my story adventures of a WAW!

[christarn]

JS~ Thanks for your kind words. I needed to hear some perspectives on this. I am just so unsure of what he is thinking. I truly feel this was totally a ploy. He knew what pub I would go to, and went from talking to sucking face, after he saw me. I usually have a 48 hour rule, because I am feeling so many emotions, I am changing it to a week. I am going to do a lot of praying this week and see where God leads me. I am also going to set up a coaching session with my DB coach. She's been right on target with his actions, so I would like to get her take on this.

Again, thank you JS, for for your kind words...I really needed to hear those today.

hugs 2 You
christa

[Jay Scott]

went from talking to sucking face, after he saw me

He is an ass. Sorry

[Jay Scott]

This is where I start getting into trouble with some folks around here. Respect! His respect for you and your self respect for yourself. That is where I would be right now. There was a period where I felt that my wife was showing me very little respect. I told her so and made no contact with her. Since then, she has stopped that type of behavior and apologized when when has crossed the line since then. I had to stand up for myself and tell her, I have self respect and until you treat me the same way I treat you, there is no reason for us to communicate unless it is necessary and about the kids.

Since that time, we have come a long way. I am not saying that my way is the only way or the right way for everyone. But I think it is the right way for me. Since I started standing up to her, she has been nicer and spends lots more time here. She even came over last night and cooked diner with me and we had a nice time after the meal.

I am so very sorry you had to deal with this Christa, as a man I cannot stand for men to mistreat women. What he did was wrong and very unattractive. I am sure he is not as attractive to you today.

[ping1]

Sorry to hear about last night for you Christa, I am going to give you a different perspective than JS did. Don't be hurt by what I am going to say but this is what I am reading into it.

Your H knew you would end up in this pub, he probably knew your family would end up with you. This was all a set up by him. He did what he did for one of two reasons and only one of the reasons. 1. He did this to make you jealous and see if you would come back to him, remember, you have been dark for a month so in his mind, he don't know what you have been doing, maybe he feels you have been seeing someone and is only trying to get back at you for what he feels you are out there doing yourself. 2. He did this to show he is moving on and wanted to show you on his terms.

Now, I know that detaching is suppose to be the best thing for any of us to do but it does not work in all cases. You keep up with my thread, you know what I am going through, my W told me the reason she served them is because we don't talk much anymore therefore she felt I was going to hold her to the May 1st deadline I told her about 1.5 months ago to let me know what she is going to do with our house, either buy me out or sell it. I haven't spoke of this since that one coversation as I was going to wait out a whole year before I persued any legal action to go forth in my sitch. Since I had cut all R talks off with her, and I thought this to be a R talk, she went forward with the L's.

Again, don't shoot the messenger here, I don't know what your H was thinking but I would almost bet money on it being one of the two scenerios I gave.

Sorry to see you are down right now, you have done so good, I agree, give yourself more time to think about what you will do from here. Ping

[christarn]

Ping, I want and need any input I can get...and totally appreciate it. I totally agree that this was a set up. I think she was a pawn in his game play, she was a nobody. If he was seeing somebody on a serious level, I would know by now. We have too many common friends for me not to know. I agree, I think I may be have detatched too much. But I am not sure about anything at this point. I have always been the one to pursue him, when things went bad when we were dating, I fixed it. I almost wonder if in his mind, since I screwed things up, it is my job to fix it....I'm so confused. He's a tough nut to crack. I am anxious to see what the next week will bring. I am going to do a lot of praying, and soul searching to figure out how I am going to proceed. Even though I am hurt and angry, My gut instinct, is still not telling me to D. But I think, I need to get a game plan together.

Thanks for your input ping. Don't ever worry about hurting my feelings, feedback, and male perspective is always appreciated.

thanks Ping!!
hugs
Christa

[christarn]

Just a little update...H text msgd me today "Do you want me to bring this credit card to work with me or what".... I am not sure if he was "fishin" to see what type of response he was going to get, or what he was up to??? That was at 2pm, as of now, I haven't text him back. Part of me says don't, but part of me says if I don't send something back, such as, just mail it to me, or leave it at so&so's house, he will know he got to me.

Any good advice out there???

thanks
Christa

[ping1]

Christa, my guess is if he texted you hours ago, he is already thinking that he got to you. I would text him back to mail it or drop it off. Keep your same tone that you have in the past few texts, don't change what you have been doing. My guess is once you text him back to do whatever, he will then want to call or text you back again as I am sure he is fishing to see your response. Ping

[christarn]

Thanks Ping, I just got off work, so I will say just that. Got off work, you can either mail it to me, or leave it with so & so. I am just afraid of him thinking he got to me.

thanks Ping!
hugs 2 U
christa

[ping1]

Christa, I can almost guarantee you that he thinks he got to you. It appears this is what he set out to do. One thing to note though, this happened Saturday night, so you didn't contact him yesterday as I bet he was waiting on your call so good for you for not doing that. Being you didn't contact him, he text you today to start the conversation. He was probably shocked you didn't call him yesterday. It will be interesting to see how he takes your text, something tells me he will want to see you.

[christarn]

Ping, I text msgd him over an hr ago. here's what I wrote "just drop it in the mail, that would be great" I just wanted to be to the point but not a sassy biotch either. I also included my address, just so he wouldn't have that excuse either! I agree, he was probably totally shocked by my behavior, last year when I saw him at the local pub and he was talking to the chick I knew he was dating, I went up and asked her in front of him and a bunch of people, "does it make you feel good dating my husband, and screwing a married man???" The next day before I could even text him to apologize for my behavior, he was texting me, and asking why I only wanted to be around him when I was drinking, and why did I act the way that I did.... so I am pretty dang sure, me not speaking to him, not texting him, and just walking away from the sitch, has totally thrown him for a loop.

I am anxiously awaiting how he is going to respond to my text about mailing me the "credit card" (I am so thinking austin powers..."the laser" and the air quotes here!!!!)it will be interesting to see if I get it in the mail in the next few days, or if he fires off a text in the morning about it...will keep you posted!

Ping, I just want to thank you for being so supportive to me during this time, I truly appreciate it hugs to u!

christa