Not sure if you should be saying her heart is of stone. Why not try looking at her through different eyes? Maybe you will see things in another light.
Hiya trip
Good to see you around these parts
I was "quoting" something from Scripture there as a way of perhaps explaining my wife's "behaviour"
Quote:
Ezekiel 36:26
"Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Sorry, I was not trying to be preachy or anything - it just made sense to me as I have no other way to really describe her behaviour... in that she's shut me out completely (ala amputee style)
IF it is true my wife is involved with this guy, it all kinda fits = her behaviour from day #1 when she moved out, etc.....etc
Would you mind explaining what you meant by "in a different / another light?"
When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!'
The power of one sentence!
God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favour.
If you believe, send it.
If you don't believe, delete it.
God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close.
If you need God to open some doors for you.... pray for His Kingdom, His people
Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing...
Sorry you had to learn about the affair. I'm even more sorry that their actually was one. Of course, she doesn't see it that way.
It doesn't matter if your wife heard the vows. She'd see it entirely different from you...she'd probably be like, "don't do it."
My question: Why are you paying spouse support and for how long will you be doing that? Can't she get a job? I didn't read your whole story, I'm sorry, so if this was ordered by the court I understand. I just hope it isn't out of some obligation you feel towards her.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
A verse that I came across and comforted me in a similar situation:
Psalm 57:
1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.
Seek Him out, pour your cares on Him. Christ walked the earth and experienced every trial we will.
Hebrews 4: 14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Sorry you had to learn about the affair. I'm even more sorry that their actually was one. Of course, she doesn't see it that way.
It doesn't matter if your wife heard the vows. She'd see it entirely different from you...she'd probably be like, "don't do it."
My question: Why are you paying spouse support and for how long will you be doing that? Can't she get a job? I didn't read your whole story, I'm sorry, so if this was ordered by the court I understand. I just hope it isn't out of some obligation you feel towards her.
Hiya
You're quite right it IS court ordered
Here in South Africa, we have a small thing called a RULE 43 Application - it's "normally" to provide interrim maintenance / support for the wife BUT in our case, my wife used this "loophole" (if I can call it that ) to FORCE me into divorcing her...
Her logic was / IS = that I would rather grant her a divorce than actually end up paying her money every month; i.e: money is more important to me that the sanctity of our marriage vows
My wife earns a good enough salary to take care of herself and her "monetary claims" were mostly bogus and inflated -> you'll have to look back in my thread/s to where that all happened (unless I can dig them up for you :))
Thanks for popping by though
Best wishes & blessings CM
EDITED - sorry, forgot to mention that the court ordered maintenance is ONLY until / IF the "D" goes though
My question: Why are you paying spouse support and for how long will you be doing that? Can't she get a job? I didn't read your whole story, I'm sorry, so if this was ordered by the court I understand. I just hope it isn't out of some obligation you feel towards her.
Whats up CM? Not for nothing but whilst you have been standing for your marriage you were also supposed to be moving forward with your life and what you want it to be without her in it.
Please tell me you did not just sit still and do absolutely nothing all this time?
This news is very sketchy to me CM, what do you base the pregnant thing on?
I am reminded of a man who's family was burned, his home and crops destroyed, and given warts all over his body....... How did his faith hold up?
Whats up CM? Not for nothing but whilst you have been standing for your marriage you were also supposed to be moving forward with your life and what you want it to be without her in it.
Please tell me you did not just sit still and do absolutely nothing all this time?
Hello Ian
Thanks for popping by and your input is greatly appreciated
I'm not sure I understand the question entirely - in terms of my house, etc I've not done much there due to the Legal Damoclease hanging over it BUT interms of my "life" I've nututured a great many friendships through my dancing.
Yes, the dancing has taken centre stage and I see a "career" in the making here and I'm riding that wave until the end
My faih has been rekindled and I assist people where I can in their own relationships & in marriage restoration.
Business is good and we've just employed a new secretary / administrative assistant so that should free up a lot of my time when she gets more proficient
This news is very sketchy to me CM, what do you base the pregnant thing on?
Apologies, I can't expound here yet but for now it "seems" she is indeed carrying someone else's child
I am reminded of a man who's family was burned, his home and crops destroyed, and given warts all over his body....... How did his faith hold up?
Ian
Well, I've kinda lost my entire family and my wife to date so are you saying I'm similar to the story?
My faith is holding out quite well thanks to my support group, etc though
Not much action in my thread so I guess I'll just share one of the emails I received today
Quote:
Moses
Jesus answered, "What did Moses command you to do?" The Pharisees said, "Moses allowed a man to divorce his wife by writing a certificate of divorce."
-- Mark 10:3-4 (ERV)
KEY THOUGHT:
In this Scripture, the Pharisees are able to correctly tell Jesus what Moses said about divorce. In the subsequent verses, Jesus confronts the Pharisees with the truth revealed in their question; they were missing God's central principle about marriage.
It is easy to quote Scripture: living God's truth revealed in that Scripture is much more challenging!
Let's not just seek to know the Scriptures, but let's also commit to know the heart and will of God who lies behind the Scriptures.
TODAY'S PRAYER:
O God, teach me your way, instruct me in your will, and lead me so that I can walk with you each day. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Hard-Heartedness
Jesus said, "Moses wrote that command for you because you refused to accept God's teaching."
-- Mark 10:5 (ERV)
KEY THOUGHT:
What Moses did in allowing the children of Israel a legal means of divorce (see verses 1-4 or yesterday's WJD!) was done only as a concession. It was not God's original plan. It was not what was best for the people involved. It was allowed only because of the hard hearts of the people who wouldn't honor their vows to each other and to God.
