I understand that jaw...I am not sure how relevant that is after the time past except for her to find out what you already told her...however it may be...I just wouldn't react to her spending time with her. Perhaps, she is getting information to confirm what you state...that to me is positive, maybe very positive. Agreed perhaps odd but I would definitely not react negatively to it. Won't help you. Also, try to remember that she said that she wanted this b/c of this woman, but you know as well as I do, we all got a long list of "reasons". It could be that she is losing this "reason", that is positive...remember WA's look for reasons to validate their choice. Just don't see her being best friends with this person, seems like information exchange to me. Blah blah.
I still think it is interesting that she took kids. I think she wanted you to find out. Besides, she wants to spend time with you. Don't push. Be happy with what is positive and enjoy that time.
Work and life in general has been extremely busy and I have missed my visits to the board lately.
The latest interaction with the H was on Tuesday. He called me twice. The first I missed since my phone was off and never notified me. The second call he told me that he picked up some movies and I should come by to watch them. I suggested Wednesday since Tuesday's are long days for me with my Bible Study Group after work. He had plans for Wed. and I suggested if he didn't mind waiting that I could stop by after church.
I was surprised to see that he picked "chick flicks" that he would normally never watch and no movies for himself. It was a nice surprise after his call last Friday in response to my call on Thursday and he seemed to almost be begging me to invite him out, but then not returning my call on Saturday. So things seem to be getting minimally better, but better is better is better. I holding on and keeping hope. I hope you are doing well. I will drop by again very soon.
Last edited by HOPEFULinCALI; 05/02/0805:06 AM.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
That sounds good. Especially picking out movies that you would be more interested in...Sounds like he enjoys seeing you.
I can say I feel a bit similar to you with the call thing. I had a great time with W at 5D dance the other night. We spent a good bit of time thinking of -ar and -or words for 5D homework, like marker, horse, etc...laughing, giggling at our ineptitude. So, next morning I sent a text listing the -ar and -or items I had sent with 5D for show and tell. With only those items, and the -ar and -or capitalized. This to me was one of the best parts of the 5D dance time. This text in my mind would bring back that good memory. Of course, no response...I guess you could say I didn't expect it. I had a great time and I believe she did to. Silly to think she would have responded. The details of the 5D dance with W is in my solution journal.
DB coach Saturday morning...woohoo...last time she said I was teetering on stage 2. Perhaps this time I will be on the cusp...lol
Laughter, smiles, friendly conversation, are all great signs. Obviously you are doing things correct. Keep it up!
HiC -
Have missed your posts; but I am excited for you. "Chick flicks"! I don't even know if I want my W back enough to start watching those. j/k Good signs from him. Keep holding on and hoping. That is all we can do sometimes! I am proud of you!
thanks jaws - it felt great, especially after ring comment from week back. she said lots of simple things that really feel like steps in the friendly direction. Things that shows she cares or simple apology because her stuff was in my chair, or how wonderful, the comb I left to buy, was to have, or simple laughing, smiling conversation over 5D HW...all in solution journal...
jmw - Not much new. W asked if I would watch the kids the Friday nights she has them. She has softball games those nights. She asked if I would take care of them at her new place that she will be moving into next Friday. I said I could watch them there or just keep them at my house. Any suggestions? I was thinking it would be best for me to keep them at my house so during our custody trial I have proof that I was willing to be with the kids whenever she was willing to give up time. I also thought it would be good for me to take care of them at her place to possibly spend more time with her and get the R back on track. I really don't know. I am leaning on having them at my house.
She asked if I would take care of them at her new place...I said I could watch them there or just keep them at my house.
it has a lot to do with how pleasant things are with you two. And the things she is doing seem like you can do things in a non-confrontational way such as peck good night and hugs. Having said all of that, this is how I handle these kind of things now...I would not have said my house. If I can help out, I say something like that would be great, good, or something like that...positive, nothing negative, and short response. You know listen more, talk less. No novel needed in your response, she will tell you all about softball if you let her...lol. Sometimes my W will offer choices like in this case she might have said my place or your place. When she does that I say something like whatever is most convenient or easier for you. Something like that. I give her that kind of 'control'. Because, in my mind, these kind of things don't make a bit of difference. It lets her make choices. If she views you as controlling then this is a simple way of doing a 180. You are not controlling it a bit. Often, it's these kind of little things the WA, in my opinion, feels that the LBS is controlling.
I'd also like to say that her asking you to come to her house w/o her there is interesting in my mind. And that in itself is a positive. I think it shows a lot of trust and closeness. Certainly shows she is not awkward toward you in her life.
I know court stuff always in the mind but I don't see how you keeping them at her house is a strike against you. Could even be a positive there. Regardless, it is time and that is what I would think is most important...heck if you got them and went to the public park and then back to W's would that lose you a point in court. I doubt it. You have a home and job I am sure and that is what they look at.
If you are really concerned about where children then when the next time comes around just say something like, I was thinking of taking them to the park, pizza, wherever, if that is ok with you, and then swing by my house watch movie, see the new whatever...anything...I just would not create a controversy and I certainly would say anything about 'next times' now. Let her handle it...btw, I think it is worth pointing out that I do not think this is one of those doormat issues. So, I wouldn't worry about that either. She wants and needs you to do something at her place. I think that is all positive...
just my 2cents...sorry about the jumble...work, no revision time...
Work and life in general has been extremely busy and I have missed my visits to the board lately.
The latest interaction with the H was on Tuesday. He called me twice. The first I missed since my phone was off and never notified me. The second call he told me that he picked up some movies and I should come by to watch them. I suggested Wednesday since Tuesday's are long days for me with my Bible Study Group after work. He had plans for Wed. and I suggested if he didn't mind waiting that I could stop by after church.
I was surprised to see that he picked "chick flicks" that he would normally never watch and no movies for himself. It was a nice surprise after his call last Friday in response to my call on Thursday and he seemed to almost be begging me to invite him out, but then not returning my call on Saturday. So things seem to be getting minimally better, but better is better is better. I holding on and keeping hope. I hope you are doing well. I will drop by again very soon.
HIC, this sounds like it is nothing but positive to me. I am very happy that things seem to be moving in the right direction. Keep on keeping on.
