And so it begins....

[braveheart]

LOL You don't even know the half of it! She has told me in the past to put them in a foster home, give them to whoever will take them, etc. Her parents spent a lot of time with them and after my XW left, they never even said good-bye to them. My kids still ask about them all, I have tried to explain things to them the best that I can, but they still don't get it. I work a job 40 min. from where I live and I put in 60+ hours per week. My mother was helping me watch them, but she wanted more money, which I didn't have to give her, so she doesn't help anymore. LOL and some people on this board want to know why I have such a negative attitude toward people? LOL I am very much used to this type of behaviour, my dad walked off and left us when I was a kid for his "true love" LOL he is still wandering around after all this time. My mother accepts no responsibility for the kids whatsoever. Its tough to say the least.

[Reincarnated]

Please tell me you have them in counseling; otherwise, it may be likely that this cycle repeats itself again in the relationships of these kids when they grow up.
It has to stop somewhere...

[braveheart]

Please tell me you have them in counseling; otherwise, it may be likely that this cycle repeats itself again in the relationships of these kids when they grow up.
It has to stop somewhere...

I have refered them, but they really aren't old enough yet to fully understand what's happening to them. I think it will be benefital when they are a little older. Why does it have to stop somewhere? Families are on thier 5th generation of stuff like this. Society has no boundaries nor responsibilities for anything. Until you see a change in the way people respond to actions like this, it won't stop.

[No_More_Dodo]

You are neither a failure nor a quitter. You tried, she didn't, she's the failure and quitter. Be carefull of jumping straight into a relationship, you are not ready for that yet, as far as her baiting you into fights, I know that one way too well. In time you will simply ignore anything she has to say, as I have done. At this point my XW knows better than to even try to contact me, I will not, nor will I ever speak to her again.

BH,

Some very good points. Would you mind sharing why you feel this way about your exW? I kind of have the same thoughts right now...

Take Care,

NMD

Why do I feel this way toward my XW? Quite simple, 4.5 years ago my sister passed away, she had 2 children ages 2 and 3. My XW would not shut up until I took them away from thier natural father, don't get me wrong, they needed to be away from him, but we were not prepared for this, she had always preached about having children, she couldn't have any. I had always kinda played it down, so to not make her feel bad about not being able to have any kids, but I also knew that she was way too much about herself to raise kids. Anyway, I tried to talk her out of taking them, but everyone, including her family made me out to be an S.O.B. then a little over 2 years ago she decided that she didn't want them anymore or me. They were 4 and 5 at the time. After she left, she claimed that she didn't really want them, she said she only made one comment about them, her family said that I would have ended up with them anyway, I wasn;t the only man in the world to have to raise kids, you name it. LOL In addition to all of that, she has done just about every type of mean despicable thing you can think of to me. I just decided to not speak to her or her family any more. I thought it was best this way, I really don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail for what I might do if I kept talking to them and listening to them run thier mouths about everything. Hope that answers your question. LOL

BH,

I appreciate you taking time to post that for me.

It seems like you, like a lot of people here, got mixed up with the wrong type of person. Many of our sitches are a sad commentary on how people are today. That is just the way it is....

Take Care,

NMD

[braveheart]

You are neither a failure nor a quitter. You tried, she didn't, she's the failure and quitter. Be carefull of jumping straight into a relationship, you are not ready for that yet, as far as her baiting you into fights, I know that one way too well. In time you will simply ignore anything she has to say, as I have done. At this point my XW knows better than to even try to contact me, I will not, nor will I ever speak to her again.

BH,

Some very good points. Would you mind sharing why you feel this way about your exW? I kind of have the same thoughts right now...

Take Care,

NMD

Why do I feel this way toward my XW? Quite simple, 4.5 years ago my sister passed away, she had 2 children ages 2 and 3. My XW would not shut up until I took them away from thier natural father, don't get me wrong, they needed to be away from him, but we were not prepared for this, she had always preached about having children, she couldn't have any. I had always kinda played it down, so to not make her feel bad about not being able to have any kids, but I also knew that she was way too much about herself to raise kids. Anyway, I tried to talk her out of taking them, but everyone, including her family made me out to be an S.O.B. then a little over 2 years ago she decided that she didn't want them anymore or me. They were 4 and 5 at the time. After she left, she claimed that she didn't really want them, she said she only made one comment about them, her family said that I would have ended up with them anyway, I wasn;t the only man in the world to have to raise kids, you name it. LOL In addition to all of that, she has done just about every type of mean despicable thing you can think of to me. I just decided to not speak to her or her family any more. I thought it was best this way, I really don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail for what I might do if I kept talking to them and listening to them run thier mouths about everything. Hope that answers your question. LOL

BH,

I appreciate you taking time to post that for me.

It seems like you, like a lot of people here, got mixed up with the wrong type of person. Many of our sitches are a sad commentary on how people are today. That is just the way it is....

Take Care,

NMD

You hit the nail on the head with that one. That's just the way it is, no matter how much anyone wishes things could be different or we wish people would do the right things, more often times than not, they won't. Its just the way it is.

[one_light]

Hello everyone,

Sorry to hear of that Braveheart. That’s tough man.

As for me, there has been little change in my sitch. The D will be final at 9:00 AM on July 7th. The stbx has started contacting me again. She is showing up at places she knows I will be and being pleasant and actually fun to be around. I know that she is just doing this to lessen her guilt. She is telling me how she loves me dearly and will always keep me in her heart and on like that. She talks about doing particular activities, listening to certain kinds of music, watching less TV, and other various things that I was always trying to get her to do when we were together. WTF! This would be so much easier if she would just be a b*tch, or mean, or whatever. Instead she is being an even better version of the self that I am already heart broken for. I am nothing more than her toy.

Incidentally, I am moving to Panama. We live in a relatively small town and I quite simply can not hang around and watch her move on without me. I am just going to drop off the grid for awhile and re-group. Simply put, I can do anything I want now… so I am.

[cat03]

what a weird way for her to behave, sheesh! perhaps just trying to make you react thus giving her a reason to believe the D should happen? who knows, what a loon.
Wow! Panama, what a big move, heard is beautiful there!

[one_light]

I’m perplexed about her behavior as well. The only thing I can figure is that she feels less guilty if we are buddy-buddy. I had my self all puffed up and convinced that she was not really for me and that I will one day find somebody new that will be more suited to me. Then she goes and shows me a person that I know would give ample opportunity for reconciliation if I only had a chance. It takes Herculean effort not to get false hope from this.

Yeah, big move I know. I have a friend in Bocas Del Toro which is an island on the Caribbean side close to the border with Costa Rica. He has assured me that between gigs and odd jobs I can sustain myself for as long as I want. Like I said, I just want to drop off the grid and figure out some things. Like who I really am for example.

[faithisbelieving]

There is always room here:
French Foreign Legion

OK..just kidding. As long as you are not running away from yourself. Last December, my Xmas card said, "I will always love you and you'll always have a place in my heart".

Balderdash...it's a cop out line for someone who bailed. Stay strong and hold your head up high. Read A New Earth by Tolle and if you make if thru the first 20-30 pages, it helps.
FIB

[one_light]

Wow. "I will always love you and you will always have a place in my heart." Is there a handbook or something?

The D is final 10 days before our anniversary. Not sure if I'm getting a card. Not sure if I'm sending one. If I get one, you can be sure what it will say.

Will check out the Tolle, thanks.