In a world where people continue to break their vows, refuse to be faithful to each other, and wound their children, the focus shouldn't become the legality of the concession, but should become a focus on prevention of divorce through healthy and loving marriages and restoration of those broken by divorce.
TODAY'S PRAYER:
God, I ask first that you help me be a faithful, loyal, and loving person who lives up the vows, promises, and pledges that I make.
Second, dear Father, I pray that you use me to encourage others to do the same. Finally, Righteous Father, I ask that you show me the best ways to help restore and encourage those who have been wounded by divorce. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
Leaving the Nest
"'That is why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.'"
-- Mark 10:7 (ERV)
KEY THOUGHT:
One of the key elements of marriage as God designed it is the transfer of dependence from one's parents to one's marriage partner. In the vast majority of cultures, it is assumed that the woman will leave her parents to begin her new family with her husband. Jesus makes clear that the man must leave his parents for his wife as well. They must learn to rely on one another and not their parents. In their differences as male and female, they must learn that the other completes what is lacking as they serve each other and depend upon God.
TODAY'S PRAYER:
Father, I pray that I will live to see a deeper appreciation for your plan for marriage in my culture. Until that day, I pray that those in my family will embody your will in our marriage and family relationships. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
United into One
"'And the two people will become one.' So the people are not two, but one."
-- Mark 10:8 (ERV)
KEY THOUGHT:
Marriage is about two people becoming one entity. Jesus makes this powerfully clear by emphasizing "oneness" four times in the whole passage -- vs. 5 - "joined"; vs. 5 - "two united into one"; vs. 6 - "no longer two but one"; and, "God has joined them." The sexual union between a husband and wife is clearly in view with this context. This is a good and glorious union that is to be enjoyed and celebrated in marriage.
TODAY'S PRAYER:
Father, thank you for your plan about the proper place for sexual intimacy within the security and protection of marriage. May I always honor you in handling my sexuality in holiness, righteousness, and love. In Jesus name. Amen.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
God Joined
"God has joined those two people together. So no person should separate them."
-- Mark 10:9 (ERV)
KEY THOUGHT:
God has the power to make two people one. Marriage is not about a wedding, but about a man and a woman entering into a covenant relationship with God. God is the greater party in the covenant.
The man and the woman give their highest allegiance and commitment to God when they marry. There will be times when their spouse will unfortunately disappoint them or let them down. But, God wants them to remember that their highest priority is not treating their spouse as he or she deserves, but as God would have them be treated. Honoring God in the way they treat each other is the key to marriage as God sees it.
God wants husbands and wives to understand that breaking a marriage apart is an offense against God -- he is the one who makes couples one and the one with whom they enter into covenant relationship. God hates covenants made with him to be broken.
TODAY'S PRAYER:
O God, please give your people a deeper appreciation of what it means to enter into covenant with you when they marry. I worry about all the money we spend on wedding ceremonies when there is so little appreciation for the covenant relationship that begins when a couple is married. Help me, O God, to be a covenant-keeper and a person who encourages others to be loyal to you and the covenants they make with you. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Divorce and Adultery
Later, the followers and Jesus were in the house. The followers asked Jesus again about the question of divorce.
Jesus answered, "Any person that divorces his wife and marries another woman is guilty of sin against his wife. He is guilty of the sin of adultery. And the woman that divorces her husband and marries another man is also guilty of adultery."
-- Mark 10:10-12 (ERV)
KEY THOUGHT:
In a world which takes divorce lightly despite the carnage left in the lives of children, God reminds his people that he takes seriously the sin of divorce when it does not have a basis in your will. He views it as adultery -- betrayal of the marriage covenant that was made with him. He hates it and doesn't want it to happen among his people. Why?
Is it because he wants to limit or punish or harm them? No! Is it because of the damage done to children and their faith? Can this be overcome? Yes. As far as it is possible with us, divorce must be prevented and Christian men and women must learn to make homes full of love, joy, and peace through the power of the Holy Spirit.
TODAY'S PRAYER:
O Father, forgive us and help us. So many people in our time feel the pain of abandonment and loss because a spouse has left them. Others have grown up wondering what they did wrong because a parent abandoned them and their family. Heal our wounds. Heal our land. Pour out your Spirit and restore our love for each other in our homes. Help us, O Lord, find the way back to your grace and power so that we can be a people of solid marriages, loving families, and compassionate ministry. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
Whats up CM? Not for nothing but whilst you have been standing for your marriage you were also supposed to be moving forward with your life and what you want it to be without her in it.
Please tell me you did not just sit still and do absolutely nothing all this time?
Hello Ian
Thanks for popping by and your input is greatly appreciated
I'm not sure I understand the question entirely - in terms of my house, etc I've not done much there due to the Legal Damoclease hanging over it BUT interms of my "life" I've nututured a great many friendships through my dancing.
Yes, the dancing has taken centre stage and I see a "career" in the making here and I'm riding that wave until the end
My faih has been rekindled and I assist people where I can in their own relationships & in marriage restoration.
Business is good and we've just employed a new secretary / administrative assistant so that should free up a lot of my time when she gets more proficient
This news is very sketchy to me CM, what do you base the pregnant thing on?
Apologies, I can't expound here yet but for now it "seems" she is indeed carrying someone else's child
I am reminded of a man who's family was burned, his home and crops destroyed, and given warts all over his body....... How did his faith hold up?
Ian
Well, I've kinda lost my entire family and my wife to date so are you saying I'm similar to the story?
My faith is holding out quite well thanks to my support group, etc though
Best wishes & blessings CM
CM, that story is the story of Job.I am sure you are familiar as it is basically saying that through it all you simply have to keep your faith in God that the direction he is leading you is the one you were meant to take.
the "D" goes though 
so are you saying I'm similar to the story?