Not much to add to what's been said by others. You're doing great. You going out did end up driving him crazy.
I wouldn't read much into his ability to act like the happy family. It's something I've noticed with many of the walk-away husbands.
Anyway, the few things I will comment on: 1) I would be very liberal with the visitation thing. I wouldn't have even said, "you'll be able to go at 7:30" or however you worded it. If it had been me, I wouldn't have been happy with the idea. I mean, you weren't going to be there, so I wouldn't have given him the idea that you'd still like him to leave at the end of the scheduled visitation. Things with a "rigid" visitation feel to them may be part of the reason he hasn't ask for more time. Plus, to be honest, it sucks to ask, kind of like the mom owns them. I would see my kids every day if I could, but I hate calling my ex-w about that stuff. Were I you, I'd probably let him know (if you haven't already) that you want him to see the kids liberally.
2) While staying at the house some of the time is okay, you may want to suggest somehow that he should take them elsewhere for the afternoon. You could kill two birds with one stone (you getting out and having someone to watch the kids) by asking him if he'd mind watching them for a few hours while you ran some errands.
3) You did to a certain extent already, but I'd go ahead and flaunt your stuff when you get any opportunity. The swimming was a great time to do it. You could have switch to a bikini and got in the pool to (or did I miss that you did). Wanting what he can't have is a start (but don't give in should the opportunity arise).
4) Lastly, don't be blatant about it, but guys do like to have their egos stroked a bit. If you think he looks good without his shirt, don't be afraid to tell him so. Compliments, unless it makes him draw further away, are not completely off limits. Just be casual about it. I think it's great that you complimented his plywood idea...us grunting cavemen need our feminine validation.
All in all, I think you are doing well. Obviously, you are more used to being husband free more than most wives, so it isn't quite as hard on you. I'm sure you'd like him to just get off the snide and start showing you his intentions, but you'll just have to be patient.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I am back and glad to find you are your usual self, strong and in control. I know being this way is hard and there are moments when you wish you could quit, but that is normal. Those moments pass quickly, feeling down is human and understandable granted the situation you are in. I admire you. K
I think it will only make things worse--I mean, heck, H's best friend could not get through to him, I am pretty sure someone he barely knows will not either.
May be it won't - make things worse, I mean. I think that my H was looking for approval (or disapproval) of what he's done when he started confessing the A to our friends. And I really appreciated those who went out of their ways to talk sense into him. Of course, he wouldn't listen to them, but it was still sinking in.
((((SMW))))
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
If your husband's friend insists on talking to your H, maybe he should say, "Just wondering, cuz if you don't want her, I have a friend that would be perfect for a great woman like her."
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I am still around--Finishing up this last bit for school---I had to drive 5 hours round trip yesterday and sit through a 5 hour custody, support, and visitation hearing with my cousin.
She won--again--and the jerk ended up having to pay all the guardian ad litem fees ($700) and an additional $350 a month child support on top of what he is already paying. All in all a good day for her.
However, I ended up not getting all my last minute school work done. The prof was so impressed with my papers I have until end of today to finish the little I have left. By tonight, I will be free of school and able to come play again with everyone.
I was up til four am doing the papers and D16 let me sleep until 10:30. I will be back later!
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
All my work turned in and graded! I aced all four of the papers that I had to finish!! I had a couple quizzes that I missed some points on. Finished with a 98.2!
WOO HOO now I get to play until the second week of September!!
I have a ton of catching up to do and I promise I will. I need to go feed my kids and get baths out fo the way early. We are going to veg and watch a movie tonight. I had planned to go to church, but S2 is not seeming himself today--kind of lethargic and cranky. I think he is finally cutting his molars.
I will be back in after everyone goes to bed tonight.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
