She's Gone - No Contact (Part 2)

[Kinlovewithm]

Thanks Nik & W2G. It's nice that you're "checking on me."

No news. Very busy with school. I'm a teacher though and out for the summer after next week which I know will bring loneliness and memories of our 2 great summers together.

Haven't heard from her at all. I tried to call her the 3rd Saturday in April (left a voice mail) and she did not respond. So, I'm assuming she's either NEVER coming back or definitely not ready now.

I'm OK. Thank goodness I've been busy with grad school, teaching school, activities with friends, and working on my backyard.

Should I "test the waters" further with a card or a call and if so, when? OR am I done testing?

Thanks again.

[NikB]

I'd say leave her alone.. the message she's sent is pretty darn clear.

[Kinlovewithm]

Thanks Nik. I knew ya'll would say that - I just thought I'd double check.

I hope if I completely "leave her alone" that maybe she will get "curious" and finally call me. In the meantime, I'm trying not to think about her. Trying to stay busy. Will go out with someone else if I have the opportunity.

I'm still sad, frustrated, hurt but SO much better than 2 or 3 months ago and MUCH, MUCH better than 1 year ago.

[MichelleLT]

All normal feelings. We all go through it. You sound good though. Smile!

[Kinlovewithm]

Thanks for dropping in Michelle. I am doing great. I do still wonder though, what if....

I believe it was you who advised me a month or so ago to go ahead and "test the water" although you said she would not have come to terms with the religion thing yet. How long would you estimate dealing with the religion thing will take?

I'm "moving on" but I will probably keep the door open for "her" until I meet someone wonderful. Just wondered what you thought. By the way, how'd you get so smart at such a young age?

Thanks a bunch! Hope you're doing well, also.

K

[MichelleLT]

I think for now, just wait for her to contact you. Maybe in a couple months, if you want to test the waters, you could give her a quick call and leave a casual VM. If you have an excuse, even better.

It's okay to hold out hope. A lot of the people on here keep hope alive until their WAS is engaged or M to someone new.

I guess my parents did something right lol!

I am hanging in there. My H is having major confusion, we were "dating" for a while, now he's "back" with OW (except won't admit it to me) lol. Ugh. I kinda want to throw $h!t at him right now lol. Oh well, I'll live. And so will he, for the moment. Mwahahahaha.

[NikB]

I know...Michelle you're like a 50 year old in a 25 year old body. (that's a GOOD thing )

K - moving on but keeping the door open sounds like a smart plan.

[Kinlovewithm]

Thanks ladies. That's funny Nik - Michelle is a 50 year old in a 25 year old body. That IS a good thing. I wish I had the wisdom both of you have.

Yes, I am definitely moving on. I feel great, getting a lot of things accomplished and making some actual changes. I read something this past week that really hit me hard. It was "You don't really grow until you change." I always thought I was learning and growing just from reading but now I realize that I actually have to make some physical/emotional/mental changes.

I will not contact her at all. I will wait patiently to see if she ever contacts me. BUT, what would be your estimate of how long a person would need to come to terms with something like this (accepting their sexuality, making peace with God, etc.)?
We've been apart more than a year except for a few dates in May 2007 and several dates in October 2007. So, she's had NO CONTACT at all with me since the middle of December. It's already been 7 months since we've seen each other (November). Do you think she might come around anytime now, after another month, another 6 months, another year, what?

Thanks!!!!

[MichelleLT]

Something like this is so individual there is no way to predict when or what the outcome will be.

As long as you leave the door open, possibilities abound. But, as you have already realized, waiting forever isn't an option either. So, keep moving on. And if in 1 year or 2 or 3 she contacts you, then you can decide what you want to do about it.

I am glad to hear you are doing well!!!

[Kinlovewithm]

Well, I guess ignorance is bliss. I drove over to her house today and she's moved out. Last time I drove by it appeared she was still there and there was no sign (For Sale By Owner) since Feb. So - I'm falling apart again. I've been so good but I've kept up hope that she would eventually call me. And it's also comforting to know she was only 30 miles away.

I called a mutual friend who hasn't answered or returned my call the past 2 times I've called her. So I assumed she was mad or taking sides with GF or whatever. But she said she had just been "busy". I appreciated her information which wasn't much. That GF had sold the house and quit her job. So obviously, she's moving far away.

I probably shouldn't have but I called her cell phone and left a message "call me, could we please say goodbye in person." Then after I got home (and hadn't heard from her yet), I sent her a lengthier text message.

I am so hurt that she has sold that beautiful little house where we had so many wonderful memories. I can't believe it. I'm in shock. I have cried and cried. I feel like now, there's no hope at all. I have been "good" and left her alone for no reason.

I don't know what's going on with her but I have never had anyone treat me like this. Why can't she pick up the phone and tell me where she's going and why? It's that simple. If she has someone else, that would be so easy. I could move on so easy. The only other expanation is she's just running away from this area because she's running away from her "previous, gay" life. I think she's lost her mind.

Please help.