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Originally Posted By: smartcookie
... Now, I can do what I want even when H is home. Try it. (within reason to your sitch, I mean)...


The old me did whatever I want. New me is attempting to give W space while in the same house. This is all so confusing. Now that it is warmer, I will start organizing the garage.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Originally Posted By: Ready2Change
Originally Posted By: smartcookie
..It sucked just imagining it....


That is what gets me down. I need to stay "in the now". I can not understand why W believes it will be "better" being a broken family.


Ready, when you figure this out, let me know because I believe we are all in awe trying to figure out how they could care less that their children will be in a broken family.


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Quote:
I can not understand why W believes it will be "better" being a broken family. Of course W and and I played tag team with the kids, so the frequency of seeing our kids will be less, but the amount of time will be more (unless W does get the 70/30 split she is asking for).


She does not believe this dude, it justifies her actions is all. They will say things like Kids are resilliant, this will have minimal impact on them, etc.... It simply is justification for their actions. Do not let it fool you.

Believe it or not, deep down inside they are still human and have tangeable feelings.....deep deep down inside. Hang in there R2C, it's a bumpy road but you have great shocks.


Ian


M- 48
XW- mentally 17
KIDS- 3- S19, D23, D28
Married- 17 years
Divorce final- 10/16/09

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Just telling the kids we are getting divorced affected them....I dread the day I have to see it....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Today was a great day!

Lots of emails on schedules with kids.

Wife said "I am not criticizing, but high fructose corn syrup is bad" as she examined the bread I bought. I said "Oh sorry, I didn't read the label".

Both of these are good things. Our communication is improving.

Last night, W asked "Would you like to tuck kids in tonight". I said yes. So tonight I asked her the same.

Things are improving....Still not much eye contact.

S7 had BB game. I have made friends with several of the parents. I had a good time talking tonight...


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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It is interesting how W does not look at me.

It is interesting how W does not say bye on the phone.

It is interesting how W will hang up on me in the middle of a simple conversation.

Boy is she still pissed at me or what.

W did ask if I want to tuck kids in tonight. I said yes.

W did start the dishwasher at about 8:00. That means I can unload it earlier than normal! (Since the bomb, I have been starting it about 9:30 then unloading it before bed.)

Good times fishing with S9 tonight. He hooked into at least 20 fish. I was able to work all parts of fly fishing with him again. He is still having hard time getting hook out quickly, but he is learning.....

S7 spent the night at my dads. We actually made plans for this a few days ago. My emails to W worked!

Quote:

W,
S7 has expressed interest in spending the night at dads house several times this past week, but has not had the opportunity. Tuesday night works for dad. Do you mind if S7 spends Tuesday (June 10th) night with dad? I told dad I will check with you and get him a reply. I am OK with S7 spending Tuesday night at dads.

PS: We have not told S7 about this. You and I need to agree on this, and be a united front. That keeps the kids out of the middle. If you say no, I will back your decision. S7 will not even know about the decision. If you say yes, We can then ask S7 if he wants to spend the night at dads and give him the choice.


I received this reply
Quote:
this should be fine.


Crazy how a simple agreement so much effort....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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On a different note (With some humor),

S9 talked on the phone for about 30 minutes to his feance (they have plans to get married ;\) ) who is moving away for a few years. They have been engaged for the past 8 years \:\) . He is taking it well because he knows she will be coming back....

He is a patient guy.....


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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Originally Posted By: Ready2Change
On a different note (With some humor),

S9 talked on the phone for about 30 minutes to his feance (they have plans to get married ;\) ) who is moving away for a few years. They have been engaged for the past 8 years \:\) . He is taking it well because he knows she will be coming back....

He is a patient guy.....


That is simply adorable.


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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I read this yesterday:
Hold on to Your NUTs: The Relationship Manual for Men


It is worth the read.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
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