I hope the "date" goes well because I feel like I am back in high school again and am asking the prettiest girl to go to prom with me
Hi Jonzy, I'm trying to give feedback to be more involved here. If you can make her feel like the prettiest girl from school, I'm sure she would appreciate that. If she is looking for you to woo her, that's a good sign!!
Me: 30 W: 27 Married: 9/2007 ILUBNILWU: 1/2008 W moved out 5/24/2008 W suicide 8/25/2009
Well everything just blew up! I went over to pick up my son this morning and find out that she did not come home, so instantly I start to analyze things and then when she gets home I just blow up. I asked her if she was with another man and all the other stupid crap! I think I just threw everything away because now she said she is going to get the papers on tuesday. God I screwed up so bad, it hurts to hear this woman say I don't love you like that anymore and never will! Did I blow it or is there some that have made it past this? Please help!!
Of course there are some that have made it past this! I'd be worried if she said it calmly but this came out of a yelling thing.
You went out last night together right? Then you dropped her off, then when you came over she wasn't home yet? Maybe she went out for some milk? Was your child home alone?
No we didn't go out ogether she already had plans made and we were supposed to go out next saturday. She went with her friends dancing and left my son at home with his sister to watch him. She ended up staying at some guys house she didn't know, supposedly with friends, after they went out drinking and dancing. She said nothing happened but I found condoms in her bag. I am so lost right now I don't know what to do, I thought everything was going good.
I did everything I was not supposed t do by accusing her of being with someone and yelling for her to tell me where she stayed. Her reply was that he does not owe me any explanations, which she doesn't, but to me we are still husband and wife and I don't want her to be with someone else while we are still "married".
So I totally know how you feel. We were thinking she wasn't dating or doing anything else with anyone. Plus all her comments about how you're the only man she wants to be with.
Sounds like she is really confused!
I guess from now on you will have to treat her not like a wife but like a woman you are first dating, who may or may not be dating other people, since it is your first date and you are nowhere near deciding to be exclusive yet.
But still you need to decide if you even want to "date" her, knowing that she is possibly with other men.
Perhaps what she needs is for you to completely go dark and no longer be interested in going on a date next week or anything.
She needs to feel that she's lost you because of her behavior...when she almost had a second chance (next week's date), and SHE blew it.
At this point I really don't know? I think if I do that it is just going to make it that much easier for her to leave! I wish my books would get here so I can have other info to go on, not saying yours hasn't been great so far tink. To be honest I think this may have been the last straw for her and she just wants to be done. But the other thing that really bothers me is she keeps calling me to see how I am doing:o If she wants to leave then do not drag o anymore. Although I will keep trying I don't know if I will succeed or not!
I think that perhaps she said that this is the last straw because she was caught and didn't know what to do so she went on the offensive.
I would venture to suggest to keep up going dark because like you said, look at how often she has been pursuing you?
She keeps calling you, asking you to come over, asking you to lie down with her, etc. That is not someone who wants to be rid of you.
Yes go dark, don't contact her because if you reach out now it's like saying that you have no respect for yourself and that you would be OK with her sleeping with another guy if that's what she is doing.
Instead don't call, text or email her and wait, I bet she will call to test without asking, to test if YOU are angry or still interested in HER.
Act distinterested and I bet she will panic that she has lost you.
Wait...how did you find condoms in her bag? Were you in the house alone and she left her pocketbook there? And if they were there then she obviously didn't bring them to where she was.
I am going to go dark and pray she does endupissing me and decides maybe she wants to work things out. It is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, but am praying for the best.
I found the condoms in the bag that she had packed the night before she went out. When she came home she threw the bag on the bed while we were arguing and they fell out. Granted they were the condoms that we bought for us, but she had them with her...although still unopened but why would she need to carry them?
When she brought my son over she insisted that nothing happened and that i haveothing to be upset about. I just said that I was upset because she knew that she would not be coming home and that it was planned. So what am I to think when this happens? Am I wrong for thinking this?
Do I tell her that I am not giving up on the relationship but I am just letting her have her space and going to let time tell if it is meant to be? I am scared because I do not want her to get the impression that I have given up and moved on.
