Good news: I didn't pick up the rope! No fighting and arguing. I validated as much as possible and listened. We talked!
Bad news: Found out wife has started the D paperwork. She wants space --> Me out of house. She wants kids school nights (166 days) and 50/50. --> 75% Reasons --> no respect over the years and no help.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
R2C, glad to see you did not pick the rope back up. Sorry that your W has started the D paperwork, I don't know what is going on this weekend on this board but there seems to be alot of negative things happening in sitch this weekend.
I don't know how it works in your state, but if your W is the one wanting out of the M, make her move, you stay put. I think it is great that she is willing to split the kids time with you, my W is adament that I only get them every other weekend, this will be a hot item in my sitch as we have started the seperation papers.
Keep working for yourself, you never know what may happen tomorrow. Things change on a daily basis with people, anything is possible.
R2C, glad to see you did not pick the rope back up. Sorry that your W has started the D paperwork, I don't know what is going on this weekend on this board but there seems to be alot of negative things happening in sitch this weekend.
I don't know how it works in your state, but if your W is the one wanting out of the M, make her move, you stay put. I think it is great that she is willing to split the kids time with you, my W is adament that I only get them every other weekend, this will be a hot item in my sitch as we have started the seperation papers.
Keep working for yourself, you never know what may happen tomorrow. Things change on a daily basis with people, anything is possible.
Thanks Ping. I saw lawyer last week (protecting myself) and my state is 85% 50/50 with kids. The other 15% are drug families ect.
After validating W today, W in a more friendly mood tonight.
I more worried about my step father, he is going in for quadruple bypass in next few days....
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
In Connecticut there's actually 'nesting'. The child remains in the family home and the parents alternate their time living there. It takes a lot of juggling, but it's more secure for the kids. (Kind of gives parents an idea how hard it is for the kids to shuttle between homes!)
Stay in the house. My husband wanted to 'live his own life'. One night I slept on the couch. Then I thought about it. I didn't want the marriage to end. I didn't want to leave. I went right up to my.. our room and thought.. this is OURS, not his or mine.. and will be as long as we are married. He chose to go to another bedroom. My feeling was that it was his choice, to remain in the room, leave, come back. It was OUR room.
That thinking helped meto be open, non accusatory and at peace with my actions.
Sending hope and prayers for you, your family and stepdad.
I took my ring off and gave it to W. My old marriage is dead. If she wants me back we need a new marriage.
During mass I asked for the church to "pray for my moms and my family" (Never did this before)
I told one couple at church about my sitch. Everyone I talk to "is shocked" and recommends communication, dates, counseling, trial separation etc...
I believe W thinks I am moving out soon. I like the nesting idea. My mom actually mentions her friend has this arrangement.
I will talk to my lawyer tomorrow.
My step father goes for surgery tomorrow morning...
R2C, sounds like you are taking control of your life, great job. I like what you stated about taking the ring off and making it clear that you did not want the old marriage back, you needed a new one, that is great.
I hope your step father has a successful surgery tomorrow, keep us posted.
