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Nesting update:
Last night with kids. Exchange happens Wednesday at 5PM. Then next exchange is Sat 8PM (I have prior commitment Sat so I offered time to W and she accepted, Hoping for reciprocation when she has plans but I will wait and see). This block with the kids was relaxing. No W = No tension.


_______________________
What do I Really Really Really Want: To continue to understand W better. I am reading all I can, and getting input from as many as possible. How to hold on to your N.U.T.S. was a good read.

Best moments today: Hugs from kids.

Change my mantra: I can get kids to eat healthy food they "HATE". I little firmness with a little reward goes a long way. I can only do this alone. Any other time, others (W, inlaws, parents) undermine my parenting tactics.... S7 ate a bean/cheese burrito to get 2 cookies tonight....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Ready, when my kids were younger, they had to take just one bite of a new food. Then with familiar foods, they had to take as many bites as their age. 7 year old, 7 bites of the food. For years I kept a loaf of bread & a jar of peanut butter on the table. If they hated what I cooked, they could have a slice of bread with peanut butter. They do get tired of bread & pb eventually. \:\)

You sound like a great dad.


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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Originally Posted By: smartcookie
Ready, when my kids were younger, they had to take just one bite of a new food. Then with familiar foods, they had to take as many bites as their age. 7 year old, 7 bites of the food. For years I kept a loaf of bread & a jar of peanut butter on the table. If they hated what I cooked, they could have a slice of bread with peanut butter. They do get tired of bread & pb eventually. \:\)

You sound like a great dad.


Great idea! I will keep this in mind....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Light bulb moment yesterday,

It clicked that I have 100% full control of my life. I have been focusing hard on loosing my kids 50% of the time. I realize now that I have full control of the kids 50% of the time and W isn't able to undermine me.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Originally Posted By: Ready2Change
Light bulb moment yesterday,

It clicked that I have 100% full control of my life. I have been focusing hard on loosing my kids 50% of the time. I realize now that I have full control of the kids 50% of the time and W isn't able to undermine me.


Cool ! Although I don't know how you ever have "full" control of kids. (teasing).


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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Exchange happens tonight at 8PM. Can't wait to see kids!


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
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You must be a happy camper.

Hurray!

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Originally Posted By: Ready2Change
Light bulb moment yesterday,

It clicked that I have 100% full control of my life. I have been focusing hard on loosing my kids 50% of the time. I realize now that I have full control of the kids 50% of the time and W isn't able to undermine me.



Good moment R2C and exactly the way to train your mind to look for what is good instead of bad.

Have fun with your kids buddy.

Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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So today was great.

Woke up later than I wanted, gave kids bath, and found out W took hairdryer (One more thing I need to buy). She is passive aggressive. Oh well her problem. D6 hair dried fine by the time we got to church.

I dressed D6 in a nice black dress. She looked great. I let the boys pick out "church clothes". Church was much more relaxed with W not there. I haven't been for several weeks. Good to see some people. There is a couple there that I want to get to know. They always look happy together. May be good roll models.

We had neighbor kid over and went to a free "water park" for awhile. Good to see kids having so much fun. My back went out last Thursday, so I am trying to baby it and didn't play, only watched. Hopefully it gets back to normal soon. We then went to arcade and the for pizza. S7 is entertaining. He drank 2 glasses of sprite (W doesn't let them drink soda). Anyway first thing he says to W one the phone is 2 glasses of sprite...


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Ready, I'm so glad you had some great time with your kids. You do sound like the party weekend dad !

hugs


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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