Actually yesterday was laundry, dishes, and vaccuming. It is nothing new for me however, let's just say that my STBX was not very domesticated and I took on the majority of the houselhold tasks.
I am working a double tonight. I came in this morning at 5am and left at 3pm. I came back at 5pm and will be here until 1130 tonight. Then back again tomorrow morning at 5am. Ahhhhhh... the good life.
So, no time to think, I have tobacco that must be boxed and distributed around the country. Crappy thing is it is Grizzly chewing tobacco, I do not care for it at all. Next month, Levi Garrett Chew yummyyyyyyyy
You CAN use dish liquid like ivory in the washing machine (use much less, use vinegar to get the suds out if you used too much)....however........DO NOT use it in the DISHWASHER
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
It's hard being a single parent....time wise and chores gets better.........but the boundaries Bill was talking about are hard.
It's a different priority set, the kids have to be the priority at least while you're raising them. But you have to have boundaries so you can have a life and relationship yourself. If you're the custodial parent, it's hard to find the time and space to build a romantic relationship.
And you live in a glass bowl. Your kids see everything (most) that you do, how you behave, and know how to push all your buttons...and you don't have the buffer of the other parent around.
It's not for lightweights
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Dude - the fact that you are examining things like this means you are doing OK, I think. You didn't ask for this situation, but guess what - you got stuck with it. You are a GREAT dad, but that doesn't have to be mutually exclusive from dating, having relationships, or even doing "adult" things in general - as long as you ultimately keep the priorities straight, and don't forget that the kids have to come first when push comes to shove. I have seen nothing to indicate that this (misplacing your priorities) has happened. You've had a rough couple of years here my friend - go and enjoy yourself. Like I told you the other day - it's not like you're wishing that your kids weren't around at all, just that you're just looking forward to an occasional break to spend time on some grownup activities. This doesn't seem unusual or wrong at all, and in fact is something that pretty much all of my friends who are parents do on occasion.
Finally, the age difference thing is, to me, very much a non-issue. the dynamics may certainly be different than someone who is closer to your age, but guess what - you're both ADULTS. In addition, you've been VERY up front and candid with her about where you are, which would be something you should do regardless of any age difference - and it speaks volumes for how you are handling yourself as you proceed down this new path in your life. So, like I said - go enjoy yourself - you've earned it, and you deserve it.
Kev
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius
"God alone decides the contest; but we must put our shoulders to the wheel." -Adm. D.G. Farragut
Kevin-38; XW-36 M-2.5, together 4 Bomb-1/6/07; D-6/27/07
Ian....first..letting you know that you are not alone: -I had my first court appearance yesterday -I am close to bankruptcy (and I am a physician) -I love my children just as you do
Healing comes in many forms my friend. What that is to you will be different for me or bnd or sgct. The important thing is to be honest with yourself and if you enter an R with someone else, you are open with them. My counselor once told me that kooky phrase that 'you have to kiss a lot of frogs.....'. You need to meet people, learn and see what others are like out there. You also need to stay in touch with yourself so that your 'radar' beams don't lock back onto another piece of kryptonite.
Get some rest and take that downtime to recuperate. Your ups and downs are normal and expected (if you don't think I have moments of regret for filing, you're wrong). I'm not a big book recommender (well, sometimes I am). Check out A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It helps.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I don't think you and I see eye to eye on this completely, so I wanted to respond to a few of your points - no disrespect intended though...
Originally Posted By: brandnewday
the...now it's your turn to have fun...you deserve it!!
I just don't see anything wrong with him having the right, and yes, feeling entitled to enjoying himself in this respect AS LONG AS his other priorities are straight, which I think they are. Particularly with regards to his kids...
Originally Posted By: brandnewday
you already in a relationship with someone.
Yes, but from what I understand he has taken it slow and been very up front with her regarding what he wants, and what he is prepared to/has the ability to give in the relationship. That's all anyone can ask in ANY relationship. It also doesn't seem super serious at this point (I could be wrong on this), which I do agree probably wouldn't be a good idea this soon.
Originally Posted By: brandnewday
She will be the one that gets hurt.
That risk exists in any relationship (true, some more than others and especially in a case like this). Again, since Ian has been very honest and forthcoming about his intentions, that's all he can do and all he should have to do - but I don't think he should preemptively rule out a relationship because of the risk of what MIGHT happen. She's younger than him, but she's not a child either.
Originally Posted By: brandnewday
Can you not just have time to be Ian and be by yourself and learn how to live life without having a significant other in the picture?
He's done that for some time now I think. He's not marrying this gal, just dating her. And only when he has time OUTSIDE of his kids, rather than INSTEAD of being with them.
I could be wrong, but I get a sense of "if you are dating then you can't be a good parent and aren't being responsible" vibe here; while that certainly can be true and often is in many cases like this, I don't think it's the case here.
And BND - not to seem like I'm picking on you, just wanted to offer my opinion to your post. I respect your opinion even if I don't share it.
Kev
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius
"God alone decides the contest; but we must put our shoulders to the wheel." -Adm. D.G. Farragut
Kevin-38; XW-36 M-2.5, together 4 Bomb-1/6/07; D-6/27/07
