Ok then..........now we have to go through your purse item by item to make sure that your covered. Except you really don't need the 15 lipsticks and glosses that I always seem to carry with me in case of emergency.
I have no comment about the contents of purses. It amazes me how much a woman can tote around, tho.
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Hopefully you are working through all of the differences now.
There is indeed work to be done. We're in the middle of tiff right now, triggered by a continuance of no/little time together.
Interesting timing, too, as I received the first level of confirmation regarding my annulment request. There remains a 2nd review in another diocese, which could reverse the decision. But I doubt it.
Receiving the letter about the annulment left me with a mixture of feelings. Relief, excitement for my future, yet also a bit a sadness for the past me who naively walked into a buzz saw, not doing enough prep work for the M. My bad. Regardless, it is reality and I believe is an important part of my healing process and my continuing on with my life.
I've had a couple of nice lunches with friends from work and a dinner with a friend from out of town, with the general impression being that folks are/were a bit worried about how worn I've been. This job was taking on a bit too much importance, and I chose to neglect myself too much. As I've noted before, its high time to reverse that trend, busy schedule or no. I gritted my teeth and ran a solid 5 miles this evening despite the heat, my tubbiness, and the need to prep for an upcoming business trip. Celeste is opting out of going after all, and there goes a non-refundable ticket.
In a few weeks, I'll be heading west to see my family, then venturing north in a roundabout sort of way with S8 to see big country. It'll be nice to just get lost for awhile - lost in a good way.
It does seem to be getting longer b/t posts for me. Either that's a sign of healing or just general apathy or laziness on my part.
There is something very useful about this process of posting and getting input from others, as well as giving the same to others. Kind of like getting your journal reviewed and edited?
We had a good trip out west. I left feeling really connected again to my family. My dad has survived 2 battles with different cancers, and still walks/jogs daily in the Albuquerque area, which has rather thin air at 5k ft elevation. Leaves me sucking wind. S8 was able to hang out with Grandpa and I as we meandered for 3 days in my dad's truck and camper. Not as far as I'd hoped, but plenty of fun adventures and stories nonetheless.
Back home, like is good. Celeste's mom bought her a huge beautiful house, which has taken a bit of the press off of "us" in some ways and added different press in other areas.
The peace b/t XW and myself continues. Maybe not peace, perhaps more like detente. Continuance of more time with S8, with yet more at summer's end with XW traveling to the Middle East.
It is an interesting place to be for me. I have realized that we - meaning XW and I - held very different key definitions from day one - but we didn't recognize or perhaps acknowledge it until it was too late. We'd already tied the knot. Success, happiness, family, love, fun, faith, purpose, peace --- all defined so very differently. I don't fault her for those differences any more. I couldn't do that any more than I could fault someone of a different faith or culture for not seeing things my way.
On the other hand, I know myself so much better. I know so much better what pleases me, and how to care for myself and S8 in ways that leave us contented.
Just rented Definitely, Maybe tonight. In fact, that triggered me to post. I cried hard at the parts with the child pulling for a reunification or for knowledge about the "family" she did not know. Yet, I think I "got it" in terms of the single Dad - both in terms of his struggles and his acknowledgment of fulfillment via his role as dad. I found myself nodding vigorously when the Dad notes "YOU'RE my happy ending" to his daughter when she keeps pushing for some sense of his happiness post-M.
I think each of us could say that about our children from our dissolved M's.
I saw a lot of Celeste's Ds in the girl character. Both are very intuitive, almost scarily so. Girls are a whole other league.
It was worthwhile, at least as a rental...not sure I'd pay the kadrillion $ to see it with popcorn and a drink at the theater, but it was good.
It's been a doozy of a week. First, jury duty - first time in my life. Thru my work schedule waaay out of whack, but it was over on Tue.
Then I had another first - my 1st colonoscopy. Can anyone sing "Moon River"? When I awoke, the nurse said I came out smelling like roses. I think that's a good thing.
Then after Celeste dropped me off at home to sleepily enjoy my remaining demerol high, my pastor called to tell me that my M annulment had received final approval. We talked for a good 30 min about the impact of this news. Hopefully, I didn't sound too goobery, as Celeste said I sounded drunk when she talked to me after the procedure. Father encouraged me to receive this news as a fresh start, similar to walking out of the confessional in a cleansed, healed manner. I am free to enter a new M or to become a priest. You name it. I'm free.
Today, while picking up S8, X asked me to pick him up at her house so that she could show me his room. She'd laid laminate flooring and painted it for him. She's leaving on another foreign trip, so I have him for awhile again. Seemed melancholy and low for someone about to embark on another adventure. I assume she received the same annulment news as me, but there was no wondering or wishing for the M left in my heart. Things remain about her. Our values and choices are different. It doesn't make her a 'bad' person, just someone who'd make a poor partner for me, as proven.
I'm free to pursue my dreams and to work hard to discern what the good Lord has planned for me. A clean bill of health, a great little guy to help start the 3rd grade next week, and a beautiful fiance' who owns her own beautiful house. Good friends and reconnected strengthened Rs with my family. Life is very good.
I'm still humbled by the D process. Maybe humbling is part of the healing process, with us walking thru insecurity and regaining some self-confidence. But perhaps holding onto some humility allows us to weigh reality with a better view of a situation or R's strengths and shortcomings. Less naive, more clear-headed.
S8 and I will go to a family gathering with Celeste's family this eve, then venturing on our own this weekend.
You folks are the best. I truly admire your hard work at continuing to grow as individuals and the efforts you put forth to support one another. This is a unique 'place' in the world.
Spent last night hanging out with Celeste's BIL and 6 kids, including a 4mo infant. The women and their mom went out for a 'girls night.'
At one point, I manned the fort with all 6 while BIL-to-be made a wine run to the grocery store. Celeste's oldest helped translate what the 4mo seemed to want (boy, its been awhile since I've dealt with a real lil' one). We had a good time talkin while the kids played. The loss of C's StepDad still makes me sad. I know it still hits them all hard.
This morn, the kids had me battle them on a PS2 karaoke-like game. I beat C when we sung a Clash song, triggering various excuses on her part - what a sore loser , then lost to each girl on various tweener songs. Lots of fun.
Off to pack my first school lunch of the year - S8 starts tomorrow.... YEA!!!!
I just found out that Mrs. Fields cookies has gone bankrupt... Oreos just don't cut it anymore. What am I gonna do for comfort food?
Wait, didn't Kev say s/t about Cheetos? Yum! Oh, wait a minute. I just remembered what he said about where he found Cheetos dust... just lost my appetite.
Wikipedia says that Chester Cheetah, the Cheetos mascot, was created by the same guys that made up the Pink Panther. Who knew?
Go eat the Cheetos. Kevin has a problem because he doesn't wear pants.
Mrs Fields would be a tuff ones to deal with though. Ok, so here's your gift for the day. Have you tried the new soft oreos? I used to make Whoopie pies for my kids but they areloaded with caloried and fat. When they came home on for the 4th of July they requested them. Instead I bought these things. They taste just like them but in a more controlled portion. Don't i always take care of you? SHEESH!
, then lost to each girl on various tweener songs. Lots of fun. 
