my story adventures of a WAW!

[christarn]

i will send it early...doubt he will reply anyway...what if he does? or should i say happy 4th?

[Forrest Gump]

Nope.. No response from you. Good Morning.. Is all that needs to be said.

[christarn]

k, thanks!!

[christarn]

"i am working on the apology."

There is nothing you could say to make this better. Actions are going to be more effective.

I never really apologized for anything during the time i was with him...I don't think anyone in his life has apologized for doing wrong things to him. i can't help but wonder if this "action" would be effective...and speak mountains to him...show him, that i'm not too proud to say that i'm sorry and know that what I did was childish and immature, and acting out of those behaviors?

For him yes.. you are picking up the pieces. For you.. we are starting over. That is what makes this hard.

Starting over from what point...the beginning, where i walked out, now?

What time zone are you..

why the ? about the time zone? what time zone r u?

I guess the nurse in me, has to have all the pieces of the puzzle make sense. Each body system feeds off of the other...kidneys shut down, effects the heart, which in turn effects the lungs...etc etc etc....i need all of this to make sense...i'm ocd about it, it's the one thing i can not control, i am well aware of that...but it is the one thing in my life that is out of control!! if that makes sense?? i'm rambling..tired, can't sleep...time is ticking, alarm is going to go off in 5 hours..yuck!

happy 4th to all
i will be wiping sick people's tushys all day!
thanks FG! I will buy you a box of chocolates!!
christa

[christarn]

Ok FG I sent the good morning text! I guess now its sit bak watch wait n monitor results! I'm drivng 2 work n writing u via my blachberry!! LOL!! Happy 4th!!

[Forrest Gump]

I am EST.

Let the text just sit.. don't answer.

I am going to be with the family today.. but I am thinking about this.. I should have some free time tomorrow night.

I think we are just starting over the more I think about it.. the more it pushes me that way.

You have a good 4th also.

[christarn]

Ok FG he replied...he wantd 2 no who the text was meant 4!! I guess he thot I sent it 2 him by mistake...don't no if that is good or bad...but it got a reaction I do suppose!! Enjoy your day with the family! I'm ready 2 start..2 DO WORK...I haven't waited this long 2 give it all up...so let's get started my friend:)

Thank u
Christa

[Forrest Gump]

"Ok FG he replied...he wantd 2 no who the text was meant 4!!"

So we can take from that he was not expecting it. Now.. you used !! after the last statement.. So.. did he call and ask or text back and ask?

"I guess he thot I sent it 2 him by mistake...don't no if that is good or bad...but it got a reaction I do suppose!!"

Well it was beyond your expectations. Is it the exact thing we were looking for.. maybe.

Now I don't like texting.. its ok.. but you can get so much more done talking to the other person. I use text just to send little bits of info.. my wife likes to talk out the whole day.

How we can use this hopefully is to get him to call. Right now we are just testing and seeing what he responds to.

If I had texted you with that.. and you responded with "who was that for?" I might had said something like.. "You just popped into my mind.. so I said Good Morning."

The general idea is to get him to call you.. or start texting you without you doing it first..

This can factor in at any time. If you are at work and bored.. just send a text that says "God I am bored". The idea is the texts will be centered around non descript stuff.. while leaving the door open for communication from him. Does that make sense? Kinda like something you would send to a girlfriend. Just "Hey whats up type stuff."

Now.. you will need to pay attention to what comes back. We don't want to irritate him.. so if the response's seem that way don't respond. If you are not sure.. post them up.. you will get the hang of it.

Now if things go well and he calls.. again keep things light and make sure you sound happy. I always tell people to smile when they are talking.. it does work. Just simple things centered around the text that brought about the call. If you are busy and can't answer.. let it go to VM.. make sure to call back. When you call back tell him right away.. Sorry I was doing X. And linger for a second. Use your words.. just I guess my thought process.

Something like..

You: Sorry I was in the middle of changing a bed pan. (pause)

1 of two things is going to happen.. silence.. or he will talk.

