Wow! Another C said the same thing. You know, for some reason I didn't believe her. I want to but right now I haven't given up on him even tho our D is final.
I know what you mean, they tell us one thing & then not to believe another.
I'm like you, HUH???
Exactly. It messes with my head to be told not to believe everything you hear and see when the actions of the WAS are loud and clear.
My H would never have talk to me & acted like that in his right mind. I wonder if he is going to remember any of it. Some say that he won't. It was bad! I do have it on tape when he cussed me out. He didn't know it at the time.
I just keep remember things he said to me that night & it was so terrible!!! I hope H gets out of this MLC soon!!!
I'm so sorry!!! My H rushed things with us, but he was ready to get to TX with the OW. He doesn't even know her!! He has been out there since March 5th or 6th of this year. So, maybe he is finding out what she really is. She has been married 3 times & runs after married men. He doesn't like women like her, or never has in the past. I sure hope he will come to his senses soon.
Do you think there is any chance for you & your H??? I guess I just keep hoping he will realize what we had, she is way out of his league & he has said that before.
I don't hold out for a lot of hope for my M, but yours sounds different than mine. I think yours may be a full on MLC. Your H may be momentarily fascinated by OW, but reality has a way of crashing down. The thing is, it won't happen for awhile. Wish it did.
Thank you for saying that about reality has a way of crashing down. I am still hoping it will be sooner than later. I guess b/c I know this MLC started pretty much in 2005 so he has been in it for 3 years already but he just met the OW in June 2007. I really think if she had not pursued him none of this would be happening right now. She is a snake!!!! I just hope one day he will see that & I hope it will be soon!!! I also think you are right & he is in full blown MCL!!!
I'm so sorry that you don't hold on to hope that your M will work. You haven't been going thru this very long either, so you never know!
Everyone says that even tho we are D'd that it's only a piece of paper & he could still come back! I am concerned b/c of him being in another state!
If the D happens with you, look out for you!!! Get a good lawyer. I did, my H wasn't happy about how things turned out, he said I drained him but you have to take care of yourself b/c they are not looking after our best interest now. They are only looking out for themselves. My H told me he wouldn't respect me if I didn't give him a decent D, well in his mind I didn't. So it does make me afraid he won't come back.
Hi, NLT. I'm poking my head back up above ground and just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. Any new developments in your life? How is the job search coming - I think I'd be a wreck if I didn't have work. It's ironic, b/c I think my job stress was one of the factors in our M falling apart and now my job is one of the more functional parts of my life. How do you think getting a job would impact you and how do you think H wld react if he knew you were working? Not that you shld do anything w/ intent to get a response fr H, but 180s and GAL are big components of DB. They are good for you and may also be good for R - if not this one, then maybe a future one. I'm not meaning to pressure/lecture, just encourage and cheerlead.
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
I'm doing a little better today & trying to get a PMA going around here.
I need to get a job. I haven't been searching as much lately but I'm going to get started soon. That was one of the things my H complained about that I didn't go back to work full time after I got laid off. I worked part time from home & loved it. I was able to spend more time with him but he didn't like it b/c I got to stay home & he didn't. He liked the money coming in!
When he was here in April to get his things, he asked me sarcasticly if I had a job, I told him that I had gone for a great interview that week. He asked me was it in the music business, I told him yes. So he doesn't know whether I have a job or not. I think it would make a difference to him. But with me staying here & not moving back to the state I'm from he knows that I have to work.
You are not pressuring me or lecturing me, I do need the cheerleading!!!
Once I get a job I think it will help me. Right now things are slow in this industry, but I hope I can stay in it. We'll see!
Anyway....Hi nlt! You still around? Have you heard from your ex?
I hope you are doing fine and I still don't have my D yet. Things are not good and I've taken some hard hits financially. But, whatever.....
One thing though, I have stopped caring whether or not my H hates me for "dragging this out." What difference could it possibly make anyway? He's still gone and I don't expect him back anymore.
Hi Kimmie! I actually wasn't getting many post on this forum so I went to midlife but I do still come here & check. I also went to midlife b/c I feel that my ex is in full blown MLC!!!
I actually didn't hear from my ex but I heard about him, he got married to the OW on July 20th! Our D was final April 8th. It just about killed me!!!!
I was very depressed for a while but I just prayed & felt this peace about things. I still haven't given completely up on him b/c I feel he was brain washed, he just doesn't do things like this. I may be totally wrong but I just can't let go right now. I know I probably should but in my heart I don't feel like I can right now. I still can't imagine my life without him.
I'm down this weekend, in 1994 my bother died on Sept. 3rd & last year ex told me he wanted a D on Sept. 6th. So, a year ago tonight, I thought everything was fine. Now a year later & all this just has my head spinning.
