Been following you sitch for a while. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine why your H is doing this. I have a D almost 5 and with everything my W has done I still want her in Ds life. In fact, W is hardly in Ds life much and I tell her to do stuff together.
Listen to what people have been telling your here....good advice and I don't see how H will win. Its so obvious he's using D and the courts will see through this.
Try to forget about this for now and enjoy your D!
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
She's 5 maryangela, she doesn't know what she wants and if she does, she certainly doesn't know how to express that. Who cares what he'll report? People here have told you this a lot of times, but the professionals who will be going over your case understand these things. They will take all the emotions out of the issue that you and your H cannot. They can spot a fake a mile off and their job is what is in the best interest of the child. You tell yourself that 6,000 times a day if you have to, but you MUST get yourself undercontrol. Level.
Now get off the computer, turn off the video and play with your daughter. Make cookies, get dirty gardening in the yard, play tag, go to the park. Do interactive things together so her time with you is time with you. You'll enjoy it and so will she!
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} First of all, good on you for not responding to his attitude. So no let him get to you and he will stop. A bully has to hve a willing victim. Remember this quote and take it to heart.
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Eleanor Roosevelt.
DO NOT BE HIS VICTIM!!!!!
As for her asking for daddy, daddy, daddy--no shock there. Yo uahve already said that Daddy lets he do whatever she wants. The parenting advocate will see right through that.
As for her not wanting to be there---well, my son does not like to go to the nursery at church--until I am out of his line of sight. then he is the ring leader for all the fun that they do there. She is playing both of you--and yes, even at 5 she knows how to play you. She already knows when she goes to daddy's, while living with you, that it is party central. Now that she has been with Daddy for a few days, she is going to see what she can get out of you. This is probably complicated by her spending time with a set of over-indulgent grandparents.
STOP FREAKING OUT!! All you do is add fuel to his fire. Do not give him the weapons he needs. Speaking negative in the world ensures it will be returned to you. Speak only positive.
Now, do I need to pick up a bigger stick, or is some of what everyone has been telling you starting to sink in????
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
omg, he just came back and said that he has to stay here because there's nothing for him to do until 4pm. I said ok, then he went upstairs and started taking stuff. I went up there and politely said that it's making me uncomfortable that you are here. if you want to be here, let's watch a movie or something,(it's raining), but you can't walk around here while I'm trying to be with my daughter after 10 days and you're looking for stuff to take.
so he gets pissed, gives me the finger. basicallly tells me I'm getting nothing and that he's "got full custody". I admit, I DID say back (didn't yell), well, you're not the judge, I don't remember hearing the judge say that.
THEN, he leaves. I found out the REAL reason why he was an hour late. he and ow and her daughter all went together to get the girls haircuts!! I'm so pissed.
You should have told him no. he cannot just hang here till 4pm, cause he has nothing to do.
You should have closed the door. and gone back to play with your daughter.
If he persisted, call 911. don't tell him you are going to call just call. He has had his time with her,
ENOUGH Honey! Its time to go into the closet and put you big girl pants on, and stand up. . . tell him no! Stop letting him control you like a puppet, go and get the scissors and cut the strings.
So, just document why he was late. Give the information to your lawyer in reguards to custody if your D. Show the judge and lawyers that he is not trustworthy, he is irresponsible he is not keeping to agreed times for pick up and drop off.
Don't let him get to you. I have a new thought process with reguards to all that my h is doing to me. Everything he is doing with ow to me I let roll off me like a duck.
STAND UP MARYANGELA for yourself, STOP letting him in. STOP letting him make you so angry and upset. When you feel out of control STOP and take some deep breaths, and let go.
SHOW HIM, SHOW HIM YOUR STRENGTH, ITS THERE BELIEVE ME, OPEN YOUR EYES YOU WILL SEE IT. YOU ARE BETTER THAN HIM!!
Sorry if I seem hard. Hate to see someone so down and out on them selves. Hurts,
(((hugs))) Bear
Last edited by phbear316; 06/08/0806:46 PM.
Me 42-Him 40 T20yrs Married 16yrs 2/06 H- "not sure if i want to be married anymore" 6/07 H-"I'm not happy" 9/07 Admits affair & OW 12/08 I moved out 12/09 still waiting for divorce
Take the advice that people are giving you here and embrace it, live it, let it become you. The situation sucks, so true, but it is what it is and here is where you step up and be the adult. Show your daughter, by example, how to deal with adversity and bullying. Be strong, stand up for yourself and your D and start to lead your life instead of just following what that lout of a husband of yours is throwing at you.
Become a stone. A duck's back. Whatever he throws at you rolls off. Do not show emotions in your face except for the politest of smiles. Then when you don't have your daughter, dig into a a pint of ice cream, cry and scream. Do whatever you have to do so the rest of the time you are on the level.
Above it all, all the time, be your D's Mom. Love her, don't overcompensate, enjoy her and let her see you as you are and not what H and his family might be saying you are. Go give your daughter a big hug and ask her to color you a picture. Color her one back.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
I know you guys, but the last time I "stood up for myself", a week ago friday and told him not to come into the house, he TOOK MY CAR KEYS, THEN TOOK MY CAR AND IS NOW TRYING TO TAKE D5!!!! Don't you guys get it??? He plays mean and he plays dirty. I can't win. I know, 2z4's but look where "sticking up for myself" got me last time? now I have a "visitation with d". (not really, it's not an order, just something our lawyers agreed on until the hearing. In reality I could legally keep her here. He said, "do it, then I'll get custody for sure". He scaring the [censored] out of me. I can't beat him. He's got too much on me. the anxiety/depression crap, my journal entries, some a** at d's school said she wore the same outfit a couple days in a row (not true).
I'm realizing that he wants custody also so that he won't have to pay child support and just cut me out of his and d's life. done.
