he feels nothing--- while I have had nothing but extreme pain today and last night I am on my way to D land this is my last bit of holding on here comes the rest of the grief I guess I needed this part to really let go as fig said cant hold on and let go at same time I gave it all I had I sensed it was over I am very sad to get those papers like a knife and the things he asked for so uncaring a cold and caulous man peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace, I am sorry. It hurts I know. You will get through this and go on to better things. Take some time to grieve. I actually didn't feel to badly when it came down to it. Maybe I had done all my crying before hand and in away it was a relief to actually stop the second guessing of his every move. Take care.
Peace, I was very sorry to read your posting. Whether you are prepared for the papers or not, it hurts like h@ll. No one wins when a divorce takes place. Do your homework, look at this as a business deal that you need to take care of.
Peace, cry, grieve, do whatever you need to do to come out the other side. Once the dust settles and you are able to see a little bit more clearly, you will come to realize that you were carrying a stressful burden. If the divorce does go through, the burden will be lifted a bit and you will begin to see the light of day again, but it will be gradual. Be kind to yourself during this time.
We are all here for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
