my story adventures of a WAW!

[ping1]

Hi Christa, have you heard anything back from H yet?

[christarn]

Hey Ping, thanks for checkin in on me! Not a word...I'm wondering if I pist him off by not giving in to the response he was wanting (seeing him)??? I don't know, I'm still sooo hurt and angry...I don't want to see him right now. We shall see what the next couple of days brings forth!

thanks again Ping...you've been great to me the past couple of days, when I have needed it the most, thank you

hugs 2 u
christa

[HOPEFULinCALI]

Hi Christa,

I am so sorry to hear of your interaction with H this weekend. To say it was disrespectful is an understatement but you handled it great. You didn't show him the reaction he may have been looking for. Hopefully he will see that playing games is not the way to get you back and that it really doesn't make him feel any better.

Hang in there!

Hugs

[christarn]

HIC~ thanks for stopping in and checking on me! I'm getting over the anger now. It was all just an act. I hurt him, so he is lashing out, acting like a 17 yr old...i'm looking at it as if it were a movie, he scripted it, sad but true.

I had a session today with my DB coach, it went extremely well. She reads my H so well. She used to be a high school counselor, so I think she can even crack the tough nuts, like my H!!! She said my being dark, is really getting to him. He had to put a lot of effort into Sat. night, he went out of his way to plan that, and it was all about me. She said he is thinking about me, which is still a good sign. She stated that he feels inadequate, he has low self esteem, and I really injured both of those things by walking out, so he is doing 4 things to hurt me back...seeking attention, revenge, trying to take control, and doing things to show he is not inadequate. She said by me walking out of the bar, I did the right thing. He was wanting me to create a scene, or start crying, I didn't give him the reaction he wanted. She also thought it was good that he introduced the chick to my sister as "this is Christa's sister"...she said that shows that it really was based around me.

DB coach, said to continue on my path, no communication, use LRT techniques, stay dark. She feels it is getting to him. If I'm doing less, he will have to do more. We shall see.

Thanks to everyone who has checked in on me, and given support to me during that past few bumpy days. I am staying strong and keeping the faith, God will see me through this storm. If He wants the door to close, it will, but not by me, it will have to be by H's submission. I am standing firm, and being patient...even thru this crazy unpaved rocky road. I believe their is still way to much emotion between the two of us to shut the door...so I am going to keep on fighting...keepin my chin up, and forging on!

hugs 2 all of you
christa

[christarn]

Oh, one more thing she said that I found to be interesting. She thinks the credit card thing is just a ploy to get me to go his house??? Why, we are not sure. She even made me promise I wouldn't under any circumstance go to his house. She said even though I asked him to mail it, he wouldn't probably do that. She said if he texts me again about the card...ignore it. It's just something he's using as a game.

[HOPEFULinCALI]

Your coach makes a great point. Why would someone who is no longer interested go to such great lengths to make you jealous? You're doing a great job hanging in there.

hugs

[ping1]

Hi Christa, any new updates?

[christarn]

Hey Ping, Thanks 4 checkn up on me No word out of the H since Monday. I went down to see a friend of ours she and her H had a baby, the baby is 10 wks today. Her and her H were best friends with us. Long story...I will cut to my point. My H talked to her H, and said, he didn't know what was going on with me, felt like I was ignoring him, maybe it would have been easier to D from the beginning. I took this to be positive in many ways, even though at first it does not look that way...here's my thinking. 1. He's opening up to someone who may/may not leak it to get back to me, 2. he feels ignored...the start of something here, possibility hints, of him starting to miss me??? 3. he took responsibility for the decision and said 'we', WOW, big step, 4. he was actually being very vulnerable here, first time he has done this since this has happened...it's a babay step, a small one, that I will take....now it's how to proceed from here????

Anywho, It was great to spend the day with my friends and the baby. The baby is soooo freggin cute. I also told my friends H, some things, things that I regret, and how I still want to work on things...I was totally positive and upbeat. They are 100% for us working on things. It's nice to have good friends like them! I didn't want my friends H to feel like he had to run and tell my H any of what I said, but if the subject gets brought up again, my friends H can say well I know how your W feels, because she told me. all in all it was a great day!

hugs to you ping!
thanks for checkn up on me
christa

[Flipper]

Hey Christarn,

A belated thank you for your comments to me ("WAW leaving me because of past depression..."). I am such a dork with these BB strings, so I didn't see your comment until last night. Derrr.

Seeing the above comment about your H feeling ignored makes me wonder what you should do. It hard to do dark and to know if it is the right thing, at least for me. At what point should we initiate contact, especially if the visits are enjoyable to both people? Hmmm. I have discussed this with Vernetta. When you have a couple good visits, I tend to want to keep the good mojo going...not smother her, but maybe invite her to coffee in a week. I was told to refrain, and to wait for HER to call. Damn, it's hard.

BTW, I am regularly going to rejoiceministries.com. I printed out the Standers' Affirmation. Right on! Thanks for that!

[christarn]

just a couple of small updates....the H tried to call, yes, call me on Tues. However, I was at work, and busy, so I couldn't answer the call. I did try to call him back, and he didn't answer. I left him a msg but didn't hear back from him....still wondering what that was about???? Maybe the mystery credit card...which still hasn't came in the mail!!!

So..onto last night! My friend needed to buy her sig. other a battery operated weedeater, and had a crazy electrical question...some of them were measured in amps, and some in volts...so probably against better judgement, but stuck in a bind..we called my H (he's an electrician)...he didn't answer...but I left him a msg. Told him our dilema. I am very happy to say, about an hour later he returned my call! My friend and I had already figured out our problem...and had moved on.... the H was extremely polite...he was going to tell me exactly what I needed to know, it was really noisy where he was...I asked where r u?? he told me which bar he was at...we chatted for a minute..I believe he wasn't ready to hang up...but in DB fashion I said...I know your with your friends and busy so I won't keep you...thanks for calling me back...and that was that!

any input???

thanks & hugs
Christa