Ready2Change (II) - Detached

[CBK]

R2C

You are a very dedicated and patient man. After you posts on my thread, I wanted to read your story. I am so impressed with you and the steps you have taken. I have valued your input and now understand more about you.

Keep the faith.

CBK

[Ready2Change]

1. What do I really, really, really want?
To make these statements to W:
"I am sorry you feel that way"
"I understand that you feel that way"
2. Happiest moment today:
Being strong,assertive, but very pleasant with MIL.
3. Refine my mantra
I can initiate conversation with anyone!

[Ready2Change]

Can you describe an "active listening dialogue"?

Michele gave us a copyrighted "rule" document. I am not sure if it is available online or not. HINT!!


To paraphrase: One person says a brief statement. The other person repeats what s/he hears. This continues until the speaker feels the listener understands or speaker wants feed back. Then they reverse roles.

[Ready2Change]

I just learned a good lesson:
Don't think about the past too much right now. Focus on NOW and the future. I saw our engagement picture, so I took a closer look at us. The tears started flowing.


On another note: I have been wearing a "Peace" wrist band for some time now. If I have bad thoughts(or actions) about W I move it to other wrist. I haven't moved it for several days. My mind slipped and I had bad thought tonight, so I moved it.

[Ready2Change]

One more to add to my list:

"I can see how you would see it that way....that must have been hard to feel like that."

[Gypsy]

Hey Mr. Ready!

A friend of mine and I bought the CD's before the bomb and I was doing EFT, trying to see how it worked.

It's a great way to calm down, slow down, brings a sense of peace. If you buy any CD, do the one that demonstrates how to do it. If I'm on a walk, getting agitated, I'll start tapping away. Sometimes I'll keep trying to refine the statement, tapping one statement after another.

Let me know how it works for you!

The new topic in Newcomers, something like "What newcomers don't want to know' is very helpful.

*hugs*

[Ready2Change]

Wow, you are getting her into a session with Michele - this is major. Well done

This was my last big pull on the rope. She has pulled back, but I have dropped it. I just need to learn to let it lie there now....

[ernest88]

R2C,
I read all your sitch today. I am truly impressed with you and your dedication.

The C session with Michele--you never saw anything positive from your wife just after this session?? Was your W engaged with Michele or u during the session or did she just act like she did not want to be there?

You keep hanging in there.

[Ready2Change]

R2C,
I read all your sitch today. I am truly impressed with you and your dedication. The C session with Michele--you never saw anything positive from your wife just after this session?? Was your W engaged with Michele or u during the session or did she just act like she did not want to be there? You keep hanging in there.

Thanks M!
I haven't seen W much. (Only positive I have seen is W ask me for help with her IPOD. I tried, but was unable to help). She told me she is on buisiness trip this past week. She gets back tonight. She then leaves with kids tommorrow for 5 days in California for her sisters wedding.

We shall see how W is when she gets back from Cali.

[Ready2Change]

One of my 180's is to activly meet and talk to new people. Last Sat at S7 baseball practice, I meet one of the moms. Her H left her 4 months ago. I droped off a copy of DR to her yesterday.

I took all 3 kids to MIL house to spend the night.(Today, they leaving for 5 day vacation in CA with W and inlaws.)
I went to concert last night. I had good and engaging conversation with the most attractive lady in the place. A little boost to the ego!

W got back from 5 trip last night. I did not go home. I gave W space.

First two emails from W since she left. One thanking me for "cleaning car". (I had it detailed while she gone).

Other one about dogs. (I text back saying I was taking them with me this weekend and told her to have a good time in CA!)