Being happy for the sake of being happy for yourself is a hard thing to do for all of us here. Take it while you have it and enjoy! It can only get better
I have to be happy or else I am sad...heh doesn't make sense I have accepted the fact that I have no control over anything with my marriage, so I just focus on me and my son.
I have also begun to find the old me that my wife fell in love with except this is the new and improved version of me...Ted v2.0!!!
Hope you all have a good weekend as me and my son are going to watch Kung Fu Panda!! Stay the course young Padawans and all will be golden!!
New update. Wife called and she wants to go to the movie with us. Don't know what brought that on but what the heck. Making her drive all the way out here this time, I am tired of driving all the way over to her place everyday!
Tomorrow I spend all day with her at my daughter's volleyball tournament. So this should be an interesting weekend.
Attitude is in check and I am going to have fun whether she does or not. No mushy stuff just general conversations and everything should go smooth. Got the duck's back all oiled up and I am not smelling any cheese...oh wait I don't smell anything cause I lost my sense of smell
And when she tries to seduce you, remember to remain in control. You are going for the big picture, not one night.
Once she does brooch this, then you can say something gently and calmly asking regarding the mixed signals with examples and really wanting to know what is going on inside of her.
And really listen.
(And I was serious about a passionate kiss and then LEAVING.)
Well all was fine until all the text messaging and then she mysteriously has to go to the bathroom but is gone for like 30 seconds. I am beginning to think that there is another man and that hurts the most. I am so tired of the lies that I am about ready to give up. She told me it was the daughters volleyball coach but I know that is bullcrap!
All I did was smile and told her to go have fun. She then begins to give me a sob story that she does not want to go out because my son does not feel good. Said that she does not have "friends" waiting for her. I told her to just go have fun.
Ted....whoa down big fella! Take a breath, step back, regroup, detach, and focus man you CAN do this. Yesterday you were doing great, you accepted you can't control it, you were finding the new improved Ted v2 you were hanging with your kiddo and the world was right, what's that called....DETACHMENT!
OH YES it is a rollercoaster and you alone have the choice to buy a ticket. It's not our 'fight' to win, it is the battle of the WAS not ours. Remember Dbng is about & for us not them, it is our weapon to deal with the sitch use it read and reread again. You are strong when you don't let her 'bait' you. You said a ducks back that's the right attitude live it be it as I say. You have to remember that for every positive 'expect' more negatives.
Do you know there is a OM? If you have no proof for yourself then all you are doing is putting yourself thru torture. As they say around here the OP is not the problem it is just a circumstance of the sitch. You can't as much as it hurts concern yourself with it. With that said if that is something you can't forgive then that is a line you must draw in the sand, but don't make a decision made from emotion, remember what I told you about the 48 hour rule?
We all feel your pain, in my sitch I do all the bills and looking at the cell bill I saw where the W's phone usage went from about 150 minutes a month up to almost 800 after the 'bomb'. So I confronted her with the bills in hand what did she do...denied it I really had no proof there were no numbers it just showed she was checking her email granted it was like every half hour but still I had no real proof.
It is a tough path we are all on only you know when enough is enough. But IMHO you have just gotten started give yourself time to adjust time to learn the principles of Dbng.
You can do this don't let her bait you, don't read into things, don't try and read her mind how can you do that when she doesn't even know what she is thinking. Stay the path, detach. Tink and others have been given your good advice listen and learn. Slow and steady is the path brother one day at a time, live for you and the kids, be the man you want to be.
So enjoy the cartoons, be happy for the kids but almost as important be happy for yourself...
I have accepted the fact that I have no control over anything with my marriage, so I just focus on me and my son.