If you get silence.. then you say.. I saw you called and was just calling back. Whats up with you?

Questions are a good way to talk to someone. It allows you to control where you are going. Again.. use your words.. you just gotta think on your feet.

You do this with the people you talk to on a regular basis.. you just have to learn to apply it to him.

So.. on that note.. lets fire some random texts and see what happens. Keep them reasonable and keep them within a time frame that does not intrude on sleeping, dinner, work. You kinda know his schedule.. so you should be able to fit things in. Now a drawback to this.. could be you might find out he has "someone". This "pushing" can have a bad side. For me.. It has more good in it than bad. If you think we need to modify anything.. let me know.

Remember these are ideas.. and I want you to think on your own to. Don't treat him like the H you left. Treat him as the guy you just met.. that your not sure is really interested.

Starting over is just that.. you go at it from the aspect of you are starting over. You have a clean slate.. he has a clean slate.

[christarn]

FG...I think I am getting what you are saying for the most part!

I tried to apply the principles today. Driving home from work, saw our old boat in the taco bell parking lot right by my house. pulled in gas station to get gas and smokes and curious who H was with...of course he was with PIA! None the less, After fueling up and getting smokes...I left...he was pulling out..he went by fast I think he waved...they were in seperate vehicles...so i figured what the heck...called friendly...up beat cheery...it went to vm, just said, it must be nice to spend the day on the lake drinking beer, while some of us have to wipe tooshies all day!! hope you enjoyed the awesome weather!

i want to be very careful, he gets annoyed very easily...so i am done texting/calling for a while. oh, and he text messaged me back...he doesn't believe in calling!

thoughts about the apology? Here is my idea...no more contact from me for a week or so...then mail it, wait another week or so, then start in on our plans...i'm scared if we start anything, then i try to apologize he may feel as if i am manipulating the situation.

Forrest, I have watched both my parents die right before my eyes...the hardest thing i have ever done, is to watch the man i love more than life itself...walk out of a taco bell with another woman...that being said i am ready to get this right...i am ready to do work and fight to save my R/M.

thank you
christa

[Forrest Gump]

"of course he was with PIA!"

Sorry bear with me.. who is PIA.

"it must be nice to spend the day on the lake drinking beer, while some of us have to wipe tooshies all day!! hope you enjoyed the awesome weather!"

Not so much nice and cheery here. Trust me.. I resemble a DAM. See I would have said something like... "Hey.. nice boat you got there."

"i want to be very careful, he gets annoyed very easily"

If this is a indication of what he hears.. I can see why.

Seriously.. I am going to talk to you straight. I am not attacking you or putting you down. Guy talk.. is just like that. Don't take what I say.. as hurtful.. Just to let you know.. I feel the frustration in your last post. It's OK. This will take a second to learn.

"so i am done texting/calling for a while."

Stick to the plan. You are gonna screw it up. I built that in. So we are OK.

"and he text messaged me back...he doesn't believe in calling!"

Now I am assuming that was on the Good Morning test?

Did you respond?

"thoughts about the apology?"

Yes.. Now is not the time.

"Here is my idea...no more contact from me for a week or so...then mail it, wait another week or so, then start in on our plans...i'm scared if we start anything, then i try to apologize he may feel as if i am manipulating the situation."

You just told me.. you are out of your comfort zone. We are onto something. Trust me.. you follow the directions.. you will be no worse off than you are now. No.. on your idea. IMHO.

"Forrest, I have watched both my parents die right before my eyes...the hardest thing i have ever done, is to watch the man i love more than life itself...walk out of a taco bell with another woman"

Driving separately. If I had a truck.. and she was all that. She would be riding *****. If I had her around for fun time on the boat.. she would be following me around.

I kinda gather.. he may be with somebody. If she was that important.. you would be divorced.

I'm serious.. straight talk now. I won't hold back on you.. I expect the same!



Now..