I've got to get a job, I interviewed the same day as I went to court for the divorce, what an emotional day. I walked out of court crying then a couple of hours later I had to be all smiles for this interview.
Look how strong you are! I hope you give yourself lots of credit for that. . . .
Originally Posted By: nlt
I don't do much socializing, I go to church but yesterday I just didn't feel like it. They have all been so supportive but I just couldn't do it yesterday. I guess I'm going to have those. A friend of mine is working on getting a ladies night out for about 4 or 5 of us, so that will be nice. My socializing was with H, my life was with him, this has been so hard.
My suggestion on this is that the times when you least want to go out are the times when you really should just do it. You may find it lifting your mood even more than it would if you already felt good. And, it's not likely that you will experience welcome surprises staying at home, but if you get out, you just might. . . . The dogs will understand
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
Thank you so much for that! Yes, I've got to make myself do things for sure!!!
Only by the Grace of God did I make it thru that day of court & job interview! After court I stopped at a friend's office & she helped calm me down some.
You are right, no welcome surprises with me sitting here. I will get better at that, I hope!
I went to the support grp last nite. One of the ideas I got fr it was "planned grieving". Go abt your business and when the darkness threatens you, make a note - say to yourself, you know I can't deal w/ th right now, but tonight at 7 (or whenever) I will take th thought out and deal with it. I thought it was a good idea. There are so many times when you just need or want to keep it together, but you don't have to totally repress your feelings. Just save them for a more appropriate time. That's probably in essence what you did on that day.
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
What a great ideal!!! I'm going to try that myself. I've lost it so many times out mowing the yard b/c we always did that together. I was on the riding, he was push mowing & weed eating, now I do all of it by myself. So I get pretty down during that time, I'll have to do like Scarlett & "think about that tomorrow".
I need to check into a support group. That would be good for me also.
I think that is what I did that day. I had to hold it together for that interview & inside my heart was breaking.
I went to a C the beginning of this year about twice. I let her read the emails that I had between my H & OW, she said it sounded like teenagers, but she also was very negative & said "He won't be coming back to you". That really upset me, I thought she was supposed to be helpful. What do you all think of that??
I didn't go back to her. I don't know if he will come back either but right now I still can't imagine my life without him.
I just check & he still hasn't cashed that IRS refund check I sent him. He picked it up Tuesday & it's Friday now, so I don't know what the hold up is. I just think that is kinda strange for him especially.
I don't know abt the C - there is a balance to strike betw helping us to be real and supporting our reconciliation goals. If it didn't click w/ her, it wldn't hurt to try someone else. At the very least, a C can help you focus on how you process what is happening in your life and how you heal - that has to happen anyway before anything meaningful in terms of R. . . .
What are your goals?
Do you have some "good for you" plans for the weekend?
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now
I worked really hard in the yard yesterday & have some more today. It does feel good to get out in the yard & work, it makes me really tired so I guess that is good.
I've started exercising again, I'm also sore & tired from that so I think getting back to doing things like that is my goal right now.
No plans for the weekend except working around the house, I'm ready to settled down with my pups & a good movie tonight.
I got the alimony check from my H yesterday & was hoping he would say something in there but he didn't. I guess it's still too early & I know he is mad about having to pay me alimony. I just hope he doesn't hold it against me.
Wow! Another C said the same thing. You know, for some reason I didn't believe her. I want to but right now I haven't given up on him even tho our D is final.
I know what you mean, they tell us one thing & then not to believe another.
Here is the words to the song "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban, I played it over & over last night. I cried & cried but it seem to really help me.
"When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary When troubles come & my heart burdened be Then, I am still & wait here in the silence Until you come & sit a while with me
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas I am strong, when I am on your shoulders You raise me up... to more than I can be"
It was just inspiring to me & helped me get through the night. Last night was rough, not sure why but it was rough.
