TAP it is then! RMRB (round mound of rebound), it just came to me....
See Snarky works on some levels!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Strange happenings the last 2 days and could use some "insight." H is starting to ask about "coming home" and what would happen ifs...
I don't know if this is progress or another attempt to keep me around, but hes all over the place. One minute talking about being home and having a business relationship with OW, and then talking about "if" he comes home. So confusing, I don't know if he is just trying to continue to cake-eat or if hes really trying to get off of the fence. He told me last night that he really enjoys talking with me. I just don't get it...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Well, as I am also getting the "what would happen ifs" I am hoping I can steal some advice from someone further along in the process.
But in the meanwhile, I'll just pass along what I have been trying to do - talk honestly when my H wants to discuss things, be supportive and validating of him, reassure him the door is open, keep my expectations low, hope for the best, and always keep the worst in the back of my mind but don't let the fear control me.
Time will tell. At this point, I think we can handle anything!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
But in the meanwhile, I'll just pass along what I have been trying to do - talk honestly when my H wants to discuss things, be supportive and validating of him, reassure him the door is open, keep my expectations low, hope for the best, and always keep the worst in the back of my mind but don't let the fear control me.
Time will tell. At this point, I think we can handle anything!
This is what i need to do myself..I think I'll save this as a reminder..you sound so strong..Wish i could feel this way too..Oddly enough I felt stronger when i threw him out , at least then I knew he was with OW, now it's the what if's that are killing me..
Me: 36 H: 34 2 D's: 10+13 Married: 13 yrs(Together 15) Found out about A-Jan 08 Finally ended April 08..I hope?? Struggling to co-exist in peace
Strange happenings the last 2 days and could use some "insight." H is starting to ask about "coming home" and what would happen ifs...
Grumpy, I don't really have any advice but glad to hear it sounds like good things are happening in your R. I do think sometimes our H's are just mixed up and don't entirely know what they themselves want, so it can be confusing of course! I think michelle had great advice, be supportive & keep the door open but expectations low, and don't rush things, a slow pace is probably good from what I read here. Keep us posted!!! Karen
Oddly enough I felt stronger when i threw him out , at least then I knew he was with OW, now it's the what if's that are killing me..
It is sooooo hard not to think about it. Some days I feel like anything is possible, others I wonder if this could ever be worth it, and most days I am convinced I am just a stubborn, crazy woman.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Those are all the range of emotions I go through at least once a day. You take 1 step forward and a couple to the side and at least two backward. Its like the HokeyPokey for the directionally challenged.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I just hate having to keep guarding my heart against the person I love with all of it. Sometimes I wonder if I really want him back because it will be better or if I just want to win. I mean I know I want things to be better, but a part of me is terrified he will come back and I'll look at him and go "Ick, I really didn't want you back." Is that bad? Does anyone else ever feel this way? I guess its kinda stupid to even be thinking like this when that is not a reality, but the "what if's" get your hopes up. I'm going to have to keep working on just taking it easy and just keeping up the "friendship" portion, that seems to be what is working in my favor right now. Not talking to him only seems to drive him that much further away.
Sometimes its hard to have conversations with him, as what he tells me is brutal and a blow to my ego, but part of me feels good that we can even still talk. He told me last night that he enjoys talking to me, I don't know if thats a positive or a negative, but I guess if he needs to talk and will talk to me, I should do it.
This sucks....I'm going to the gym
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
At this point, I think we can handle anything!