Well. I always told H that leaving was not an option for me and I haven't. He has. Over and over. I'm the strong one -he is the one wondering in the desert. When leaving is not an option for either of you then there must be some kind of hope. At least you will be together to try when you have the strength. You can look at is as stuck together with no options, or staying together with possible options that have not yet been relalized. I do know that in ONE day everything can change. You can find out you have cancer. You can lose a loved on. Your daughter can attempt suicide. I also know that it works both ways. In one day everything can change. You rejoice in your health. You watch your two little twin grandaughters being born. Your daughter comes our of her darkness into the light. My wish for you Andy is that in ONE day your life will change. In some positive, amazing, unbelieving way. It happens every day. Why can't it happen to you or to me? It can. It can. It can. Rachael
I'm sorry the road got rougher for you. You deserve much better -- and brighter -- days.
So sorry about your daughter's suicide attempt, it undoubtedly affected your wife's outlook. Perhaps, with help for your daughter, there can be healing in the family unit?
Have certainly felt your wisdom and help in my life -- so I'll play you a song tonight and send good vibes your way, hoping the universe sends you music to cheer you.
You've been a rock, time to let your friends shore you up now. Glad you're posting.
And as far as turns for the worse following a pattern -- nah -- things just cycle at the pace needed.
In my sitch -- though my H moved out again and our M may be over -- the worst pain (of being deceived and dissed) is over. I am doing many things that give me pleasure and are building my confidence. I am setting my H down and letting him go free, and I'm very proud of myself for being able to give him that gift.
I'm hopeful for happiness for us both.
Here's hoping the ache subsides for you today. Peace to you (in pieces) -- and if not that, Hersey's kisses.
Hey...Andy..just wanted to stop in and say i am thinking of you and your family. I have turned to prayer and will include you..not to get all religious, but I do believe that God has a plan for all of us, and I think you are in it.. possibbly through your d crisis will open up a new beginning with your w ...you may not see it right now, but HE is watching over you..ok..no more of that stuff!!
It’s funny how much things stay the same amid so much change.
When I was young, my parents divorced. I no longer had a father. My older brother became schizophrenic. He was gone. My mother died.
I was hurtin’
Quoting BRIDGET: You've been a rock, time to let your friends shore you up now. Glad you're posting.
At the ripe old age of 15, I decided that I had to be a rock. My younger brother and sister needed me. I had to act as-if I could influence our future. The first thing my brother said to me after mom died was, “What’s going to happen to us?” I had to suck in my own pain to reassure him that I had it all under control (yeah. right.)
My theme song became I am a Rock (Simon and Garfunkle).
I've built walls A fortress deep and mighty That none may penetrate I have no need for friendship Friendship causes pain It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock I am an island
After I finally reconciled with my father, he told me how much he admired us kids: “You guys stood back-to-back against the world.”
One day, I met the woman of my dreams. It wasn’t love at first sight. We became friends. We hung out together and had a lot of laughs. We were pals. Gradually, I came to realize that I wanted more than that. I fell in love.
I was madly in love for over 20 years. So was my W.
But life’s struggles weren’t over. Along with the usual stuff, we had to struggle to raise four kids – including one who had autism – on a single income. We had no family nearby to help us. We stood back-to-back against the world.
Then my job started to involve travel. W was virtually alone to handle it all. And she did it. Alone.
Due to circumstances beyond either of our control, the love of my life gradually fell out of love with me. I wasn’t there for her to support her for a long long time. She spent a lot of nights crying in her pillow. She had to take care of herself and still keep up her onerous responsibilities to her children. She didn’t have any energy left to love me, and my attempts to rekindle things only put pressure on her.
Don't talk of love Well, I've heard the word before It's sleeping in my memory I won't disturb the slumber Of feelings that have died If I'd never loved, I never would have cried
I am a rock I am an island
So I’m back to sucking in my pain.
I am a rock I am an island And the rock feels no pain And an island never cries
It was good to share a couple of emails old friend... so I decided to stop here and take a look. Blessings to you Andy.
You and I have sat together and talked in person. We've also typed thousands of characters on the phosphore these last couple of years. It's been an enlightening journey Andy.
I've learned these last couple of years that happiness is what we all strive for. Our purpose on this earth is to give love and receive love. I know I'm capable of doing both.
I've also learned that happiness is a state-of-mind. I've learned I can control my mind by showing compassion and learning to cherish all others. I've learned that happiness doesn't come from external sources, but through the attainment of full enlightenment.
An excellent book that has helped me these past years is called "Eight Steps to Happiness" by Buddhist monk Gelsang Gyatso. You can find it at www.tharpa.com I highly recommend it to anyone. Along with Michele's books of course.
Stay in touch Andy. I'll be in your neck of the woods for a wedding this summer. Let me know if you ever want to chat.
Ha! Probably so! I think you tried it all with me. I'm so glad I'm past that stage!!! There always seems to be another stage around the corner doesn't there?? Rachael
I’m so tired. I know you’re into the Buddhist thing. My late father was too, so I’m not totally ignorant about the way. But though I agree to an extent that happiness comes from within, there’s something really basic within me that I can’t change. I know that if I try to explain, a whole lot of people will jump all over me… “Let her go…” “You can’t change her. Change yourself…”
Just can’t hear it right now.
And it ain’t a stage, Rachael
Call it a basic weakness if you like, but it's me.
I have my black belt (karate) grading this weekend. I'm having a lot of concentration problems lately and I'm dog tired. Hope I can slog my way through. Wish me luck.
