Pinch Me.........

[Phoenixdeux]

How come there is so much drama recently?

If this is solely about two adults having a relationship and everything has been laid out on the table, I just don't see what all this drama is about. In most relationships someone gets hurt regardless of how well adjusted you are.

Ian, have fun with it.

[Jeanette1120]

I am so biting my tongue.

But thats ok.

Amy I will step back.

YOU WOULD ATTACK!!

I do mean this sincerely.

Ian knows what the deal is.

Ian is the one that has to have it on his concious.

Karma Karma Karma

[Phoenixdeux]

Karma Karma Karma

Karma karma drama....

Maybe I have wrote out of turn since there must be something ominous here that we didn't know about. I generalized about relationships post divorce in general terms....and I still think those apply.

[Kman]

I generalized about relationships post divorce in general terms....and I still think those apply.

I agree! And, I think that although it's Ian who is the center of this discussion, it's an interesting topic and discussion in general terms, especially for this forum, which is why I wanted to weigh in in the first place. It's also why THIS is the appropriate place and not offline with anyone other than Ian.

The suggestion of discussing Ian's situation with you - something I have zero interest in doing, by the way - was just bizarre to me Jeanette.

Again, I may disagree with some of the opinions here but it all makes for a good debate on a topic near and dear to many of us following the "Big D."

Kev

[Reincarnated]

I feel like I am missing out on some secret club or society thing, myself.

Ian, have a GREAT time with your girlfriend, and know that you are an awesome father with very normal feelings. Use them to guide the amount of time and attention you give each facet of your life. It is all about balance.

[pat44]

I just posted the exact same thing - and just deleted it. I find myself checking this thread out of a morbid sense of curiosity wondering about The Big Secret....

I am ready to start a thread - Top 10 possible super secret hush hush reasons why Ian should not date his GF.

take care,
AG

[Jeanette1120]

Ok, I re-read my post.

I did not mean for you to discuss Ian's personal stuff. Although yes it does look like that....SORRY!

It was more of a generic discussion of dating and dating people from the bulletin board who have not healed.

Can't blame it on the edit button either. Damn!

Most people know how I feel about bb reltationships, I don't happen to agree with them. But thats just my opinion. Yes, I know there are happy couples formed, and an impending marriage. But I have seen more hurt than good come from them.

I do feel that a person needs to heal from thier own divorce tradgedies before forging ahead, especially if that person is from this bb and has not healed themself!


Now is not the time to get involved with another, especially if that person has not healed from thier recent divorce and the other person just finalized thiers.

It will only lead to more hurting.

It's time to heal, not hurt.

Jeanette

[Jeanette1120]

I am not talking about Ian's girlfriend at his job.

[fig]

Maybe the drama about this should just end

there are clearly parts of the story that many people have heard many different versions of

i was privy to one
maybe someone else heard a different stroy with some of the same parts but different parts may have been highlighted.

all I know is that it seems to me that there are many different stories flying around here and I guess it is up to Ian to decide what or who to listen to.

I am not high-fiving
there are some things I am concerned about
people getting hurt is a real possibility

everyone has to live with their own conscience

does that make sense

but

how about the fact that there will be people who agree
people who don't

and I will keep my flaming emails between those involved

[brandnewday]

Isn't it strange that so many people have found themselves entangled in an EA with someone on this board.

I am willing to bet that 99.9% of them never ever intentionally wanted it to happen.

But us peeps understand one another's pain.

Many of us have been on the phone with one another for hours at a time, sharing one another's burdens.

We chat on IM, we sent texts and emails, and some of us actually go as far as to visit fellow DB'ers.

Again, it is all so innocent when it starts, especially as a friend.

And when our own WAS is off in Neverland, and we need someone to be there for us we turn to someone on the board.

For those of us who actually DB, we learn so much about ourselves and so much about the things we need to change about ourselves.

We learn about what it is that we truly want out of a relationship with someone, whether it is our WAS or someone new.

And we share these new hopes and dreams and fears with someone of the opposite sex, who is also our friend and sometimes those feelings change into something else.